shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
ENTJ: Your evil boss
ESTJ: Kid you've known since like 4th grade who is a perfect honors student with a billion friends and is awesome at sports and has a bunch of clubs and has never gotten less than an A in their life and your mom always asks why you can't be more like them
ISTJ: Computer nerd who knows way too much about space travel, might be currently building a time machine in their basement
INTJ: evil genius, probably walter white, scary
INTP: Quiet pretentious asshole
ENTP: Loud pretentious asshole
ESTP: obnoxious straight boy in gym class
ISTP: fucking crazy, also likes cars for some reason
ISFP: quiet dumbass
ESFP: loud dumbass
INFP: can be the sweetest angel but WILL turn into fuckin satan if you piss them off
INFJ: 24/7 martyr complex
ESFJ: 50's housewife and mom
ISFJ: needy perfectionist, wannabe INFJ
ENFP: best friend in any cliche teen movie
ENFJ: emotional spazz who always wants a hug
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adamantsteve:

"Guys, look, the only POSSIBLE WAY you can infiltrate this place is by pretending to be gay married. It’s the only way."

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yuukikaai:

everybody has that one memefriend. all memes remind you of them. i’m proposing the word “memefriend” to be a new relationship description. are you two dating? no, we’re just memefriends

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neil-gaiman:

kat-howard:

kadrey:

Since it’s NaNoWriMo, I thought I’d repost this helpful 4 Essential Elements You Need For A Good Story.

Oh, fuck it. I forgot the snake again.

That’s why I’m a bestselling writer. I NEVER FORGET MY BASIL.

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
freshprinceofbeleriand:

having sex is a lot like communism. each person gives and receives equally, you take turns reading from the communist manifesto, joseph stalin is there

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
disney: we're going to buy you
marvel: why
disney: so we can put "aint got no strings to hold me down" in the age of ultron trailer without copyright issues, trust me, it's gonna be so rad bro i swear
marvel: bro
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remyreaper:

amysfall:

we need a universal hand signal for “my parents don’t know about that”

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"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."

"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."

"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."

"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"

"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see."


- If you are not aware of the “Beauty by H.P. Lovecraft” Facebook page, you are missing the time of your life. 
(via baptismus-flaminis)
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clamperl:

what type of currency do they use in outer space

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“On average we have a homicide every week, so I cheer the kids up by throwing sick raves and letting them drink on campus. It’s the right thing to do.”
- Marcus McDonald, Principal, Beacon Hills High  (via citizensofbeaconhills)
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bookshop:

when i find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me, 
speaking words of wisdom:
here read this fake boyfriend AU

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softerworld:

A Softer World: 1155

(Alternately, puppies.)

buy this print • support our patreon

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
zwischendenstuehlen:

Well then, let me show you, because that’s what I do for a living.

Right now, it’s this time of the year, and the little ones have just freshly hatched:

You’ll notice they’re still blind and naked when they hatch. So I make them little coats to keep them warm during their first winter:

See how they happily line up to put them on:

See? Better. Now they’re ready to go and explore the world.

And if they make it through the winter and we take good care of them, they will grow up to be strong and wise like their older fellows:

So, in case you were ever wondering, now you know.

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
artiestroke:

ynnuf:

You’ve been buttering your cats wrong this whole time.

Science side of tumblr strikes again

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