ahahahaha i have a performance review meeting in two and a half hours and
all i can really truthfully say is that my performance as of late has been
really really terrible and that i want to improve but honestly i’m not sure
if i can step it up the way i need to and wow i suck at being a responsible
adult and doing my goddamn job ahahahaha
but that is not a useful summary of events and would in fact be actively
detrimental to my career so i better think of better stuff to say in the
next two hours.
my professional self is all over the place and not getting anything done. i
have too many different things to do and not enough time and energy to
really do any of them so tiny bits and pieces get done here and there and
mostly i just skate by doing the bare minimum which makes me hate myself
for being so unindustrious.
like, i got so much shit done when i first started working here. so. much.
and for the last six months (and even more so in the last few weeks since I
got back from vacation) it’s like i get jack shit done and i feel like i
hit the ground running and then kind of wandered away from the race track
to chase butterflies or some shit and i don’t know how to find my way back.
getting back on an early day schedule is going to help, I know it is, but i
don’t know how long it’s going to take to get back on track with my sleep
schedule or how these new twelve hour shifts are going to fuck with me.
it’s cool tho i mean it’s pretty unlikely they’d fire me just because i
suck lately, right??? they put all sorts of money into training me and shit.
hashtag mkp whines a lot
hashtag mkp worries a lot
hashtag mkp in real life
hashtag mkp is allegedly a grownup