shame is for other people

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adamantsteve:

"Guys, look, the only POSSIBLE WAY you can infiltrate this place is by pretending to be gay married. It’s the only way."

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neil-gaiman:

kat-howard:

kadrey:

Since it’s NaNoWriMo, I thought I’d repost this helpful 4 Essential Elements You Need For A Good Story.

Oh, fuck it. I forgot the snake again.

That’s why I’m a bestselling writer. I NEVER FORGET MY BASIL.

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disney: we're going to buy you
marvel: why
disney: so we can put "aint got no strings to hold me down" in the age of ultron trailer without copyright issues, trust me, it's gonna be so rad bro i swear
marvel: bro
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“

"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."

"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."

"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."

"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"

"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see."

”
- If you are not aware of the “Beauty by H.P. Lovecraft” Facebook page, you are missing the time of your life. 
(via baptismus-flaminis)
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“On average we have a homicide every week, so I cheer the kids up by throwing sick raves and letting them drink on campus. It’s the right thing to do.”
- Marcus McDonald, Principal, Beacon Hills High  (via citizensofbeaconhills)
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“Dammit, Hardison!”
- Ancient Proverb
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bookshop:

when i find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me, 
speaking words of wisdom:
here read this fake boyfriend AU

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zwischendenstuehlen:

Well then, let me show you, because that’s what I do for a living.

Right now, it’s this time of the year, and the little ones have just freshly hatched:

You’ll notice they’re still blind and naked when they hatch. So I make them little coats to keep them warm during their first winter:

See how they happily line up to put them on:

See? Better. Now they’re ready to go and explore the world.

And if they make it through the winter and we take good care of them, they will grow up to be strong and wise like their older fellows:

So, in case you were ever wondering, now you know.

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