Aug. 15th, 2014

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“Commander Vimes didn’t like the phrase ‘The innocent have nothing to fear’, believing the innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like ‘The innocent have nothing to fear’.”
- Terry Pratchett (via beornwulf)
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msmeiriona:

HEY FOLLOWERS:

HAVE YOU EATEN RECENTLY?

ARE YOU HYDRATED?

IS THERE MEDICATION YOU NEED TO TAKE?

HAVE YOU LAUGHED TODAY?

FRIENDLY REMINDER BECAUSE I KNOW I NEED THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.

ALSO HERE HAVE A KITTEN:

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januarium:

castiel-is-a-bluebird:

the-misadventures-of-lele:

licklucifer:

[x] Hans sings “Love is an Open Door” with himself.

IM LOSING MY SHIT

I lost it when Hans was like “Oh Hans” and Hans was like “I know”

sodsta

alert alert you need this!

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likearumchocolatesouffle reblogged your post and added:

Nice things for MKP!

Here is an app for distracting yourself with colours and sounds. (I learned about it from you in the first place and I like it so thank you! You’re awesome!)

Here is a post with a list of links to web sites that are relaxing or distracting!

Here are some kittens!

I like you and care about you! I hope you feel better soon! <3

Edit: Also don’t forget to eat regularly and drink water! <3

Thank you, Jamie! 

I feel lots better now. Two of the links you gave me helped calm me down and make it through the rest of the work day, and eating dinner and lying down has helped even more!

I am pretty sure it’ll come back but will proably be a lot less overwhelming when I’ve actually had sleep, which is the plan for this evening.

IF NOT THOUGH

I now can have a pug lick my computer screen from the INSIDE OF IT and make beautiful multicolored sand art!

(there’s even an app for the sand art! granted it is apparently not compatible with my tablet but this is still a Good Thing to Exist in the World.)

and look at the pretty!

You get to watch the sand falling, too, which is the best part IMO.

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lurkdusoleil reblogged your post and added:

ILY honey. You’re one of the most awesome people around, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, or I’ll kick em.

#filed under things i did not realize i needed to hear today

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weirwoodforest:

awwww-cute:

Just a box of puppies

mikeysgalaxyhair

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bdsmgeek:

Traced the images that have been floating around Tumblr back to the source for this how to sequence, and made a more detailed one.

Enjoy and stay cool!

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relahvant:

it’s like “i’m a pug pug pug pug pUG PUG PUG PUG PUG”

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wintercreek:

flexitariantovegetarian:

I’m kind of considering going to a Unitarian Universalist church Sunday but I’m worried because I’m very very shy.

Hi! Hope you don’t mind a response from someone random who tracks the UU tag!

I’ve been a UU for 7 years now, and I can tell you that there are lots of shy and introverted UUs, so you won’t be alone in that. HOWEVER, most UU churches will have greeters and/or a welcome desk or table or something - these people have signed up specifically to be welcoming and patient and answer questions and introduce you to others without making you feel awkward (at least, they’ll do their best). So look for the people or the place that say “greeter” or “welcome” or “newcomers” and go there, either before or after the service.

Also, if the minister (or other celebrant, whoever’s leading the service) does the whole “New people, please stand up and introduce yourselves” you can totally feel free to pass. I knew one minister who would say, “If you’re an extravert like me, now is the time to stand up and introduce yourself! If you’re an introvert like my partner, now is the time to sit quietly and draw no attention to yourself, and you can meet one person later rather than 150 people right now.” So we Get It, generally, I promise.

UU congregations are pretty individual in some ways and very similar to each other in other ways, so it’s possible there won’t be greeters or a welcome table. But probably there will be. There may even be donuts - at one UU church they kept a box of donuts back specifically for the newcomers’ table. :D

My church actually has special green mugs they encourage visitors/new people to use during coffee hour and people will try to be welcoming to you!
Are you worried because you don’t want to talk to people or because you’re worried no one will talk to you?

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maybe this week will be the week I go back to church?

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being an adult means you can bake chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and the only one there to judge you is you.

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devonwood replied to your post:being an adult means you can bake chocolate chip…

I just ate a cupcake for breakfast so I feel you.

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
am pretty sure I slept for like 12 hours straight last night.

it was goddamn fantastic.

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Giveaway!

Aug. 15th, 2014 03:18 pm
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shamelesslymkp:

moriahgemel:

I want to thank my followers here on my professional blog! So I’m giving away a little bit of swag in honor of my 100th follower.

