I guess I’ll give it another week on the upped

I guess I’ll give it another week on the upped dosage, but my gut feeling here is that I’m not getting better, not really, anyway.

I can focus and follow through on things if I actually start them, but it’s so hard to care enough to start on anything and I’m exhausted and headache-y all the time and just ugh.

I did get a lot of cleaning done yesterday and cooked dinner today, so there’s that? but I didn’t get any of the stuff I was supposed to get done today done, and I’m so tired I might just say ‘fuck it’ and leave it for after work tomorrow.

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moriahgemel: moriahgemel: Intro I would bet you anything that...

moriahgemel:

moriahgemel:

Intro

I would bet you anything that just those four letters together put a very vivid image in your mind. I bet it involves leather and metal and mostly naked bodies and maybe a wild nightclub. That’s what was in my head when I first started learning about it.

But I can tell you now with complete surety that that is only a tiny part of what BDSM is.

Let’s break it down. BDSM stands for three things—Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. That still sounds pretty scary, or at least overtly sexual, but I promise it’s not. Just bear with me.

The first thing I’d like you to realize is that every person has their own brain chemistry, and their own desires and their own ways that they get satisfaction, whether it’s sexual or emotional or mental. And yes, BDSM can provide satisfaction for all those things, and yes, I mean non-sexual things.

Bondage and Discipline. Domination and Submission. Sadism and Masochism. All these things have a psychological and neurological effect on a person. And it’s on a spectrum—the image in your head, with the leather and chains and whips? That’s at one end. But let’s look at the other end. Do you like when someone holds you tight, surrounds you with their body, keeps you warm and safe? That’s submission, and maybe even a little bondage. Do you like handling your finances, dealing with the household income and making sure you have things organized and you’re in charge of it? That’s dominance, and a certain amount of discipline. Like it when you’re being naughty, and your partner gives you a pinch, or a pat on the rear? That’s sadism and masochism, right there. But it’s the lowest level of it. At the higher levels, when people are aware and educated and deliberately acting upon these little desires in a bigger way, that’s BDSM.

And of course there’s a culture around it. A lot of people use leather, they use chains, they like whips. Leather is restrictive but comfortable. Chains are a great sensory stimulant and a symbol of physical bondage and there are plenty of reasons people use them. Whips provide a great deal of stimulation, and the pain from a well-used whip can be not only temporary and overall not damaging, but it can release all kinds of wonderful neurochemicals that can soothe someone and provide them with pleasure.

And while all those things are on that higher end of the spectrum, they’re providing the same sort of satisfaction, on a different level, that someone “vanilla” (not in the BDSM lifestyle; non-kinky) get from a good snuggle or a little control or a light spank. 

So now’s the time for research. If you’re interested in learning more about BDSM, or any of its little subsections (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/Masochism), I will be making posts in the near future about these topics. But you can also head over to PeterMastersWiki, which is a pretty good starter resource that can be used to springboard into more sources and information.

The Series:

Bondage & DisciplineDominance & SubmissionSadism & Masochism

Bringing back the informational series I wrote up on BDSM and what it means. I believe that it’s important to be educated, and so I wrote up a few posts with the basics of BDSM and what the terms mean. And now I’m bringing these posts back for my new followers and friends here.

Enjoy, and hopefully you can learn something!

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Dirk equius already has the name of "pony pals"

I prefer headless horseman, but ships often have many names. God help anyone who tries to blacklist DaveJade, for example. 

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Dirk equius already has the name of "pony pals"

I prefer headless horseman, but ships often have many names. God help anyone who tries to blacklist DaveJade, for example. 

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Dirk equius already has the name of "pony pals"

I prefer headless horseman, but ships often have many names. God help anyone who tries to blacklist DaveJade, for example. 

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ooohshinies: I Am A Lob-Star and I am stamped!

ooohshinies:

I Am A Lob-Star and I am stamped!

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ooohshinies: Blogger Inspired Mani: Chloe’s

ooohshinies:

Blogger Inspired Mani: Chloe’s Nails

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sentimentisfoundinthewinchesters: you don’t

sentimentisfoundinthewinchesters:

you don’t choose who you ship, it just comes naturally without you realising, and before you know it you’re a crying mess on the floor.

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oregonfairy:wildeles: Baby elephant drinking. When they are...

oregonfairy:wildeles:

Baby elephant drinking. When they are this young, they don’t yet know how to use their trunks to drink water.

so it just suBMERGED ITS FACE THAT IS SO PRECIOUS

psst persephonesidekick

…possibly again. but this is so adorable it deserves re-reblogging.

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Giveaway!

shamelesslymkp:

moriahgemel:

I want to thank my followers here on my professional blog! So I’m giving away a little bit of swag in honor of my 100th follower.

First…the rules:

You MUST be following me!

You must be over 18 years of age.

Only reblogs count! But reblog as many times as you like.

The giveaway ends the day of the release of Load the Dice (September 9)

I’ll ship anywhere worldwide!

So what will you get?

Fuzzy handcuffs! For the furthering of your naughty play (or as a novelty item).

A hand-drawn doodle by my 2 year old son.

A handwritten message from me.

Various little knick knacks and doo dads, which I will select once you have won, basing them on your blog.

A signed copy of my upcoming novel, Load the Dice*

And that’s it! Get reblogging!

(*You will have to wait for the physical copy to be published at the end of its serial run. You can choose if you’ll receive the other prizes at that time, or as soon as available.)

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because-you-are-mine: myinnerdomme: sexslavetoy3468:

because-you-are-mine:

myinnerdomme:

sexslavetoy3468:

I’ll see a lot of these 😳

I am totally stealing these! 

These are awesome!

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Buffy: Is that why you’re always cleaning

Buffy: Is that why you’re always cleaning your glasses? So you won’t have to see what we’re doing?Giles: Tell no one.

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Giveaway!

shamelesslymkp:

moriahgemel:

I want to thank my followers here on my professional blog! So I’m giving away a little bit of swag in honor of my 100th follower.

First…the rules:

You MUST be following me!

You must be over 18 years of age.

Only reblogs count! But reblog as many times as you like.

The giveaway ends the day of the release of Load the Dice (September 9)

I’ll ship anywhere worldwide!

So what will you get?

Fuzzy handcuffs! For the furthering of your naughty play (or as a novelty item).

A hand-drawn doodle by my 2 year old son.

A handwritten message from me.

Various little knick knacks and doo dads, which I will select once you have won, basing them on your blog.

A signed copy of my upcoming novel, Load the Dice*

And that’s it! Get reblogging!

(*You will have to wait for the physical copy to be published at the end of its serial run. You can choose if you’ll receive the other prizes at that time, or as soon as available.)

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i s2g i used to be better at like, eating regularly i always kind of sucked at the sleeping...

i s2g i used to be better at like, eating regularly

i always kind of sucked at the sleeping thing

but i don’t remember having nearly this much trouble with bothering to get
food together when i was in college or living at home

granted

if all else failed, my parents usually made dinner

and there were campus dining places open most of the time

but still&

i’ve had food headaches before but not until the last year have i had the
‘so hungry i don’t feel hungry but instead nauseous’ feeling and the
general ‘headachy tired bad’ feeling that sometimes shows up when my tummy
is only a little bit rumbly.

adulthood \o/

hashtag mkp is allegedly a grownup

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let's play a game

it’s called ‘am i dizzy and headachy from having not eaten in seven hours
or from having not slept in over twenty four’

hashtag mkp whines a lot
hashtag mkp is allegedly a grownup

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msmeiriona: HEY FOLLOWERS: HAVE YOU EATEN RECENTLY? ARE YOU HYDRATED? IS THERE MEDICATION YOU NEED..

msmeiriona:

HEY FOLLOWERS:

HAVE YOU EATEN RECENTLY?

ARE YOU HYDRATED?

IS THERE MEDICATION YOU NEED TO TAKE?

HAVE YOU LAUGHED TODAY?

FRIENDLY REMINDER BECAUSE I KNOW I NEED THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.

ALSO HERE HAVE A KITTEN:

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sweetlittlewallflower: j-in-wonderland: lovely involuted.

sweetlittlewallflower:

j-in-wonderland:

lovely

involuted.

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star-anise: annekewrites: teaberryblue: sugarfey: Black Widow sends the message that girls...

star-anise:

annekewrites:

teaberryblue:

sugarfey:

Black Widow sends the message that girls should get what they want be looking good and manipulating people. Captain Marvel sends the message that girls should get what they want by stubbornly bulling through any obstacles.

Shut the fuck up about characters you clearly know nothing about.

Wait is this seriously a thing?

Carol teaches girls that you can be what you want and not let men take your identity from you.  Natasha teaches girls that if men take your identity from you, you can take it back.  Both are based on real female experience, neither is better or more important.  They are both sides of the same coin.

THANK YOU.

"if men take your identity from you, you can take it back."

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Repost of my initial response to this post for transparency reasons, as I fucked the hell up....

Repost of my initial response to this post for transparency reasons, as I fucked the hell up. Original response deleted to prevent further derailing of the OP’s (very important) message.

original tags:

#trigger warning: #suicide/suicidal ideation #like whoa #seriously be careful #this could end up being wank #and i don’t want to start anything #but i couldn’t just let this go #even if i have a feeling that i’m going to feel guilty as fuck over feeling guilty and for sharing that and making shit about me when it’s not #a wild existentialist appears #being dead is not a life hack #bad brains blogging #obligatory disclaimer: mkp isn’t a POC / mkp isn’t trans / mkp isn’t disabled / mkp isn’t this religion

you know, this post makes a lot of really good points and brings up a really important issue, but I’m having trouble really supporting it because I spent a good twenty minutes crying and suicidal last night after reading it.

