ME: *does or says something to piss my mother off*

ME: *does or says something to piss my mother off*
MY MOM: *reacts by making dramatic proclamations of cutting off resources and future assistance as clearly they aren't wanted/needed/deserved*
ME: ...
MY DAD: *ignores her*
*resources are not cut off*
...
TWO WEEKS LATER
...
ME: remember when you got angry and said that thing?
MY MOM: I never said that, you're making it up, god you're just determined that we're terrible parents aren't you
MY MOM: *now pissed off, makes another dramatic proclamation of some kind*
ME: if you give a mouse a cookie...
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reallyreallyreallytrying: the cool thing about our

reallyreallyreallytrying:

the cool thing about our present dystopian nightmare is that it doesn’t seem like a dystopian nightmare because the book 1984 didn’t have cute quirky ads

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newleasemylove replied to your post “uh.

newleasemylove replied to your post “uh. so. I kind of. totalled my car yesterday? (it’s cool, I’m fine,…”

*sends so many hugs*

stut—ter replied to your post “uh. so. I kind of. totalled my car yesterday? (it’s cool, I’m fine,…”

OMGGGGGG *hugs hugs hugs* I hope your insurance is kind…

I was actually already in the market for a new car, my (now ex) car is like, 16 years old and way past its expiration date, so this mostly just adds a lot of urgency to the search (which my dad is being fantabulous about helping with). It’s completely totalled, but I was the only car involved, so it doesn’t really matter that I only have the bare minimum insurance.

It was mostly just a horrific scare. o.O  you know how they film car crashes in tv and it speeds up/slows down all at once and then bam, commercial? it’s like that behind my eyelids right now. O.o

I’m betting that’ll go away in a day or so, I just scared the crap out of myself and have learned my lesson about changing lanes at the last minute, no matter what my gps says.

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OH MY GOD I FORGOT

HANG ON GUYS AND GET READY FOR AWESOME

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THEY’RE PIXIES!!!!11

THEY’RE PIXIES!!!!11

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schrodingers-tribble: notyour-sidekick: deerpong:

schrodingers-tribble:

notyour-sidekick:

deerpong:

there’s something very satisfying about buying office supplies but I’m not quite sure how to explain that feeling

the illusion of productivity

that’s it that’s the feeling

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androgynistic: Bisexuality rhymes with my

androgynistic:

Bisexuality rhymes with my sexuality.

Coincidence?

I think not.

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"I’d buy it if it was in black."

“I’d buy it if it was in black.”
- Ancient proverb (via zombiesandmore)
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zeezoutenijs: Sometimes I think that it’s really

zeezoutenijs:

Sometimes I think that it’s really really weird that people used to believe in changelings and getting their babies stolen and replaced by elves but

anti-vaxxers pretty much do the same thing except they blame science instead

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Have you ever wondered where books come from?

zwischendenstuehlen:

Well then, let me show you, because that’s what I do for a living.

Right now, it’s this time of the year, and the little ones have just freshly hatched:

You’ll notice they’re still blind and naked when they hatch. So I make them little coats to keep them warm during their first winter:

See how they happily line up to put them on:

See? Better. Now they’re ready to go and explore the world.

And if they make it through the winter and we take good care of them, they will grow up to be strong and wise like their older fellows:

So, in case you were ever wondering, now you know.

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dontneedyourheroact: shout out to natalie dormer and nicki minaj for both walking a fine line...

dontneedyourheroact:

shout out to natalie dormer and nicki minaj for both walking a fine line between ‘ethereal princess’ and ‘otherworldly predator’

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armin-out: every song is a ship song if you’re

armin-out:

every song is a ship song if you’re in too deep

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Are you a writer ?

Mostly I’m a should be writing more-er.

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cutie-nails: 15 Pretty Nail Art To Pretty Up Your Nails:...

cutie-nails:

15 Pretty Nail Art To Pretty Up Your Nails: http://ift.tt/1mCyZQu

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"How much poison are you willing to eat for the success of the free market and global trade?..."

“

How much poison are you willing
to eat for the success of the free
market and global trade? Please
name your preferred poisons.

For the sake of goodness, how much
evil are you willing to do?
Fill in the following blanks
with the names of your favorite
evils and acts of hatred.

