Jul. 31st, 2014

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Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.

Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you’re a failure.

Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.

Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don’t watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.

Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s.” What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.

Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment’s relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.

Control Fallacies: There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don’t believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).

Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair, but other people won’t agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.

Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.

Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.

Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.

Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.

Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.

Being Right: You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be ‘right’ often makes you hard of hearing. You aren’t interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn’t come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the ‘right thing,’ if your heart really isn’t in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.

I made up this chart after a CBT session. I thought I’d post it in case anybody found it useful. I really like this exercise because trying to find 8 alternatives keeps my mind busy when I would normally be caught in a negative thought cycle. I printed types of distorted thoughts on the back, as a reference.

*Edit* I cleaned up the image and added my new watermark

I found a lot of these rang true for BPD. Very useful information and very nice chart as well. :)


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The muted creak of leather rubbing on leather is the only sound in the room while Kurt makes his rounds about the man in front of him. They’ve explored a few dozen kinks over the years, each finding their favorites, but none of them are as technically complicated as preparing Blaine to step into his equine role (except perhaps some of Kurt’s more intricate bondage creations). It takes a fair amount of time to situate every strap and buckle, and by virtue of being Kurt Hummel, dedicated to perfecting Blaine’s appearance for any occasion, the process is even longer.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:glee, rating:mature, pairing:blaine.anderson/kurt.hummel, ~author:khal_blaine, rating:G-PG13, genre:gen, kink:pony!play, kink:non-sexual, note:drabble/ficlet

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“She deserved at least one person who saw her and knew how good she was.” ― Rick Riordan

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yes homo; a playlist for ladies loving ladies

i didn’t just kiss her - jen foster // who’d have known - lily allen // best song ever - gabrielle aplin // the wanderer - emilie mover // in your arms - kina grannis // little numbers - boy // closer - tegan & sara // midas touch - ellie goulding // i’m not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you - kate nash // biology - girls aloud // let her go - jasmine thompson // she keeps me warm - mary lambert // jenny (ballad version) lily sevin // swoon - imogen heap // barcelona - the plasticines // angels - the xx // sex rules - sky ferreira // fuck you/gonna get over you - sara bareilles // 1901 - birdy // love drunk - little mix // untouched - the veronicas // get lucky (feat. tanika) - naughty boy // maps - yeah yeah yeahs // sweater weather - kina grannis // take care - florence + the machine // parachute - cheryl cole // drove me wild - tegan & sara // my boots - lights // same love - angel haze // girlfriend - icona pop


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(see, I DID do something for 200 followers.  12 followers late, but it’s something! owo”)

All music here is free to use in your games or other projects without charge, either operating on a “Ok to use as long as you give me credit” basis, a Creative Commons License, or is already in the public domain (meaning there’s no copyright on it).

 For more information on Creative Commons License works, check here.  For an easy to look at graph, check here.  Remember, if it’s Public Domain, it’s free to use & redistribute to your heart’s content.

And feel free to add on more resources to this post if you like. c:


➤ Free Collections Ready for Download 


(don’t worry, it’s not all yume nikki in here!  Keep reading!)

Plasterbrain’s Yume Freebie Collection - plasterbrain's Yume Nikki Fangame Sound dump.  According to them, they're ok with you using it for any type of projects as long as you don't redistribute the pack for money.  Check out their sound cloud. They also did music for DREAM VS DREAM, a Yume Nikki fighting game you can play here.  Music loops.

Yume Nikki Fangame Month - bwarch's pay-if-you-want-it-would-be-really-nice-if-you-did-but-it's-fine-if-you-don't pack of free to use Yume Nikki Fangame music for your Yume Nikki fan game (I did the art for it!).  Has a bunch of rad tracks for you to use! Check out his Bandcamp here, his Soundcloud here, and his Youtube here. Music loops.

The Remains of the 8 Bit Collective - A huge file of Chiptune/8 Bit music free to use from the now down site 8 Bit Collective.  There’s a bunch of crap, but there are good ones in there too.  Music loops.

