shamelessly_mkp: (Default)

Depression is hard to understand, because it is not a consistent state. Depression is rather like a virus, but like a virus, it has its manageable days and its acute, life-threatening flare-ups. You can be in a depression and still laugh at a friend’s joke or have a good night at dinner or manage low-level functioning. You grocery shop and stop to pet a puppy on the corner, talk to friends in a café, maybe write something you don’t hate. When this happens, you might examine your day for clues like reading tea leaves in a cup: Was it the egg for breakfast that made the difference? The three-mile run? You think, well, maybe this thing has moved on now. And you make no sudden moves for fear of attracting its abusive attention again.

But other times…

Other times, it’s as if a hole is opening inside you, wider and wider, pressing against your lungs, pushing your internal organs into unnatural places, and you cannot draw a true breath. You are breaking inside, slowly, and everything that keeps you tethered to your life, all of your normal responses, is being sucked through the hole like an airlock emptying into space. These are the times Holly Golightly called the Mean Reds.

I call it White Knuckling it.


Miles and Miles of No Man’s Land, Libba Bray (via babybirched)

"But the stigma of depression is that it comes with the sense that you shouldn’t have it to begin with. That it is self-indulgence or emotional incompetence rather than actual illness."

(via labioratory)

shamelessly_mkp: (Default)

I found these gifs I made a while back for a site that’s not running anymore, so I thought I’d post them here. It’s a description of psychiatric symptoms and states of mind using a pink box and some other stuff. 

Okay, so into-the-weeds pointed out this really could use an image description, and I’m not sure how good at that I’m going to be but I’m going to try, because this is a really useful depiction of symptoms, I think. Unfortunately, looks like you can’t use cuts on photo posts, so sorry about the length!

TEXT: If I called this my mind [referring to image 1]

IMAGE 1: 3-dimensional depiction of a box

TEXT: This would be dissociation [referring to image 2]

IMAGE 2: same box, but with an empty space where every intersection of lines should be, like it’s coming apart at the seams

TEXT: And this would be depression [referring to image 3]

IMAGE 3: 3-dimensional box, filled with blue/grey darkness

TEXT: Depersonalization [referring to image 4]

IMAGE 4: two boxes overlapping, one a pale echo/shadow of the other, like a ghost version of the first box is getting left behind

TEXT: Anxiety [referring to image 5]

IMAGE 5: Box filled with crazy blue scribbles, all contained but an angry pulsing mess

TEXT: And mania [referring to image 6]

IMAGE 6: Box with large, bold scribbles in different colors coming out of it at all angles, completely uncontained but all originating inside the box

TEXT: Apathy [referring to image 7]

IMAGE 7: 3-dimensional box unfolded into a 2-dimensional representation - four squares in a row crossing a row of three squares

TEXT: Fear [referring to image 8]

IMAGE 8: box with a person huddled inside a corner; the faces of the box are now all covered in bars, like a jail cell

TEXT: And hope [referring to image 9]

IMAGE 9: box, open on one end with the face having folded down to make an exit ramp; person standing at the end of the ramp, ready to face the world

shamelessly_mkp: (Default)


»># Your brain is a computer»># Depression is a computer virus, mangling data and messing up your input/output.»># It adds extra information to strings»> partner “She loves me”»> partner = partner + “, but she’s getting tired of me”»> partner'she loves me, but she's getting tired of me'»># It fucks up your math:»> x = 20»> def people_who_care_about_me (x)       return x»> people_who_care_about_me(x)20»> de: people_who_actually_(x)       return x-x»> people_who_actually_care(x)0»> people_who_care(x) = people_who_actually_care(x)»> people_who_care(x)0»># And it screws up how your system works.»>str (“everything will be ok. you are loved.”)syntax error: invalid syntax»># Depression impairs the functions of how you manage and cope:»> import pull_yourself_togetherTraceback (most recent call last):   File “”, line 1, in       import pull_yourself_togetherImportError: No module named ‘pull_yourself_together’»># but it leaves less useful information»>import getting_through_the_week»>dir (getting_through_the_week)[‘alone’,’apathy’,’crying’,’doubt’,’drinking’,’empty’,’frustration’,’hopeless’,’idiot’,’lethargy’,’moody’,’needy’,’powerless’,'restless','slow','stupid','tired','unlikeable','unlovable','useless','worthless']»># and it will screw up your resources»>import friendsImportError: No module named ‘friends’»>helpNameError: you cannot access help at this time.»>helpyou cannot access help at this time»>help(Link to source)

shamelessly_mkp: (Default)

