![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shamelessly_mkpI had a lovely lunch with my mom today to celebrate her birthday (a week late) and it was for the most part wonderful and good but I still came away from it feeling a little awful about my self because she and my dad worry about me reading untrue shit on the internet and just taking it at face value and not being critical of it and you know, they’re probably right? they ~sound~ right. but so do the people who say that people just aren’t paying attention and that this is what has happened and what is happening.
I am so fucking persuadable and I hate it. I will tie myself up in knots trying to rationalize myself into agreeing with your opinion if I like you and care about you, because I feel like you’ll think I’m stupid or awful if I continue to disagree and there are very few things I am sure enough about to withstand that kind of internal pressure, but fuck if I will ever back down on those things because no okay human rights are not a matter of opinion they are objectively true needs that are not being met
and when it comes to other, less important things, well. there are very few people I can keep my opinion with and even then sometimes it can be hard to not just give in because I don’t want them mad at me or disappointed so I’m still trying to rationalize their opinion but am just managing to keep hold of my convictions anyway.
and like. I am pretty sure that being terrified of someone thinking worse of me because of my opinions on such varied things as gun control or the plot of iron man three is not actually normal or reasonable but I can’t help it okay I hate being wrong I hate being stupid I hate being a disappointment.
and the worst part is that even when I ~am~ firm in my beliefs/opinions, if you challenge me on them, put me on the spot, I can’t properly articulate them and it all comes out wrong and I can’t remember sources so I look like some gulliable idiot crackpot and it’s even worse when it’s a hot button issue and I get upset because then it gets even harder to say aything properly and so I just keep putting things badly or mixing up my words or even just breaking down into tears and god, that right there pretty much destroys any chance at credibility you might have had, okay?
just. argh.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1vm66uz
I am so fucking persuadable and I hate it. I will tie myself up in knots trying to rationalize myself into agreeing with your opinion if I like you and care about you, because I feel like you’ll think I’m stupid or awful if I continue to disagree and there are very few things I am sure enough about to withstand that kind of internal pressure, but fuck if I will ever back down on those things because no okay human rights are not a matter of opinion they are objectively true needs that are not being met
and when it comes to other, less important things, well. there are very few people I can keep my opinion with and even then sometimes it can be hard to not just give in because I don’t want them mad at me or disappointed so I’m still trying to rationalize their opinion but am just managing to keep hold of my convictions anyway.
and like. I am pretty sure that being terrified of someone thinking worse of me because of my opinions on such varied things as gun control or the plot of iron man three is not actually normal or reasonable but I can’t help it okay I hate being wrong I hate being stupid I hate being a disappointment.
and the worst part is that even when I ~am~ firm in my beliefs/opinions, if you challenge me on them, put me on the spot, I can’t properly articulate them and it all comes out wrong and I can’t remember sources so I look like some gulliable idiot crackpot and it’s even worse when it’s a hot button issue and I get upset because then it gets even harder to say aything properly and so I just keep putting things badly or mixing up my words or even just breaking down into tears and god, that right there pretty much destroys any chance at credibility you might have had, okay?
just. argh.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1vm66uz
