Oct. 27th, 2014

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i want you to want me // cheap trick

i want you to want mei need you to need mei’d love you to love mei’m begging you to beg me

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He makes me feel so connected, and so safe and loved. I don’t think I’m ever going to find someone else who is going to make me feel like that.

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By hungrymonstersdarling and likearumchocolatesouffle
Summary: Kurt, Blaine, and Adam do a scene in which Blaine pretends to be a dog, and Kurt and Adam his owners. Humping is Not Allowed, but Kurt can’t resist indulging Blaine a little.
Wordcount: ~2200
Warnings: Puppy play, kink, sex, desperation, polyamory, discipline, one light swat with a newspaper
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine/Adam

Blaine looked up from where he was curled on his blanket as Kurt and Adam entered the room. He had a collar on around his neck and some leather paws on his hands, and he had a black butt plug tail that wobbled as he moved. He got up into a kneel with his hands on the floor, and he thrilled at the feeling of being so naked and visible as he sat up and revealed his already desperately hard cock. He tilted his head and tried to look as dog-like as possible.

“How was dance class today?” Adam asked around a mouthful of cookie, taking a seat on the couch.

“Pretty good.” Kurt answered, feeding Blaine a bite of one of his cookies as he sat beside Adam. “I still need to work more on my pirouettes, and my quads are going to pay for the extra work I did, but it was alright.” Blaine licked Kurt’s fingers happily.

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Oooh! likearumchocolatesouffle and I wrote a thing! :D

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Cognitive Restructuring for Anxiety

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Blaine Anderson + Text Posts

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text post memes aren’t a thing anymore are they (cap credit to x)

(part 2 here)

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before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that

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these words // natasha bedingfield

there’s no other wayto better sayi love you, i love you

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you are more important to me than anything

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"My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit"
— Flavia Dzodan 

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Zoya Marley; Rhinestones from the Born Pretty store.  Use the code DPX31 for a 10% discount.  Rhinestones are such a great, inexpensive way to jazz up a mani.  

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I’ve written about network notes on this blog before, specifically that I don’t find them to be as evil as they are made out to be. But what I have noticed, having gone through the development process a few times now, is that most of the notes you get on a pilot are about exposition and a crazy amount of detail that almost no one will notice.  And while I agree that it’s important for the audience to understand who your characters are and why they’re doing what they’re doing, I feel as though audiences these days are really intelligent, and you don’t need to spoon feed them.  You just have to make sure you get to compelling stuff as quickly as possible.  It’s sort of like the structure of porn.  So then I started wondering if porn scripts got notes and then I got excited to write a fictional notes call between a porn screenwriter and porn executives.  Enjoy.

After five minutes of the writers waiting on the conference call, a few porn executives come on the line.

EXEC 1: Hey guys, really love the script. Thought you did a great job. Loved the plumber, thought when ge came on the housewives face it was totally earned.

WRITER 1: Awesome. So glad you liked it.

EXEC 2: We just have a couple little things. 

WRITER 2: No problem.

EXEC 1: Again, love the plumber, but at the start when he comes to the door, you say he “unzips his fly and let’s his cock fall out.”

WRITER 1: Yeah, because the housewife can’t afford to pay for the work he’s done, so he takes his cock out so that she’ll know she can pay him through sex.

EXEC 1: No, we totally get that, and we love it, but does that mean he’s not wearing underwear if he can just unzip his pants and his cock will fall out?

WRITER 2: Yeah, I mean we just figured he’s not wearing underwear.

EXEC 1: Okay, well, if you want to keep that, then I think we need to explain it, because most people wear underwear.  Like, maybe we see a scene before he comes to the house where he gets dressed and he says to a friend that he’s not going to wear underwear because he’s sure he’s going to get to have sex with this housewife.

WRITER 1: I don’t know, my instinct is to get to the part where he fucks her as soon as possible.

EXEC 2: No, you’re right.  Maybe just when he comes to the door you have him say something like, and this is a bad pitch, but, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be able to pay for the work I did on your toilet so I didn’t wear any underwear in anticipation of that.”

WRITER 2: We’ll take a look at that and see what we can do.

EXEC 1: Great. Again, we love this.  The next thing was just, right before he puts his cock inside her vagina, I think the audience needs to know it’s hard.

WRITER 1: Can’t they just see that it’s hard?  I mean, if it wasn’t hard, he wouldn’t be able to put it inside her.  I feel like the audience gets that.