Rindre’s Effect Sounds - A few Sound Effects for your Yume Nikki game by our friend pakilusin​! Sound effects.  She’s working on an upcoming fan game called Redux, formerly the game Flux.

Rindre’s Fangame Music Pack - Some good ambientish tracks by our friend pakilusin! Music Loops.  Check out her soundcloud here!

RPG Maker.net’s Music Pack - RPG Maker.net’s form got together and put out a wonderful album full of RPG Music for you to use.  Music & loops.

Noyemi K’s Game Placeholder Pack - A pack by noyemik that includes music & chipsets to use as a PLLACEHOLDER for your game.  She has some free to use for her game right down here…

Noyemi’s Free to Use Resources - Along with her Placeholder pack, she also has some free to use music & sounds as well.  She’s the maker of Amihailu in Dreamland & Hell Diary, two rad games with equally rad soundtracks.  Check out her sound cloud here! And her bandcamp here!


➤ Websites for Downloading Music


English Sites

Flashkit - Always check if it’s freeware, licenseware, or shareware!  Sound Effects & Music Loops.

Freesound.org -  Check the licensing agreement on the things you download!  Sound Effects and Music Loops.  You’ll need an account before you download anything, but the library is just so vast that it’s well worth it.

Partners in Rhyme - They’re mostly for youtube videos, but are ok if you use it in your video game.  Music Loops.

Looperman - Focuses on loops for audio software (so if you want to add more to it feel free). Here’s their terms & conditions page.  You also have to create an account before you download anything.  Loops, samples, sound effects, acapellas, & raps.

Sound Bible - Royalty-free Sound Effects under the public domain & attribution creative commons license.

Media College - has like, 10 loops in the public domain for you to download.

Free SFX - I linked to their License Page because it’s a bit hidden. Free Sound Effects.  Yes, you have to make an account, but it’s free.

JWinter Music - A blog that post free to use Music, mostly for youtube videos.

Indie Game Music.com - Specifically for indie games.  Music on the site is under three different licenses, so check this page before you go off downloading things.  Loops & Music.

FreePD.com - All of it is in the public domain (everything’s free to use because the copyright expired/there was no copyright in the first place).  Loops.

Media Collage - Free Sound Effects as long as you don’t sell them yourself.

SampleSwap.org -“You must Log in (or register) in order to download these samples.… 100% of the samples on this site are free, but registration helps us fight MP3 robots and establish controls over how much gets downloaded, and when.” Samples, Music & Noise Loops, & sound effects.

Dig.CCMixter.org Check each track for a money symbol next to it.  If there is none, it’s free to download. Free music.

Incompetech - All music is under creative commons, made by one dude.  It’s a LOT of music, & is separated by different genres if you want to search for things. 

iBeats - for when you need looping beats for your music.  Remember, check the license (some are public domain, some are under commercial use under attribution, and most under a non-commercial license).

FreeMusicArchive.org - most works are under the Creative Commons license.  Music & Spoken Word downloads.

Free Loops - Mostly Free Loops & VST Plug ins.  Like so many others, check the license before downloading.

Musopen - Aims to be the largest public domain music collection.  Go ahead and check if the recording itself as well as the composition is in public domain. Most recordings are.  The site offers Classical Music Downloads, as well as Sheet Music. 

Japanese Sites

Vita Chi - Free to use for both commercial & non-commercial projects!  Music, Screams, & Sound Effects.  Mad Father has

PianosDauGe.org - I’m pretty sure it’s free for both commercial and non-commercial use, as long as you don’t redistribute. A bunch of Music Loops.  Check out the private policy (in Japanese) here.

Classical Masterpiece Sound Library - Need free classical music and fast?  Shazam!  Free to use commercially and non-commecially. Alice Mare & The Crooked Man used this site for their classical pieces.

Senses Circuit - Wadanohara & the Great Blue Sea.

Pocket Sound - Free to use Sound Effects! “This license lets others distribute, remix, tweak, and build upon a work, even commercially, as long as you credit them for the original creation.”

