TIMES YOU MOTHERFUCKER HOW DO YOU TALENT JFC I HATE YOU
WARNING: TSIS SPOILERS LIE HEREIN BUT BEFORE I EVEN GET INTO THAT PROPER I
FIRST WANT TO ADDRESS TIMES’ FINAL A/N:
*For someone who thinks of herself as a writer, having my best work be a
> porn epic is strange to say the least. (TSIS also very: Is it comedic? Is
> it dramatic?, which has been super fun, but, you know, also strange.) *
TSIS *is* a porn epic, but it’s so much more than that. It’s one of the
best depictions of consensual kink I’ve ever seen, and is definitely the
best and realest portrayal of how bondage feels that I’ve ever read, which
means a lot to me as a kinkster. It *is* strange, how it’s both comedy and
drama (and porn) all at once - for me, it kept the best hilarity and
ridiculousness of glee-the-show alive while still giving me the depth and
emotion of glee fic, which is a narrow line very few fics manage to walk
this well. (note that I am not complaining about that - I like my
ridiculous glee-the-show portrayal type fics and my pwp porn fics and my
amazingly deep and feels-inducing fics as much as the next fandomer and
maybe moreso than some, but it’s a rarity to see such a balance and I think
times deserves to be congratulated on it.)
AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO
A VERY LONG LIST OF STUFF ABOUT TSIS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BUT DIVIDED
INTO CATEGORIES, IN PART BECAUSE I WANTED AN EXCUSE TO MAKE SEMI-CLEVER
HEADINGS AND CRACK MYSELF UP.
BABY YOU CAN PLOT MY NARRATIVE ANYTIME (BEST PLOT POINTS)
- blaine being a BRO
- how blaine’s experiences (e.g., sadie hawkins bashing) lent themselves
to and colored his reluctance to share his sexual life with the bros
- the fucking brilliantly consensual and realistic d/s shenanigans going
on
- Mike getting how fucked up what the bros were doing was
- bringing back the “they can’t touch us or what we have” line not once
but several times
- QUEER SOLIDARITY
- how you used the cockblocking bros as a way to drive up the sexual
tension and amp up the kink factor like whoa
GODDESS PLEASE I’M ON MY KNEES (THE HOTTEST OF THE HOT)
MOTHERFUCKING SLUT SHAMING OH MY GOD
- blaine’s oral sex flashback and the later throat fucking jfc KURT
JERKING HIMSELF OFF THROUGH BLAINE’S THROAT
- making blaine clench down on the plug holy fuck
- that goddamn hickey on blaine’s inner thigh and kurt just making him
put himself back together and being so sweet about it and still so cruel oh
my god yes practical reasons but also orgasm denial unf perf
- HE LIKES BEING KURT’S GOOD BOY AND ALSO HIS LITTLE MINX
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (MOST CAUSING OF FEELS)
- blaine being sick when they found out about the violation of their
privacy (like i’d kept thinking while waiting for the next part that I’D be
viscerally ill if that happened to me and that blaine would be and then he
WAS) and kurt shaking and the sense of shame blaine had even though he
tried to pretend he didn’t because god i related so much and the way kurt
was so quietly ‘they saw me without my clothes on’ and it was so
understated but so heartbreaking in its message of how violated he felt
- the rope bondage from blaine’s POV, because god that’s exactly how it
feels and i am really fucking impressed you wrote it that amazingly well
without having ever been tied up
- kurt safewording because god yes having your sub go nonverbal on you
would be terrifying and especially because it wasn’t even an
in-the-heat-of-the-moment type safeword - kurt paused, took stock of his
own discomfort, and made a reasoned decision that he wasn’t in a safe place
to continue playing like they were. like not only was it good for kurt
himself it was the RESPONSIBLE thing to do
- the political makeout - you only alluded a little to the scary
parallels to “raping you straight” but the FEEL of it was there and lent
poignancy to the sexy politicalness
- how mike waking up and going WTF kind of also snapped the READER out
of it because even we’d been drawn into what the bros were doing and
although we did realize it was a violation it didn’t quite become REAL
until mike woke up and made it real
FUCK YOU HOW DO YOU TALENT (THE CHERRIES ON TOP)
puck and finn’s voices, oh my god
- “Blaine! My main man. Blaine, you love cock, and therefore jizz, don’t
you?” Blaine is frozen, but he feels his face heating up. “So you have the
final word on this shit. Am I right, Finnocence?” Finn, also looking
somewhat horrified (or confused? Blaine has trouble distinguishing Finn’s
few facial expressions), gives Puck a blank stare. “Unless you got
something to tell us, buddy?” Puck nudges Finn, who shakes his head
automatically. “Good. Finn remains in the clutches of Berry’s microscopic
tits. No surprise there.” He turns back to Blaine with gusto. “So. We turn
to you, newest bro. Andergay. Amigo. Sucker of cock. Help a brother out.”