EXEC 2: Maybe, but we really feel like it wouldn’t hurt for him to just say “My cock is so hard right now” and then put it in her.

WRITER 1: But he says his cock is so hard like five or six times while they’re having sex.  

EXEC 1: I know. I just know when I was reading it, I was thinking “Was his cock hard before he put it in her vagina?” I don’t think it can hurt to be clear so that people know he didn’t put a semi-hard or even soft cock in her.

Silence, as the writers are clearly annoyed.

EXEC 2: Moving on.  On page six she screams that her pussy is so wet.  Can we clarify?  Is her pussy wetter than it normally is, or is it just as wet as it usually gets?

WRITER 2: I mean, the intent was that she’s saying it’s wetter than it normally gets.

EXEC 1: Great! We love that! I think we just need to hear her say that. 


EXEC 2: Last thing, we love that he cums on her face.

EXEC 1: Love it. We thought that was really, really great stuff.

EXEC 2: But then afterwards in the script you just say “As he rubs the cum on her face with his cock, we fade out.”

WRITER 1: I mean, that seemed like a logical ending point.

EXEC 1: But are they square with the payment for fixing her toilet, or is he still expecting payment?

WRITER 2: No, that’s the payment.

EXEC 2: Then I think we need to say that. It’s not clear.

WRITER 1: I really think people will get that.

EXEC 1: I thought so at first, but then I had my wife read the script last night and that was the first question she asked. I think it’s an easy fix. Just add a line at the end where cums on her face and then he says, this is just a bad pitch, but something like ‘Now that I’ve cum on your face we’re even for the work on your toilet I’ve done.”

Ten seconds of silence, then:

WRITER 2: Anything else?

EXEC 1: That’s it! Oh, actually, just one last little thing.  Does he have to be a plumber?

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Ichabod Crane vs. The 21st Century

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before he cheats // carrie underwood

i took a louisville slugger to both headlightsslashed a hole in all four tiresmaybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

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Lovingly Based on this Disney Meme. Bold the films you’ve seen!

Organized by studio as best I could. Asterisks indicate a direct-to-video release. Double asterisks indicate a TV special or made-for-tv movie. Not all movies have years because ye gods I have spent way too much time on this already.

Additional Note: In the interest of not being crazy crazy crazy detailed, I have not included franchises based on television shows or comics such as the animated Marvel films or various Scooby Doo features. I created my (admittedly biased toward my own childhood) list based on a) theatrical release or relation to a theatrical release and/or b) a general impression of widespread distribution. I included Jim Henson films, even those without animation, because I feel that puppetry is SPIRITUALLY akin to it at least and that the list would not be complete without it.


An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
An American Tail: The Mystery of the Night Monster*
An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island*Balto


Bee Movie (2007)Chicken Run (2000)
Despicable Me 2Flushed Away (2006)How To Train Your DragonHow To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)Kung Fu Panda
Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)Madagascar
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (2012)
Megamind (2010)Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
Mr. Peabody & Sherman
Over the Hedge
Penguins of Madagascar (2014)
Puss in Boots
Rise of the Guardians (2012)Shark Tale (2004)Shrek (2001)Shrek 2
Shrek the Third
Shrek Forever AfterSinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003)
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002)
The Croods (2013)The Prince of Egypt (1998)The Road to El Dorado (2000)
Turbo (2013)
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)


Anastasia (1997)Bartock the Magnificent*Epic (2013)Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)Ferngully: The Last RainforestFerngully 2: The Magical Rescue*Horton Hears a Who! (2008)Ice Age (2002)Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)Robots (2005)Rio (2011)Rio 2 (2014)The PagemasterTitan A.E.


The Brave Little Toaster (1987, with Disney and ITC Entertainment)The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars (1998)*The Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue (1997)*


Despicable Me (2010)The Lorax (2012)


A Christmas Carol (2009, with Disney)Mars Needs Moms (2011, with Disney)Monster House (2006, with Columbia Pictures and Amblin Entertainment)The Polar Express (2004, with Warner Bros.)


HoodwinkedHoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011)


Coraline (2009)
ParaNorman (2012)
The Boxtrolls (2014)


All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 (1996)*Igor (2008, with Exodus Film Group)The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998)*


Babar: King of the Elephants (1999)Babar: The Movie (1989)Pippi Longstocking (1997)


The Swan Princess
The Swan Princess II: Escape from Castle Mountain* 
The Swan Princess III: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom*
The Swan Princess Christmas*
The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale*


Charlotte’s Web (2006)Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)
Rango (2011)


Mad Monster Party (1967)Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July (1979)Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)**The Daydreamer (1966)*The Hobbit (1977)**The King and I (1999, with Morgan Creek Productions and Nest Entertainment)The Flight of Dragons (1982)**The Last Unicorn (1982)The Return of the King (1980)**The Wacky World of Mother Goose (1967)The Wind in the Willows (1987)**Willy McBean and his Magic Machine (1965)


Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)


Arthur Christmas (2011)Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)Hotel Transylvania (2012)Open Season (2008)Open Season 2 (2009)*Open Season 3 (2011)*Surf’s Up (2007)The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012)The Smurfs (2011)The Smurfs 2 (2013)


Arrietty (2010)Castle in the Sky (1986)From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)Grave of the Fireflies (1988)Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)My Neighbor TotoroNausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984, produced and released before the studio’s official founding)Only Yesterday (1991)Princess Mononoke (1997)My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999)Pom Poko (1994)Ponyo (2008)Porco Rosso (1992)Spirited Away (2001)Tales from Earthsea (2006)The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013)The Cat Returns (2002)The Wind Rises (2013)When Marnie Was There (2014)Whisper of the Heart (1995)


All Dogs Go to HeavenAn American TailA Troll in Central ParkRock-a-DoodleThe Land Before TimeThe Pebble and the Penguin (1995)The Secret of NIMH (1982)Thumbelina


Kermit’s Swamp Years (2002, with TriStar Home Entertainment)*Labyrinth (1986, with Lucasfilm)MirrorMask (2005)Muppets from Space (1999, with Columbia Pictures)Muppet Treasure Island (1996, with Walt Disney Pictures)The Cube (1969)The Dark Crystal (1982)The Great Muppet Caper (1981)The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992, with Walt Disney Pictures)The Muppet Movie (1979)The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984, with TriStar Pictures)The Witches (1990, with Warner Bros. and Lorimar Film Entertainment)Time Piece (1965)


A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (2008)*Lady Gaga and the Muppets’ Holiday Spectacular (2013)*Midship Detective Agency (2012)Muppets Most Wanted (2014)The Muppets (2011)The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz (2005)*


Arthur and the Invisibles (2007)


Frankenweenie (2012)


The Nightmare Before Chrismas (1993)


Balto II: Wolf Quest (2002)*Balto III: Wings of Change (2005)*Charlotte’s Web 2: Wilbur’s Great Adventure (2003, also Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies)*Curious George (2006)Curious George 2: Follow That Monkey! (2010)*The Tale of Despereaux (2008)The Little Engine That Could (2011)*We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story (1993)

The Land Before Time 2: The Great Valley Adventure (1994)*The Land Before Time 3: The Time of the Great Giving (1995)*The Land Before Time 4: Journey Through the Mists (1996)*The Land Before Time 5: The Mysterious Island (1997)*The Land Before Time 6: The Secret of Saurus Rock (1998)*The Land Before Time 7: The Stone of Cold Fire (2000)*The Land Before Time 8: The Big Freeze (2001)*The Land Before Time 9: Journey to Big Water (2002)*The Land Before Time 10: The Great Longneck Migration (2003)*The Land Before Time 11: Invasion of the Tinysauruses (2005)*The Land Before Time 12: The Great Day of the Flyers (2006)*The Land Before Time 13: The Wisdom of Friends (2007)*


Corpse Bride (2005)
Dolphin Tale (2011, with Alcon Entertainment)
Happy Feet (2006)Happy Feet Two (2011)Kangaroo Jack: G’Day U.S.A.! (2004)*Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)¡Mucha Lucha!: The Return of El Maléfico (2004)*Osmosis Jones (2001)
Quest for Camelot (1998)
Space Jam (1996)
The Iron Giant (1999)The Lego Movie (2014)Wakko’s Wish (1999, with Amblin Entertainment)*Where the Wild Things Are (2009, with Legendary Pictures, Village Roadshow Pictures, and Playtone)

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101 Dalmatians (1961)Alice in Wonderland (1951)Bambi (1942)Cinderella (1950)Dumbo (1941) Fantasia (1940)Lady and the Tramp (1955)Mary Poppins (1964)Peter Pan (1953)Pinocchio (1940)Sleeping Beauty (1959)Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Song of the South (1946)