First…the rules:

You MUST be following me!

You must be over 18 years of age.

Only reblogs count! But reblog as many times as you like.

The giveaway ends the day of the release of Load the Dice (September 9)

I’ll ship anywhere worldwide!

So what will you get?

Fuzzy handcuffs! For the furthering of your naughty play (or as a novelty item).

A hand-drawn doodle by my 2 year old son.

A handwritten message from me.

Various little knick knacks and doo dads, which I will select once you have won, basing them on your blog.

A signed copy of my upcoming novel, Load the Dice*

And that’s it! Get reblogging!

(*You will have to wait for the physical copy to be published at the end of its serial run. You can choose if you’ll receive the other prizes at that time, or as soon as available.)

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I have a new pinboard tag!

So-You-Had-A-Bad-Day

for all those lovely distractions and coping resources out there!

(I don’t plan to bookmark all of the things, just the ones I find helpful personally, but please feel free to reblog this post with suggestions and links to other people’s masterposts!)

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devonwood:

newleasemylove, I didn’t burn the house down, fortunately!!

Also I made stupidly delicious cupcakes with like four ingredients. I took a box of lemon cake mix and did that thing where you sub 10oz of diet soda for the eggs and oil and I used Mountain Dew. And then I took a can of vanilla frosting and mixed in one of those lemonade packets you put in a water bottle, and voila lemonade icing. It was tart but still sweet, and went well with the fluffiness of the cupcakes, and I could pretend like I was a master baker~*~ when I spent like $3 at the store on the ingredients.

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Choosing the ideal typeface for what you are trying to communicate can be frustrating with the available font browsing interfaces. Wordmark.it is designed to help with this font selection process by quickly displaying previews of any text with the fonts installed
on your computer.

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shamelesslymkp:

Based purely on my own life experiences and vantage point! YMMV.  Tread carefully if you don’t know the person well.  If you are afraid for their safety and well-being, suggest they contact a professional.  Do not be afraid to say “I am out of my depth here.  I want to help, but I don’t want to make things worse.”

NOTE: If you think I have written something terribly wrong wrong that is so very very wrong please tell me!  Everyone is different, of course, so everyone’s needs at times like these are going to be different, but even with all my disclaimers, I don’t want to be suggesting things other people know to be harmful.

If they feel completely overwhelmed by life…

Express that you care.

Ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

help them break down the problems that are overwhelming them and focus on one thing at a time

help them break out of the anxiety spiral by offering a distraction

let them just talk out their feelings to you

If they’re dealing with a particular problem that seems unsolvable…

Express that you care.

Ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

help them break down the problem: what is it? why is it seemingly insurmountable  what are the consequences if they fail to surmount it?

often, things like these seem worse than they are because we do things like exaggerate consequences and assign moral values to things that really don’t ~have~ moral value as such (example: you fail to meet an important deadline because you procrastinated.  you have made a mistake, one that will have a major effect on your academics/work/whatever.  you have failed at this one specific task.  that does not automatically translate to “you are a failure”, although our brains often do so.)

help them create an action plan for solving the problem

help them create an action plan for what to do if worst comes to worst - sometimes it helps just to know that the world won’t actually end, that there are ways to keep it turning even if they’re difficult or unpleasant

If they feel like nothing and no-one, as depression sometimes make you do…

Express that you care.

Ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

physically keep them company! if they are comfortable with touch (ask! their feelings may be different right now, even if normally they are the cuddliest of cuddlebunnies.), skin contact can be very grounding and comforting

help them think of good things they have achieved in the past, and/or positive traits about themselves

tell them why they are important to you

If they are survivors of abuse, rape, sexual assault, etc. and are being triggered by something…

Express that you care.

Ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

Let them talk, about the trigger, how they feel, about their opinions on the latest Glee episode, whatever.  Just listen.

if they feel silly or angry or ashamed about being triggered (which can happen!), make sure to remind them that their emotions and reactions are absolutely valid and that it doesn’t matter what triggered them or why - what matters is that they have been triggered and they’re hurting and you would like to help.

Help them distract themselves from their current feelings.

Help them extricate themselves from the situation, if appropriate and they want your help in doing so.

Offer a hug.  DO NOT INITIATE ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT WITHOUT EXPLICIT PERMISSION. EVEN IF THEY ARE THE CUDDLIEST OF CUDDLEBUNNIES.  Make sure they know that you will respect their boundaries.

If they’re having urges to self-injure…

Express that you care.