- Point in case: “As the resident sex guru, Hummel, it is my
responsibility to ask: are you tapping that?” // Kurt’s quick stride
loses its rhythm for a moment, but he recovers. “…What.” //“Have you
sucked my bro Blaine’s dick yet? Taken the chocolate speedway? Do you sa—”
// Kurt comes to a full stop and faces Puck. “Stop. Shut. Up. Don’t ask.
It’s none of your business.”
- “I’m still not over it,” Sam finally says. “All this time I’d been
imagining them, like, crafting or something in there.” Finn nods. Kurt
owns, like, a *lot* of glitter. Also a bedazzler. “I thought they had
some sort of full-body-no-touching rule going on.”
- Finn sighs the sigh of the long-suffering. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, it
is enough blackmail for forev—oh god that’s a penis.”
SANTANA’S voice
- When Kurt and Blaine try to thank Santana, she rolls her eyes and
says, “Queer is pretty much my third nationality. Got to stick together.”
But a smile sneaks out before she turns away.
- “*HEY*!” Santana’s voice bursts through the locked door. “If you can
get your hands out of each other’s pants for *dos segundos, *some of us
have to pee! And by some of us, I mean all seven of us!”
- “Oh, Ladyface, Andergay, we have a four hour road trip back to Lima
before you can escape me. We’re gonna talk about *sleeping positions* as
much as Auntie Tana likes.”
- “Ooooooh, why?” Santana asks, her voice a touch raspier than usual.
She lounges back in Brittany’s lap, rocking her hips a little. “You want to
see me come, Quinnie?” She moans low, tilting her head back over Brittany’s
shoulder. Brittany grins and ducks her head to lick at Santana’s throat. “I
always knew you had a hidden dyke side,” Santana groans. “Could see it—”
she gasps and arches a little “—every time you bitched us out during
practice, fuck.” She’s breathing deeper now, legs spreading a little, hips
twisting, hands sliding up her own inner thighs—Kurt can’t really decide
whether to look away or not; Blaine licks his lips—but then it’s too late:
Santana grins wickedly at Quinn, then arches back hard with a sharp gasp,
head tipped over Brittany’s shoulder, hand coming up to tug at her own
hair. Her legs quiver. // Five seconds later she’s sitting up normally,
back to Brittany’s chest. “And that’s the only time any of these boys have
seen that,” she adds scornfully. As though faking an orgasm had been a
perfectly normal thing to do.
the little tidbits of backstory like blaine trying to come out to cooper
ohmygod i can see it happening COOPER YOU RIDICULOUS PERSON
THIS IS TOTALLY AN OBJECTIVE AND BALANCED REVIEW (SLIGHT AMOUNTS OF CONCRIT)
- occasionally word choice threw me out of the story - usually just
because an endearment used was one that kind of turns me off, like “little
boy”, but one in particular that stood out was the use of the word intoned
here:
“And what does my greedy boy have for me here?” Kurt intones, his lips
creeping higher on the inside of Blaine’s thigh. His free hand skims along
the hard bulge of Blaine’s cock. Blaine tries to press harder into it, but
Kurt holds him down.
- i felt slightly disappointed by the fact that the story ended without
a resolution or a move toward a resolution of the damaged trust between the
bros and klaine, or at least between finn and klaine. I think it was
realistic enough to not have it, but it sort of niggled at me. I’d have
liked to see an actual apology, although as Kurt said, not right at the
beginning because it was way too soon to even try to think of possibly
forgiving them.
- I also would’ve liked to see more of blaine’s internal kinkshaming and
how it turned to truly being unashamed of himself and what they have
instead of just claiming to be, but that’s got more to do with my own
struggles in that department :P it felt a little jarring that kurt and
blaine were both suddenly so okay with putting on a show and I would’ve
liked to see more of a transition there - maybe some mentions of how blaine
started caring less if people saw the marks kurt left and how they both
started to kind of enjoy it? or a scene or so beforehand with one or more
of the bros around and kurt and blaine having mild PDA in front of them and
then viciously thinking fuck you you’ll never have this or something idk
- there was not enough of it you should write this ‘verse forever past
scenes future scenes sweet scenes porn scenes MOAR SCENES
hashtag mkp reads fic
hashtag nsfw i guess
hashtag kink for kate’s bls
hashtag i’ll add a read more later i promise
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