My mental health nurse just sent me these and i thought they were worth sharing

shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
““Lack of motivation” is a generally misunderstood symptom of depression. It does not mean that I sit around thinking, “Oh, I’m so depressed; why bother to do shit I don’t want to do anyway.” It means not that I lack discipline, but that there is a mental disconnect between my conscious mind, which says I want or need to do X, and the part of my brain which actually initiates activity. It prevents me from doing things I would very much like to do, as well as things I need to do, rather than indicating simply a lack of interest in doing things which are not immediately rewarding.
If you want or need to go somewhere, whether somewhere you’re eagerly looking forward to going, or somewhere routine, or to the dentist for a root canal which you may be much averse to but have nevertheless decided will leave you better off in the long run, and you get in your car, turn the key in the ignition repeatedly, yet the engine sputters but does not engage, this is not an indication that you don’t really want to go anywhere. It’s an indication that something is wrong with the equipment you need to transport you there.
I am fully capable of sitting for hours, thinking periodically, “I need to pee,” then, “I really need to pee,” and eventually, “Damn, I need to pee,” before being able to jump start the part of my brain which engages with the task of getting up and walking the ten feet to the bathroom, and initiates the movement which allows me to do that.
The more complex the task, the harder it can be, because a more complex sequence of actions must be, in some sense, imagined and targeted before the actions necessary to bring them about can be initiated. Most people are unaware that this process even takes place, because in a healthy brain, it occurs swiftly and automatically. In my brain, it does not.”
- Maud, There’s Good News and Bad News.  (via creatingaquietmind, kiriamaya) (via sehnsuchttraum) (via ltleflrt) (via trilliath) (via hatteress) (via fictionalistic)
shamelessly_mkp: (Default)



Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
“Being a depressive is generally living in the Land of Suck, but you do have to learn one vital secret of life in order to survive: A thing can be emotionally true and factually a lie. Which is to say that I wake on certain mornings consumed by the idea that nobody in this world loves me, that everyone would be much happier if I drank the Drano, and that my funeral would be attended by no one. This is not how I feel; this is how things are, so much so that on three occasions I’ve actually tried to end my worthless life.
Then, slowly, I gather the facts around me: My wife is cuddled up next to me, evidently content. My phone contains texts from people who wanted to talk to me. My blog occasionally contains some nice comments.
And I think: Though I feel as though no one cares, the evidence around me suggests otherwise. And, gripping the facts like I would the rungs on a ladder, I haul myself back to reality.”
- Living By Evidence | Ferrett Steinmetz (via brutereason)
shamelessly_mkp: (Default)


kate you should post that points system thejunglenook gave you

i will personally award you points for doing so

but i think we could all use this because of reasons

and when i say we at this point in time yes i do mean i

Right so I was having a bad time and Shelly developed a points system. The guiding philosophy is to be as generous in awarding them as you need to be to get through the day, and have rewards for every 100 or whatever (mine is usually 10 minutes of Minecraft). More onerous tasks are worth more, of course. Some examples:

Wake up: 5pts. (Slept in? -20. Up early? bonus 40! and those stack every half hour.) Take meds, another 5. 

10pts each meal.

10-20 for morning toiletries, especially if you wash your hair.

Put on pants you didn’t wear to bed, 10. Another 10 for a whole outfit of real clothes.

10-20 points for each of the items on Unfuck Your Habitat’s Daily list.

Work out: 60

Check work email: 10, 5-20 for writing responses.

Attend a meeting: 20 

40-60 for whatever your work tasks are.

Go to bed at a reasonable hour: bonus 50 for the next day.

You get points for writing too: Review what you previously wrote, 10. Review notebook for ideas, 5. Add to notebook planning, 10. Tell [Shelly] how awesome this part is and laugh while she gets confused, 5. Actually write (per # words?), 50.

Point values are doubled when you feel shitty, quintupled if you’d rather be dead. But reward thresholds stay the same.



shamelessly_mkp: (Default)

November 2014

2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 171819202122


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 12:39 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios