Oct. 3rd, 2014

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est-offensa-et-mirari:

deppsydoodle:

deppsydoodle:

why is peter pan always flying?

he neverlands

I love this joke because it never grows old

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LINK: http://ift.tt/1m77wHK
Sarah rises and hugs her so tightly that Savannah’s wet towel soaks through her sweater. “What did you mean, before, I saved your life?” Savannah asks, voice muffled by Sarah’s shoulder. “I didn’t do anything.” After “Born to Run,” they’re just a kid without a mom and a mom without a kid. But a storm is still coming. (First in a series)!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:terminator:thesarahconnorchronicles, fandom:terminator-allmediatypes, fandom:terminator, fandom:theterminator, fandom:terminator2:judgmentday, rating:teenandupaudiences, ~author:stars_inthe_sky, post-canon, awesome, epic, character:savannah.weaver, genre:gen, note:series, series/universe:terminator:tellmewhereyourstrengthlies, warning:other/unspecified, so-fucked-up

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randomactsofdouchebaggery:

cknd:

I spend so much time alone that if I was ever falsely accused for a crime I would never have an alibi

you’d have your internet history

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so SOMEtime soon I am supposed to move into an actualfax apartment of my own and pay way more in rent and basically live paycheck-to-paycheck

(sp0iler alert: it’s not happening all that soon housing around here is the worst I have to put in my application to be on a waitlist)

once that happens I will be unable to spend money frivolously like I do now!

therefore, clearly the best plan is to do all my frivolous spending NOW.

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thetimesinbetween:

Guys. Guys, listen up.

I got a job.

I GOT A JOB.

Like, a full-time job with benefits and vacation days and a salary, in my field, in NYC.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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gladosinabox:

cuddlechester:

palecream:

it takes ten seconds to tag something and forty five minutes to hours to calm down from a panic attack. think about that for a second 

and totally feel comfortable enough to ask me to tag something that bothers you bc there are so many things that trigger people that i wouldn’t even think about and i’m sorry if i do that but let me know!

Please tell me if you need something tagged. Please please please. I will without any hesitation.

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There is a tale the young maidens of the kingdom tell, gathered together at the river’s edge, washing clothes against the rocks. It goes this way – once there was a woman who had something taken from her by a foolish, deceitful man. The loss grew within her until it was a thorn in her side, silver and sharp, stealing her breath as fast as she could gasp it. There was only one girl in the entire kingdom with hands small enough to slip between her ribs and pull it free.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:maleficent, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:aurora.&.maleficent, ~author:seventhswan

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slayboybunny:

date someone who makes you feel like Everytime We Touch by Cascada on the inside 

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LINK: http://ift.tt/16y8E8H
How six households in Night Vale deal with a weekly ritual.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:welcometonightvale, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:carlos/cecil.(welcome.to.night.vale), ~author:sonatine, genre:five-times/five-things

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leonqueerwata:

"what are the chances of EVERYONE in a group of friends being queer" you do realize that we all tend to flock together like penguins huddling for warmth in a cold, heteronormative world, right

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When the helicarriers blow up and the Winter Soldier goes on the run, he takes Steve with him. He’s got a name written in Morse code on the inside of his arm, a ton of questions he doesn’t know how to ask, and now, a new handler with absolutely zero sense of self-preservation to contend with. Life is hard. In which Bucky tries to figure out whether he’s a human being, Steve does everything he can to keep from losing him again, they go on a HYDRA killing spree across the country, and there are lots of explosions.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, fandom:marvelcinematicuniverse, fandom:theavengers, rating:teenandupaudiences, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, pairing:natasha.romanov/sam.wilson, ~author:dirtybinary, character:bucky|james.barnes, warning:brainwashing/mindfuckery, trope:amnesia, warning:other/unspecified

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hotelsongs:

What do you do if you’re capable of anything?
Just because you’re capable of anything doesn’t mean you have to do everything. It’s not a death sentence, Lulu. It’s a life sentence.

no salvation for a bad girl. a mix for tallula mary apollonia demetriou, mary and magdalene and monstrous feminine, who was eating hearts long before she was a werewolf, whose sacred streak has always run to the profane. for tallula, visibly smudged with the permissive modern wisdoms, for tallula, too selfish and good-looking and lazy and perverted to ever live the kind of life she knew she ought to, for tallula, whose humanity was bigger than her shame long before the monster was there. for maiden-mother-whore murderous-divine bad-woman superwoman fundamentally-humanhearted tallula victrix. listen | link | cover by the fabulous samiraproblem - natalia kills • little girl - dj danger mouse & sparklehorse (ft. julian casablancas • baby did a bad bad thing - chris isaak • it only takes one night - dum dum girls • damned if she do - the kills • kill of the night - gin wigmore • dirty diana - the weeknd • i get around - dragonette • wolf like me - anna calvi • walk at night - cults • heartbeats - thrushes • mary on the mend - cherry ghost • st. apollonia - beirut • talula (the tornado mix) - tori amos

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quicksummary:

A group of misfits joins the glee club at their school except they’re actually all hot as hell and most of them are popular. They all date each other except the gay one who is dating Harry Potter.

