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i’m not one to attempt to inhibit or impose myself upon he natural development and growth of memes on this website but i feel like there’s a very thin line that using ‘spiders georg’ for social commentary very very nearly crosses 

"social issues are best discussed via memes and memetic discussion" factoid actualy just statistical error. social issues are best discussed via nuanced conversation. Feminist Frank, who lives on Buzzfeed & uses the style and diction of cat callers to display feminist messages, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#Tumblr culture #that’s it that’s the whole thing (via @into-the-weeds)

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The Doctor confuses declarations of insanity with insults to his fashion sense.

the traumas of having worn a vegetable as an accessory. 

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i just really want a musical where theres one character who doesnt know how any of the songs go

 #The musical is any StarKid event #and the character is called Darren Criss

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breaking new comedic ground over at comedy central

What a #fun and #interesting joke that I have not heard before

get it. come here, listen to joke. so many relationship a lady have, but not a wedding among them. not one wedding. lady 25 fuckin years old, TWO THOUSAND man relationship for this lady, ZERO WED IDNG. does she eat them???. scary…….or scare-LARIOUS. Tune in to comedy central find out

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Beetles compromise 25% of all animal species. That means 1 in 4 animals is probably a beetle. Is it you? Is it your best friend? How can you be sure?

Ringo could be living in your backyard without you even knowing

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tumblr update here to deliver the ‘mom downloaded like seven toolbars and i cant get rid of them’ atmosphere to your dashboard

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*’let’s get it started’ plays in the background*

'wait but have u seen my ass'

'no you're mine'

'oh he not looking ok play cool'

'i watch you when you sleep' '…' '..and when you shower.'


more klaine reverse gifs here

#blessed are the gifmakers (via @lizinprogress)

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"We hope to create a whole new genre—comedy horror"

Ryan, everything you write falls in that genre

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the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.

but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party? 

"I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”

i am loving hipster shakespeare

This explains so much. Hipster Shakespeare drank too many experimental microbrews one night:
"Will, we need this bit done, buddy. We’ve got rehearsal in ten minutes."
"Shit, I dunno. Uh. Exit."
"Just… "Exit"?"
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
"Will, come on."
"I think I left my LUNGS in that bucket, Robbie, okay? Exit, pursued by a bear. It’s surrealism. Man versus wild. Whatever. Get me a Gatorade and a shit ton of Advil, and maybe I can work out what I’m going to do with the statue."

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John Oliver Destroys Pumpkin Spice Lattes, The ‘Coffee That Tastes Like A Candle’ 

It’s that time of year: Leaves are changing, Halloween decorations are on display, and cable knit sweaters are everywhere. But most importantly, the all-famous Pumpkin Spice Latte is back at your local Starbucks.

For his full rant on Pumpkin Spice Lattes go here. 

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Photographer Reveals the Lonely Side of Superheroes

Photographer Benoit Lapray’s photo series, “The Quest for Absolute" focuses on the loneliness of famous superheroes, set in the beautiful, yet desolate landscape of the French Alps.

The funny thing about this photoset—which is awesome, btw—is that most of these shots seem to really fit. Thor in the woods? Of course, it’s practically home. Batman’s hanging out in the mouth of the batcave, Superman probably flies out to gorgeous mountain vistas to be alone with his thoughts every other week, Iron Man probably flies past gorgeous mountain vistas while blaring rock music and avoiding his thoughts about as often—
And then there’s Spiderman. And Spiderman mostly looks like he just got done with a fight that unexpectedly stranded him in the middle of nowhere, and now he’s sitting by the side of the only dirt road for miles, waiting for the bus that comes once a day to take him back to the city. Hoping that they’ll excuse the fact that he doesn’t have enough change if he rides on the roof.
Which is pretty much just right for the character of Spiderman, so good job, photographer. Well done.

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We discovered where the Evil League of Evil eats lunch. It’s in Harlem.

 #He rides across the nation #the thoroughbread of sin #he got the online order that you just sent in! #It needs to be delivered so let the games begin #A heinous crust #a show of sauce #Extra cheese would be nice of course

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Says the guy from Ohio

His parents lived in Ohio. He lived in the moment.

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I’ve written about network notes on this blog before, specifically that I don’t find them to be as evil as they are made out to be. But what I have noticed, having gone through the development process a few times now, is that most of the notes you get on a pilot are about exposition and a crazy amount of detail that almost no one will notice.  And while I agree that it’s important for the audience to understand who your characters are and why they’re doing what they’re doing, I feel as though audiences these days are really intelligent, and you don’t need to spoon feed them.  You just have to make sure you get to compelling stuff as quickly as possible.  It’s sort of like the structure of porn.  So then I started wondering if porn scripts got notes and then I got excited to write a fictional notes call between a porn screenwriter and porn executives.  Enjoy.