Tami Music Factory -  Free to use commercially & non commercially. Check out the copyright page here.  Sound effects, loops (Midi & Ogg), and… uh, mobile ringtones if you’re in need of those 0w0”.

Amacha Music - According to the FAQ, it’s free for both commercial and non-commecial use.  Music.

H/MIX GALLERY - free background music/loops made by Hirokazu Akiyama.  Free for non commercial use only though, you’ll have to pay for a license if you want to use it commercially. Mad Father, the Crooked Man, The Witch’s House, Alice Mare,

Otonomori - According to Rindere, it’s a free to use sound effects website for commercial and non-commercial uses.

Presence of Music - I’m pretty sure it’s just for non-commecial use only.  Has music for both standard RPGs & Horror RPGs.  Loops, I believe. Ib & the Witch’s House both have music from this site.

*Asterisk* - Free to use Midi files & Web music. Credit is not necessary, but appreciated.  

koukaongen.com - Free to use sound effects, music, & loops. Credit is nice, but you don’t need to link back to them.  I’m pretty sure it’s noncommercial use only.  One of the sites used by the creator of Ib.

Music Material - I’m not too sure what the copyright page says but you can look at it here.  Music.

Dova Syndrome - Check out the copyright page here.  Music & loops. 

A few more found by Rindere - I’m not translating these anymore, you’re on your own. >3< BUT they’re all supposed to be Sound Effects websites.




rabbit-hole-divisions - All their music is free to use.  I haven’t heard from them in a while though!

Yume Nikki Fangame Music Sheet - Just something if you like sheet music & Yume Nikki fan games.


➤ Browser Music Making Programs


Make Music in your own browser! (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, Opera, etc.)

http://www.pulseboy.com - An 8bit/Chiptune Music Maker!

Bfxr - A sound effects maker!  

as3sfxr - another sound effects maker! A bit simpler than Bfxr.


➤ Free Plug ins


Some Chiptune VSTs (the post warns you that you probably shouldn’t the Toad & Peach ones!)

ALSO check out the YT channel “audiopad” all their stuff is under a free use lisence EVEN FOR COMMERCIAL WORK so if you want to get some money for your hard work, you can use their music legally, so long as you honor the license!

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Less queer struggles more queer snuggles 

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yeah, no. officially have done more in the past two days than I have in
nearly three weeks.

I don’t know if this is just a placebo effect from the new meds or what and
I do not care. I never noticed a crash yesterday (well. beyond the “I just
worked for twelve hours it is BEDTIME” crash which I think is pretty
legit.) which was pretty cool because I was on-and-off productive all day
and only had wisps of reflexive existentialism here and there.

and nary a tangerine in sight!

*crosses fingers that it stays that way*

hashtag mkp in real life

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Things I Need to Do:

- Find an apartment
- Buy a car
- Pay my taxes (yes I’m late but it’s okay i got an extension!)
- Find new doctors for when my insurance switches in September

Things I Ought to Do:

- Investigate getting own phone plan
- Figure out what health expenses happened in between setting up HSA and
getting HSA debit card (and then figure out how to get reimbursed via HSA)
- Actually get that second bank account set up
- Apply for an actual-fax credit card from the credit union

Things I Know How to Do:

- None of the above

hashtag le sigh
hashtag mkp is allegedly a grownup

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Sometimes I feel bad about the fact that I often need very basic concepts/tasks explained to me but it’s just like when you are visiting your friends house and you have to ask what drawer the forks are in except the earth is my friends house and I am always visiting

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but it is not this day.

hashtag mkp is allegedly a grownup

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When the Supreme Court strikes down DOMA, Kurt and Blaine impulsively get married on the spur of the moment even though they were still broken up. They resolve not to tell anyone, and set about working their way through married life and wedding planning while trying not to spill their secret. || well, they’re pretending to JUST be a couple, so. >.>!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:glee, rating:teenandupaudiences, pairing:blaine.anderson/kurt.hummel, ~author:nadiacreek, adorable, sweet, genre:crack, trope:marriage!fic, trope:pretend!couple, entertaining, genre:au

