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shamelessly_mkpstartrekrenegades:
I think one of the narratives that fucked me up the most is the heart-eyes, instantaneous, smacks-you-upside-the-head, “I was never sexually attracted to/interested in sex with anyone until the moment I met you” trope.
It’s a device used to underscore the inevitability or necessity of sexuality in close relationships, it outright erases asexual and nonsexual people and it invalidates any meaningful friendships/romances they might have.
The idea that truly loving someone means becoming interested in them sexually is toxic and destructive. It leads to a constant barrage of “maybe you haven’t met The Right Person yet!” and a deeply-embedded fear that if someone doesn’t adhere to a standard sexual relationship model, they are inherently not good enough for their partners/friends, they are broken, and they will spend their lives alone because that magic switch didn’t suddenly flip to “sexual with sex drive!” upon meeting a significant person.
This also brainwashes sexuals into expecting asexual/nonsexual people to automatically change if they express interest or love for someone else. It can make those friends or partners wonder why they have failed to inspire sexual desire/attraction in the other person, when everything else seems to mesh well. It can lead to accusations: You must not really love me, then! I’m not good enough for you!
It is harmful to people on all sides of this equation. Do not accept this shitty, lazy trope… and for god’s sake, don’t write with it.
on the flip side, don’t forget about demisexuals and grey-a asexuals whom this can actually be kind of true for - but regardless, the point stands about the toxicity of this trope as currently employed by so many writers, so if you’re going to use this trope to give demisexual representation, use it with care.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/XMKeMp
I think one of the narratives that fucked me up the most is the heart-eyes, instantaneous, smacks-you-upside-the-head, “I was never sexually attracted to/interested in sex with anyone until the moment I met you” trope.
It’s a device used to underscore the inevitability or necessity of sexuality in close relationships, it outright erases asexual and nonsexual people and it invalidates any meaningful friendships/romances they might have.
The idea that truly loving someone means becoming interested in them sexually is toxic and destructive. It leads to a constant barrage of “maybe you haven’t met The Right Person yet!” and a deeply-embedded fear that if someone doesn’t adhere to a standard sexual relationship model, they are inherently not good enough for their partners/friends, they are broken, and they will spend their lives alone because that magic switch didn’t suddenly flip to “sexual with sex drive!” upon meeting a significant person.
This also brainwashes sexuals into expecting asexual/nonsexual people to automatically change if they express interest or love for someone else. It can make those friends or partners wonder why they have failed to inspire sexual desire/attraction in the other person, when everything else seems to mesh well. It can lead to accusations: You must not really love me, then! I’m not good enough for you!
It is harmful to people on all sides of this equation. Do not accept this shitty, lazy trope… and for god’s sake, don’t write with it.
on the flip side, don’t forget about demisexuals and grey-a asexuals whom this can actually be kind of true for - but regardless, the point stands about the toxicity of this trope as currently employed by so many writers, so if you’re going to use this trope to give demisexual representation, use it with care.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/XMKeMp