After five minutes of the writers waiting on the conference call, a few porn executives come on the line.

EXEC 1: Hey guys, really love the script. Thought you did a great job. Loved the plumber, thought when ge came on the housewives face it was totally earned.

WRITER 1: Awesome. So glad you liked it.

EXEC 2: We just have a couple little things. 

WRITER 2: No problem.

EXEC 1: Again, love the plumber, but at the start when he comes to the door, you say he “unzips his fly and let’s his cock fall out.”

WRITER 1: Yeah, because the housewife can’t afford to pay for the work he’s done, so he takes his cock out so that she’ll know she can pay him through sex.

EXEC 1: No, we totally get that, and we love it, but does that mean he’s not wearing underwear if he can just unzip his pants and his cock will fall out?

WRITER 2: Yeah, I mean we just figured he’s not wearing underwear.

EXEC 1: Okay, well, if you want to keep that, then I think we need to explain it, because most people wear underwear.  Like, maybe we see a scene before he comes to the house where he gets dressed and he says to a friend that he’s not going to wear underwear because he’s sure he’s going to get to have sex with this housewife.

WRITER 1: I don’t know, my instinct is to get to the part where he fucks her as soon as possible.

EXEC 2: No, you’re right.  Maybe just when he comes to the door you have him say something like, and this is a bad pitch, but, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be able to pay for the work I did on your toilet so I didn’t wear any underwear in anticipation of that.”

WRITER 2: We’ll take a look at that and see what we can do.

EXEC 1: Great. Again, we love this.  The next thing was just, right before he puts his cock inside her vagina, I think the audience needs to know it’s hard.

WRITER 1: Can’t they just see that it’s hard?  I mean, if it wasn’t hard, he wouldn’t be able to put it inside her.  I feel like the audience gets that.

EXEC 2: Maybe, but we really feel like it wouldn’t hurt for him to just say “My cock is so hard right now” and then put it in her.

WRITER 1: But he says his cock is so hard like five or six times while they’re having sex.  

EXEC 1: I know. I just know when I was reading it, I was thinking “Was his cock hard before he put it in her vagina?” I don’t think it can hurt to be clear so that people know he didn’t put a semi-hard or even soft cock in her.

Silence, as the writers are clearly annoyed.

EXEC 2: Moving on.  On page six she screams that her pussy is so wet.  Can we clarify?  Is her pussy wetter than it normally is, or is it just as wet as it usually gets?

WRITER 2: I mean, the intent was that she’s saying it’s wetter than it normally gets.

EXEC 1: Great! We love that! I think we just need to hear her say that. 


EXEC 2: Last thing, we love that he cums on her face.

EXEC 1: Love it. We thought that was really, really great stuff.

EXEC 2: But then afterwards in the script you just say “As he rubs the cum on her face with his cock, we fade out.”

WRITER 1: I mean, that seemed like a logical ending point.

EXEC 1: But are they square with the payment for fixing her toilet, or is he still expecting payment?

WRITER 2: No, that’s the payment.

EXEC 2: Then I think we need to say that. It’s not clear.

WRITER 1: I really think people will get that.

EXEC 1: I thought so at first, but then I had my wife read the script last night and that was the first question she asked. I think it’s an easy fix. Just add a line at the end where cums on her face and then he says, this is just a bad pitch, but something like ‘Now that I’ve cum on your face we’re even for the work on your toilet I’ve done.”

Ten seconds of silence, then:

WRITER 2: Anything else?

EXEC 1: That’s it! Oh, actually, just one last little thing.  Does he have to be a plumber?


Ayn Rand

Oct. 20th, 2014 05:14 pm
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Ayn Rand goes up to the counter and allows her tall, handsome, brooding companion to order her espresso macchiato for her. “This establishment is the very epitome of capitalism, and for that we must recognize and applaud it,” he says. “The free market is victorious every time someone orders a coffee. Big business is the cornerstone on which America was destined to thrive.” They take their coffee to go, because they need to catch a train.



Oct. 20th, 2014 04:19 pm
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Hemingway goes up to the counter and orders one espresso. It’s hot. He drinks it in silence. It makes him remember his father’s cabin. He thinks about the woman he loved once. He does not smile. The coffee reminds him of war - short but painful, swallowed down quickly. One could order worse drinks. He leaves Starbucks and walks out into the rain.



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