It’s very much true that if you are avoiding awareness and discussion of racial issues and situations like Ferguson just because they make you feel uncomfortable and guilty as a white person that you are making yourself more complicit in the system that’s brought these kind of injustices about and are prioritizing a discomfort of your own over someone else’s pain.

It’s also true though that some people - many people, probably - are so affected by feelings of guilt and helpless culpability that they become paralyzed and unable to react in any sort of useful fashion, and need to be able to take a step back in order to help at all, and that others can’t even do that because they will end up in serious pain and/or danger.

and the people like that - like me - 

well. we already feel guilty and complicit and selfish for trying to protect ourselves. we’ve almost certainly talked ourselves around and around in circles before finally managing to do anything about it. and to read something like this, when you’ve just gotten the emotional clarity that yes it is okay to put yourself and your state of mind first?

that just destroys everything you’ve just worked so hard to do. 

it doesn’t matter that this post is probably not meant to be talking to people like me who get into guilt spirals and routinely feel like they’re a terrible person and often get suicida because of it.

because we’re going to read it that way anyway.

we’re going to read it like this:

okay so i really am a terrible person trying to avoid culpability.

i don’t have the right to just not do the right thing and educate myself and actively work for betterness just because it’s overwhelming and exhausting and makes me want to cry and scratch my insides out, when there are people suffering the same kind of difficulties under much greater oppressions.

i don’t have the right to not feel like this

i deserve to feel like this

i deserve to want to die

i don’t deserve to be alive

and that’s not on the OP, or anyone else, really - it’s my brain that’s taking this post and interpreting it to mean that I am even more of a horrible person than I already suspescted I was and that if I were a better person I would put myself through wanting to die because other people are suffering way more. it’s my brain chemistry that’s fucking with me.

it’s entirely on me.

and it’s entirely on anyone else who reads this post and gets triggered the fuck out of it like I did.

but if you’re going to post something like this or reblog it, you ought to know that this is going to happen, whether you mean it to or not.

I’m also posting this to remind myself that it is okay to put myself first. I am allowed to be the most important thing in my world and I am allowed to be selfish and self-centered like that and that does not mean I am a terrible person and an abomination of a human being.

Even if I am complicit in systemic racism and ableism and all kinds of shit that hurts people, I have the right to be alive.

I have the right to not feel like I deserve to die.

and I have the right to do whatever the fuck I have to in order to make that happen.

originally posted 8/20/2014

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Fic: Appreciated

judearaya:

prompted by a lovely anon: some Klaine intergluteal sex with a dash of dirty talk thrown in. (~2k, NC-17). Written fast with no beta. 

“Hey!” Blaine smiles up from where he’s buried in homework at Kurt’s table.

“Mm, hi yourself,” Kurt murmurs, bending low to kiss him softly, then once behind his ear.

“What’s gotten into you?” Blaine asks. Kurt’s fingers have traveled over the slope of his shoulders.

“You seem awfully tense.” Kurt starts to knead the muscles. There’s a playful lilt to his voice.

Read More

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officialnatasharomanoff: girls don’t want boys

officialnatasharomanoff:

girls don’t want boys girls want deaf clint barton to be incorporated into the mcu

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Fandom-Related Questions

A: Your current OTP.
B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind.
C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't.
D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?
E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what?
F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it?
G: What was your first fandom?
H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows?
I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr.
K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s).
L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?
M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to.
N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over).
O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?
P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).
Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why.
R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships.
S: What's a headcanon you have?
T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships?
U: What are your favorite male/female ships?
V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what?
W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms.
X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms.
Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from.
Z: What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it?
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arrowsforpens asked: B, M, Y B: a pairing you

arrowsforpens asked: B, M, Y

B: a pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind.

oh god, Kate, this is not a question you in particular want to be asking me so many pairings so many fucked up pairings AHEM but besides all of the o.O ones that I read because of excellent authors and then got hooked on, I guess Emma/Regina (OuaT).

did not see that coming, but oh my god am I a sucker for co-parenting and accidental domesticity

M: a person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to.

well. it depends on how you define being in a fandom. I’ve been immersed in multiple fandoms for over a decade now, but glee’s really the first one I’d actually consider myself actively a member of the fandom.

as far as reading fics and having feels goes, though, copperbadge and his writerly circle at the time hooked me on Stargate: Atlantis back when they started writing SGA fic without my ever having seen an episode. 

that’s how I find a lot of new ships.

Y: a fandom you’re in but have no ships from.

…huh.

you know, I’m going to go ahead and say Supernatural, because hell yes I read destiel and even wincest (i know, i know, sorry kate) but at the end of the day what I’m in it for is the fucked up codependency of the winchester’s brotherly relationship.

I also read but don’t have particular attachments to most DCU pairings.

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