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what episode is it where Blaine has his freshman fifteen freakout? how
important is that episode overall as a thing to be watched?

my two hangups about watching the rest of season five (besides just general
inertia) are a) is this even worth it if they’re going to shatter my heart
to pieces in season six and b) watching the quarterback, watching bash, and
watching this ep, whatever it is.

it’s stupid but I keep seeing gifs from the episode and they’re all Blaine
eating but it’s eating in an overacted way clearly meant to entertain and
disgust the viewer in equal parts and it makes me feel uncomfortable and
almost sick every time I see them and I feel like it’d probably be even
worse to actually watch than it is to quickly scroll past it on my dash.

.
hashtag glee spoiler adjacent (kind of) for bls
hashtag mkp doesn’t watch tv

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kvotheunkvothe:

yellfang:

party-at-the-tardis:

shavingryansprivates:

why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying

the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians

ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague

it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died

and fucking died

humpty dumpty committed suicide

jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull

A BABY FELL OUT A TREE

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walkingthenarrowway:

rubbishputeloquently:

This speaks to me on a weird level that makes me want to sob a little.

woah.

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femdomstyle:

dare-master:

Belt Handcuffs

Step One: Thread the tail (non-buckle end) of the belt through the buckle. Pull it tight enough so that the resulting circle is sized accordingly to whatever you are cuffing. For the sake of this tutorial, we will call this circle the “cuff”.

Step Two: Loop the lose tail back through the belt buckle’s square frame, creating an infinity symbol, or a figure eight ( 8 ). Again, size the “cuff”, by pulling on the tail, to an appropriate size similar to that of the first “cuff”.

Step Three: Bring the tail around and slide it through the belt loop while making sure not to alter the size of the cuff it should now be encircling.

Step Four: Take the tail and slide it through the square belt buckle frame. It should be parallel to the other segment of belt you slid through in step two

Step Five: If your belt if large, simply repeat steps three and four until all of the tail slack has been used up. Alternately, you may use the extra slack to fasten the newly made handcuffs to some other object. To tighten the handcuffs simply pull on the slack while making sure the individual cuffs remain in shape. And that’s it! you have successfully made your very own pair of belt-handcuffs

All credits to original author 

Visit here for more DIY instruction

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
thetimesinbetween:

shamelesslymkp:

what episode is it where Blaine has his freshman fifteen freakout? how
important is that episode overall as a thing to be watched?

my two hangups about watching the rest of season five (besides just general
inertia) are a) is this even worth it if…

what i’m getting here is that yes i should watch it and yes it’s going to be just as upsetting as you thought and then some (they fight because of blaine’s eating???)

glee why did you do this it isn’t funny it’s uncomfortable and upsetting and i’m going to have a meltdown over eating when i’m already so grotesquely fat, i can already tell.

*headdesks*

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
arrowsforpens:

why does retail therapy have to be so expensive

like come on capitalism why you gotta be like that

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…you know, it occurs to me I am probably overly prone to reading shit
into things because for as blunt and straightforward as my mother is she is
also fucking amazing at passive-aggressive shit.

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toothbrushdiaries:

octemberfirst:

abqandnotu:

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR” 

oh my god yes

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
…ordered food 40 minutes ago. turned phone on and started charging it to
make sure i would get call.
5 minutes ago realized that phone was connected to wifi but NOT mobile
network.
*facepalm*
blackberry. in what universe does that make sense.

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official-sebastian-strider:

fairysharkmother:

MOMMA WILL GIVE ADVICE.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: MENSTRUATING DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SICK. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE DIRTY.

First of all, do not go swimming in the ocean to look for Momma. 
Momma will be right here.
Momma suggests that at first sign of blood, take tylenol. If you are super in tune with your body, take it when you estimate it will start soon!

Momma knows EXACTLY what to do for cramps. Eating cranberries or drinking their juice is a wonderful way to get rid of cramps.
Another way to help with the pain is to rest on your bed like in the picture, butt in the air and head on the ground. Also, if you do not like pads OR tampons, there are more solutions!

There is the softcup!
And the mooncup!

They are very similar to one another. They are basically soft, silicone cups that go up into your lady cave that collect the blood.The softcup is a bit more expensive.
Also, Momma says that if you want to have sex and not have gushing everywhere, you can use a softcup!
The mooncup is a lot like the softcup, but it is reusable. Momma will remind you that you MUST disinfect it in boiling water. 
You can even use natural sea sponge like a tampon! 
Momma says it’s okay. 
There are also cotton reusable pads!

Momma is also thinking of you men that have periods, too!There is a special kind of boxers that you can buy with a special pocket for sanitary products! It also comes with a bulge.

The most important thing to do, menstruating or not, is to love and respect yourself. Do not feel ashamed, and get through it as well as you can!

Momma loves you!

bless u momma ;u;

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realgrimshady:

hey so fun fact masturbation is completely normal and healthy and important to your sexual development especially as a teenager and not at all “gross” and if you think so you need to move out of the 1800s 

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sweetlittlewallflower:

“A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.” ― Roald Dahl

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The habits that persist after a childhood with Steve. (It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.)!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, rating:generalaudiences, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes.&.steve.rogers, ~author:potofsoup, note:drabble/ficlet, heartbreaking, genre:gen, note:series, series/universe:marvel:bodymemories, warning:brainwashing/mindfuckery, genre:five-times/five-things, awesome

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