Sep. 7th, 2014

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You are more important to me than anything.

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Giveaway!

Sep. 7th, 2014 01:04 am
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shamelesslymkp:

moriahgemel:

I want to thank my followers here on my professional blog! So I’m giving away a little bit of swag in honor of my 100th follower.

First…the rules:

You MUST be following me!

You must be over 18 years of age.

Only reblogs count! But reblog as many times as you like.

The giveaway ends the day of the release of Load the Dice (September 9)

I’ll ship anywhere worldwide!

So what will you get?

Fuzzy handcuffs! For the furthering of your naughty play (or as a novelty item).

A hand-drawn doodle by my 2 year old son.

A handwritten message from me.

Various little knick knacks and doo dads, which I will select once you have won, basing them on your blog.

A signed copy of my upcoming novel, Load the Dice*

And that’s it! Get reblogging!

(*You will have to wait for the physical copy to be published at the end of its serial run. You can choose if you’ll receive the other prizes at that time, or as soon as available.)

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bongmeblazer:

soul-assassins:

smokinthefurrr:

The people should not be afraid of their government. The

government should be afraid of their people.

Holy fucking shit is this relevant.

This needs 1 million notes

Reblog this every fucking time I see it

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jaylanun:

jaylanun:

saint-bmo:

lol, you cant be Christian and a capitalist

i’m looking at you, Christian libertarians.

What did we ever do to you
Fuck you books are important

I very seriously misread this carry on

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LINK: http://ift.tt/U8lxVi
“His dad is probably going to tell Stiles not to hang out with us,” says Boyd, taking a sip of his Coke. Isaac gives Derek an utterly betrayed look, and Erica glares at him. “I told you not to wear those sunglasses!” she hisses. “What if Stiles can’t hang out with us any more?” says Isaac wretchedly. “What if Scott doesn’t want to hang out with us because —” “I said those were pedophile sunglasses!” says Erica, in a quiet, piercing whisper that makes Derek’s ears hurt. Boyd continues eating his gyro, which he has laid out on a plate like a salad on a piece of flatbread, methodically picking out the tomatoes, feta and lamb and laying them to the side to eat after the lettuce. Boyd would eat his gyro if there was a bomb going off.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:teenwolf, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:http://ift.tt/1a7XU8s, pairing:isaac.lahey/scott.mccall, pairing:scott.mccall.&.stiles.stilinski, pairing:http://ift.tt/1uimZF5, ~author:lazulisong, entertaining, genre:au, au:jossed, season/series-two

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morarty:

who needs healthy sleeping habits when you have fanfiction about the everlasting love between a genetically modified supersoldier and an amnesiac master assassin

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morarty:

who needs healthy sleeping habits when you have fanfiction about the everlasting love between a genetically modified supersoldier and an amnesiac master assassin

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destielfricklefrackle:

have you ever had to restart a song because you spaced out and weren’t appreciating it enough

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thebasics215:

Adult toys are a splendid way to promote safe sex with one’s self. Sharing a toy with a partner is even more fun. But to avoid bacterial infection or transmissions of STDs and to maintain the quality of your toy, products should be properly cleaned.  Here are a few tips on how to clean your sex toys.  

Cleaning non-porous materials (do not absorb dirt and bacteria): silicone, hard plastic or acrylic, glass, Pyrex, and stainless steel

Silicone: There are 3 effective options for cleaning silicone toys.  You can boil toys for 5-10 minutes, place in the top rack of your dishwasher, or wash with gentle fragrance free anti-bacterial soap and warm water.  Remember to not boil silicone toys with electrical components.  Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.

Hard Plastic or Acrylic: Toys made of hard plastic or acrylic can be cleaned with anti-bacterial soap and warm water.  Do not boil.  Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.

Glass, Pyrex, or Stainless Steel:  Glass and Pyrex toys may be washed with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. They are also dishwasher safe.  Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures.  Boil or soak stainless steel toys (that do not contain electrical components) in a 50:50 ratio bleach-water solution for 10 minutes.  Anti-bacterial soap with warm water or a cycle through the dishwasher works as well.

Cleaning porous materials (trap dirt and bacteria): rubber or jelly and realistic materials

Rubber or Jelly: Sex toys made of rubber or jelly can be cleaned with gentle anti-bacterial soap and warm water.  Be sure to thoroughly rinse soap completely off the toy so that it doesn’t become damaged or an irritation to you.  For the upmost safety, using a condom with rubber or jelly toys is highly recommended.  Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.