Ask if they are safe at the present time.  If they do not feel safe, do not leave them alone.  Call 911/take them to the ER if that seems prudent.

If they are safe at the present time, ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

Ask if they would like you to keep them company until the urges pass

Ask if they would like you to take possession of their usual tool until the urges pass

Suggest other things they can do to mimic the sensation without actually hurting themselves: snapping a rubber band on their wrist, holding ice for as long as they can hold it.  Drawing really hard on paper can also be cathartic, or doing something like punching a pillow.  If they don’t feel real/present, suggest other ways of grounding themselves through their senses - stroking their own arms, taking a hot bath, etc.

Help them find a way to distract themselves until the urges pass

If they’re feeling suicidal…

Express that you care.

Ask if they are safe at the present time.  If they do not feel safe, do not leave them alone. Call 911/take them to the ER ASAP.

If they are safe at the present time, ask how you can help.

Help if they ask for it.  Don’t attempt to help if they say not to.  Express again that you care, that you are there if they decide they want your help in future.

If they do ask for help, but don’t know what you can do, here are some ideas:

If they are actively suicidal, again, help them seek professional help.  

One sign of being actively suicidal as opposed to passively suicidal is having a plan/method.  

If they are passively suicidal (defined here as wanting to be dead, but not wanting to kill themselves):

Ask if they would like you to keep them company until the urges pass

Remind them that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  Suggest grounding themselves in the present.  Don’t think about the future, don’t think about tomorrow.  Think about this next breath, this next minute.  Every minute is a victory.

Suicidal thoughts happen for a variety of reasons, but in essence, suicidal thoughts are the reaction to a situation/emotion that seems untenable.  (example: Imagine the worst feeling you have ever felt.  Now imagine that never stopping.  Imagine the only thing you see when you think of the future is day after day of feeling this emotion, never lessening, never changing. You might feel like there’s no point in prolonging your suffering, or you might literally not even be able to imagine continuing like this.)  Remind them that even though it may seem impossible at the present time, they will not feel like this forever.

If this is a chronic problem for this person, remind them of all the other times they’ve fought this battle and won. (caution: this can backfire as it may just make the person feel like waiting out the low for a high is pointless, since another low is bound to happen anyway. tread carefully.)

Help them find ways to distract themselves from the thoughts.

Instead of being actively or passively suicidal, they may be experiencing what I call reflexive suicidal ideation. (I have no idea if that’s the proper terminology or not.)  By this I mean that due to a history of suicidal ideation, their brain now reflexively repeats those thoughts when triggered by a stressor.  The person does not really want to kill themselves or even to be dead/gone, but their brain is repeatedly saying things like “I should be dead/I should just kill myself.”  (as you can imagine, this can be very upsetting and frustrating.)

Help them reframe the thoughts.  It can be useful to refute the ideation out loud.  ”No, I don’t want to die.  I made a mistake, and I’m going to have to deal with the consequences, and it’s going to suck, but I don’t want to die.”

note: do not offer help, now or in the future, if you are not willing or able to follow through!  it is perfectly reasonable that you might not have the spoons yourself to help a friend through a trying time!  let them know that you care, and suggest other sources of support for them if you can.

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Giveaway!

Aug. 15th, 2014 09:37 pm
shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
shamelesslymkp:

moriahgemel:

I want to thank my followers here on my professional blog! So I’m giving away a little bit of swag in honor of my 100th follower.

First…the rules:

You MUST be following me!

You must be over 18 years of age.

Only reblogs count! But reblog as many times as you like.

The giveaway ends the day of the release of Load the Dice (September 9)

I’ll ship anywhere worldwide!

So what will you get?

Fuzzy handcuffs! For the furthering of your naughty play (or as a novelty item).

A hand-drawn doodle by my 2 year old son.

A handwritten message from me.

Various little knick knacks and doo dads, which I will select once you have won, basing them on your blog.

A signed copy of my upcoming novel, Load the Dice*

And that’s it! Get reblogging!

(*You will have to wait for the physical copy to be published at the end of its serial run. You can choose if you’ll receive the other prizes at that time, or as soon as available.)

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kagezukami:

share a coke with the indescribable, omnipresent feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach

#make friends with it #try to get along #maybe there’s enough room in this brain for the both of you (via @into-the-weeds)

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yogachocolatelove:

This chart is great for those who don’t eat eggs! 👍 repost from @iherbinc

#vegan #food #eggs #substitutions

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