The Aristocats (1970)Bedknobs & Broomsticks (1971)The Black Cauldron (1985)The Fox and the Hound (1981)The Great Mouse Detective (1986)The Jungle Book (1967)The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)Oliver and Company (1986)Pete’s Dragon (1977)The Rescuers (1977)Robin Hood (1973)The Sword In The Stone (1963)


Aladdin (1992)Beauty and the Beast (1991)A Goofy Movie (1995) James and the Giant Peach (1996)     Hercules (1997)The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)The Lion King (1994)The Little Mermaid (1989)Mulan (1998)Pocahontas (1995)The Rescuers Down Under (1990)Tarzan (1999)


Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)Bolt (2008)
Brother Bear (2003) Chicken Little (2005)
Dinosaur (2000)The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) Enchanted (2007)
Fantasia 2000 (2000)
Home on the Range (2004)Lilo & Stitch (2002)Meet the Robinsons (2007)The Princess and the Frog (2009)Treasure Planet (2002)Tangled (2010)
Wreck it Ralph (2012)Frozen (2013) 


101 Dalmations 2: Patch’s London Adventure (2003)
102 DalmatiansAladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000)
Atlantis - Milo’s Return (2003)
Bambi II (2006)
Beauty and the Beast - Belle’s Magical World (1998)
Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas (1997)Cinderella II - Dreams Come True (2002)
Cinderella III - A Twist in Time (2007)
Kronk’s New Groove (2005)Lady & the Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure (2001)Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005)
Mulan 2 (2004)
Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World (1998)
Return to Never Land (2002)
Tarzan & Jane (2002)
Tarzan II (2005)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002)
The Jungle Book 2 (2003)
The Lion King 1 1/2 (2004)
The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride (1998)The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning (2008)The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000)The Return of Jafar (1994)


A Bug’s Life (1998)
Cars (2006)Finding Nemo (2003) The Incredibles (2004)Monsters Inc. (2001)
Monsters University (2013)Ratatouille (2007)Toy Story (1995)Toy Story 2 (1999)
Toy Story 3 (2010) Wall-E (2008)Up (2009)Brave (2012)

Continue the meme here for other studios!

Note: In the interest of not being crazy crazy crazy detailed, I have not included franchises based on television shows or comics such as the animated Marvel films or various Scooby Doo features. I created my (admittedly biased toward my own childhood) list based on a) theatrical release or relation to a theatrical release and/or b) a general impression of widespread distribution.

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no! bad mkp! this is not being productive!

in fact one might say it is the OPPOSITE of being productive!

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I’m so proud of myself, I looked at doctors and picked one and called the office and okay got an appointment with a completely different doctor but tbh i don’t even care AND I advocated for myself when they said the earliest appointment was november 10th and was like look I need a psych referral ASAP i just switched insurance my meds aren’t stable is there anyway to get me sooner and they did!

and it was not hard! it was harder thinking about doing it than actually doing it! (okay the trick i learned in the last year about using speaker phone for any stressful phone calls really really helps with this kind of thing, idk why but it does)

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how to actually get away with murder: be a white cop
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I wish i actually wore the fashion taste i have

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lol i wasted like three hours on that spinoff meme post why am i not surprised it is not actually meme-ing

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“Well… Didn’t know if I’d ever get to see my girl again,” he suddenly hears Bucky murmur softly from behind him. Startled, Steve spins around, feeling mortified. His cheeks blush, making the makeup on his cheeks stand out all the more prominently – and he suddenly wants to cry, because there’s Bucky, leaning against the door frame and looking Steve from head to toe with those warm grey eyes and… and all Steve wants to do is hide. Had he heard the front door open and was given a head’s up about his best friend being back home, he would’ve locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn’t have come out until everything had been scrubbed clean from his face and – maybe, hopefully – he could’ve put all the clothing away before Bucky had noticed. It’d seemed like a good idea at the time; now, Steve couldn’t regret it more.!fic, site:archiveofourown, fandom:captainamerica, rating:explicit, pairing:james.”bucky”.barnes/steve.rogers, ~author:ohcaptainmycaptain, genre:porn, kink:crossdressing, kink:genderfuck, theme:queer-themes, queer-theme:trans&genderqueer-themes

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