Realistic Materials: Wash these items with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. After a deep cleaning, let the items completely dry. Lastly, to maintain the quality and freshness of the toy, apply a light coating of cornstarch.

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All I want to be able to do is kiss my girlfriend…

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theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

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theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

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clothinthesand:

barbeauxbot:

rurone:

So I really love how the intro to Pacific Rim is, like, 90% plausible/whatever for the first two minutes. Massive tragedy in San Francisco, media and cultural response, blah blah blah

Then, completely straight-up, “So that’s when we decided to make giant robots.”

When life hands you lemons

you make giant robots

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Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, rating:mature, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, ~author:annafugazzi, trope:outside!pov, warning:homophobia, warning:character-death

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Bucky always did have sticky fingers, but he’d never been an actual thief until Steve came along. Five times Bucky stole for Steve, but kind of more for himself.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, ~author:biblionerd07, genre:five-times/five-things, genre:gen, pre-canon

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“YOU HAVE THIRTY. SEVEN. NEW MESSAGES,” Clint Barton’s phone announces. That can’t be good. Spoilers for The Winter Soldier.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, fandom:marvelcinematicuniverse, rating:teenandupaudiences, ~author:fabrega, genre:gen, genre:episode-tag/missing-scene, note:drabble/ficlet, entertaining

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persephonesidekick, this seemed possibly relevant to your interests.

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(PSH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ‘ALREADY EVENING’ AND ‘SERIOUSLY?’ AND ‘LIKE THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN’ I HAVE GOALS AND I AM POSTING THEM, DAMNIT)

.

WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO:

Start a load of laundry

Swap bed linens for fresh ones

Wash the five dishes in your sink, come on now that’s not hard keep it from getting disastrous

Load your tumblr queue

do another fic search for perfectanomaly​ and then message them back, you jerk, even if the message is ‘damnit i know i read this’ and ‘lol this fic-finding blog is not getting off to a good start’

take care of the dirty dishes and trash in your room (okay i guess there’s more than five dishes to wash but still not all that many this is totally doable, self)

ahahahahaha no really see if it’s still possible to return that bra you bought like, a month ago because it was thirty dollars and doesn’t fit, you moron

WHAT YOU ALSO OUGHT TO DO, IF POSSIBLE:

decide whether or not to go to the grocery store tonight or wait till tomorrow it is a sunday night and probably busy, remember! and you do till have chicken and rice to eat.

maybe write some fic because god it’s been forever and remember how much you love writing these fics even when you’re frustrated and blocked???

you could at least jot down some notes for those posts you keep meaning to make about sex and your exceptionally suggestible self

(possibly also about your mom but it is likely you will start to freak out and hate yourself so if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen, okay)

relatedly: actually make that sign for your door with the flowchart you designed about when to go visit your parents and when not to

maybe make a list of all those ADULTING things you are avoiding doing so at least you won’t forget about them and get slapped in the face with consequences later (i am thinking especially here about the taxes you got an extension on you really need to deal with those soon)

text [redacted] about going to visit apartments with you on tuesday or next saturday afternoon?

pin fics to pinboard

take a shower, you’ll feel less gross. but don’t do it right before bed remember going to sleep with wet hair is a JUST SAY NO kind of thing when it is this short you will never get it to look normal tomorrow otherwise. maybe you should do this tomorrow morning, actually. you could wash your face and brush your teeth tho! and also your hair, actually. you just napped with clips in and it is a hot mess.

WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO, DON’T EVEN FRONT:

fuck around on tumblr

watch the second cardcaptor sakura movie

look for ccs fic and be very disappointed

feel gross and sit in the dark

pet various stuffed animals and/or the fluffy fuzzy blanket of softness

really want nectarines jfc why are you daydreaming about the taste of nectarines that’s really strange, self

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There is a trigger inside of her head. No one is allowed to know who you really are, Chernaya Vdova. If they do, you must kill them. It was Maria who taught her loopholes, Maria who told her, ‘It doesn’t actually say when.’!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:theavengers, fandom:captainamerica, rating:teenandupaudiences, pairing:clint.barton/natasha.romanov, ~author:scribblemyname, genre:character-study, character:natasha.romanov

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ugh i’ve always kind of enjoyed the kia hamster schtick but this is just creepy and gross

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