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In his 2009 book on Captain America comic books, war photography, and American propaganda, Everett claims: “There is nothing to suggest that either the graphic novels issued during the war or the photographs taken during Rogers’ stay with the Howling Commandos can serve as a basis for a queer reading of Rogers and Barnes’ relationship. But even more importantly, there is nothing to suggest that such a relationship ever existed in the first place, and as such, those queer readings are not only misguided, but also libelous” (197). [from: Lynn E. Anderson, Captain America: Behind the Mask. Steve Rogers and the Contemporary Hero Narrative (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2012), p. 242.] In the aftermath of Steve’s return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, fandom:marvelcinematicuniverse, rating:teenandupaudiences, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, ~author:idrilka, epic, trope:epistolary!fic, trope:outside!pov, epistolary!fic:multimedia, fandom_related:breaking-the-fourth-wall

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Blaine is a sexual free spirit with a bit of a reputation, Kurt doesn’t do casual. It should be impossible, and yet Blaine just cannot stop thinking about him.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:glee, rating:explicit, pairing:blaine.anderson/kurt.hummel, ~author:alianne82, warning:kink-consent-issues, kink:d/s, genre:au, glee:skank!blaine

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kind of wanting to scream into a pillow right now, ngl.

bosses, please to be understanding that I cannot do every fucking thing all
at fucking once and that you are in fact making these things more fucking
complicated than they fucking need to be.

want to know what various projects I’m working on atm?

- designing a website for my team that will have everything they need
and be easy and intuitive to use
- transferring hundreds of pages of reference documents to said website
and organizing them in a clearer more useful way
- creating forms for inputting data on the website instead of just using
an excel sheet
- importing data from old excel spreadsheets so we have archival info
- updating the reference materials (editing changed info)
- updating the reference materials (adding new info)
- revising documented procedures
- creating and writing up NEW procedures for a) using the new website to
do the work they’re used to doing in excel, b) using the new features I’m
putting in place, and c) how to do this whole DIFFERENT procedure for
keeping the rest of the company up-to-date not to MENTION documenting all
the guidelines for who we tell what when
- at some point I need to make another schedule because this one ends in
a month
- I really should see what new bugs need ticketing
- I also should probably pay attention to all my already ticketed bugs
and bug the qes to fix stuff or let them know if their supposed fix didn’t
- also I guess I could do my basic job of monitoring emails and
- oh and I guess I should go back and fill in the data I never recorded
last week because I was like fuck that noise I can’t do it right now

I think I need to press my boss harder about hiring another person because
I’m not sure I could handle this workload even if I WASN’T also busy doing
day-to-day monitoring stuff.

hashtag mkp whines a lot
hashtag wow it looks so much worse when i actually write it out like that
(the best part is that i am 95% sure i am forgetting other shit i’m
supposed to be doing.)

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Kurt’s tongue stud opens up a world of possibilities that neither Kurt nor Blaine could have exactly anticipated. Character study and lots of smut naturally follow. Featuring sex toys, prostate play, heavy spanking, and anal. Warnings for some casual reference to Ambien, OCD, and canonical character death (Finn.)!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:glee, rating:explicit, pairing:blaine.anderson/kurt.hummel, ~author:fierybeams, kink:sex-toys, kink:prostate!play, kink:spanking, kink:other/unspecified, warning:other/unspecified, season/series-four

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Blaine goes to buy a ring. So does Kurt.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:glee, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:blaine.anderson/kurt.hummel, ~author:nadiacreek, adorable, genre:gen, genre:episode-tag/missing-scene, genre:au, au:justalittledifferent

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Steve’s not jealous. Steve doesn’t get jealous, okay? Not since the fondue thing with Peggy, and that was what, like seventy years ago, now? Steve’s too old to get jealous anymore. So what if Bucky is secretly sleeping with Clint?!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:theavengers, fandom:captainamerica, rating:teenandupaudiences, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, ~author:nerdwegian, entertaining

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