What sacrifices are you prepared
to make for culture and civilization?
Please list the monuments, shrines,
and works of art you would
most willingly destroy.

In the name of patriotism and
the flag, how much of our beloved
land are you willing to desecrate?
List in the following spaces
the mountains, rivers, towns, farms
you could most readily do without.

State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes,
the energy sources, the kinds of security;
for which you would kill a child.
Name, please, the children whom
you would be willing to kill.

”
- Questionnaire, by Wendell Berry from Leavings. (via snowybison)
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onlyblackgirl: shelbysbutt: aanubis: ungrammaticholiday: yggd...

onlyblackgirl:

shelbysbutt:

aanubis:

ungrammaticholiday:

yggdrasilly:

christmasblogger:

Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]

oh my god

NOOOOOOO

they all gasped like OHHH

IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE

I just watched this like 8 times

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Photo

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theforsure: Look at those huge adorable eyes😍

theforsure:

Look at those huge adorable eyes😍

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Photo

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dare-master: Modern Classic Tie Step

dare-master:

Modern Classic Tie

Step 1  -  Start with standard length of rope (about 6-7 feet for wrists). Form a Lark’s Head.

Step 2  -  Place the Lark’s Head over the wrists.

Step 3  -  You now have a small measure of control over your subject while you finish up.

Step 4  -  Wrap the double strand around the wrists once or twice. This distributes the pressure across the wrists and helps prevent loss of circulation

Step 5  -  Pull the double strand through the loop created in the provious step.

Step 6  -  Separate the double strand into 2 individual strands.

Step 7  -  Wrap the individual strands between the wrists and around the other ropes

Step 8  -  Pull them up and around again and pull them tight. This cinches the ropes that go around the wrist, making them snug.

Step 9  -  Secure your tie by the use of a surgeon’s knot.

Step 10  -  The finished tie.

Source

Visit my blog for fun dares (18+) , DIY BDSM instructions and more

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dare-master: Hishi Karada (Basic body Weave)

dare-master:

Hishi Karada (Basic body Weave) 

Step 1 :  We begin by folding the rope in half and around the back of the neck.

Step 2:  We then tie a series of overhand knots. The overhand knots shown down the front of the body about 9” apart, then down between the legs and up the back.  Tie off at the loop at the back of the neck at the point of the initial fold in the rope.

Step 3:  Be sure and leave about 9” of slack below the your subject’s crotch area as well.  

Note that a series of knots I have named the “joy or happy knot” is strategically placed at the bottom of the hanging rope between the legs so when the weave is completed your nawa jujun will have wonderful sensations between her legs so she can self stimulate her clitoris as she walks or moves her hip region.  She will thank you for this placement.   

Step 4: Checking the spacing.

Step 5: You then start your weave back to front to back, working your way down the body.The end result is creating a diamond web effect in the front and back of the body.

Step 6 : Add a little twist with each loop.  It will keep your suit more stable and prevent slipping

Step 7: Finished Back View. As you can see, unlike the front which was a symmetrical weave, I chose to do some decorative variations on the back.

Step 8: Then just for decoration you can do a little loop every 6” or so down the legs.

Step 9: As well as the arms. 

[ Source]

Visit my blog for fun dares (18+) , DIY BDSM instructions and more

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dare-master: The French Bowline Arm Shackle

dare-master:

The French Bowline Arm Shackle

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dare-master: Mexican Handcuff Knot Start by pinching the rope...

dare-master:

Mexican Handcuff Knot

Start by pinching the rope just a little away from the centerpoint. Remember that this can also be done with a doubled rope folded into a bight.

Pass the rope around your other hand. The direction you coil doesn’t really matter but the final knot comes out more evenly if you coil in the direction shown.

Coil a few times around your hand. More coils make the final knot more secure. Fewer coils makes the knot easier to set into place. The number of coils is up to you. Ideally you should pass the middle of the rope when you are halfway done making coils.

Pinch the working end between your index and ring fingers of the hand you wrapped around.

Let go of the working end and slip your index and ring fingers under all of the coils.

Pinch the very last coil with your index and ring fingers.

Pull your hands apart.

Your hands will exit the knot with a loop trailing pinched between each index and middle finger

Visit my blog for fun dares (18+) , DIY BDSM instructions and more

Source

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ot3: first and last scenes

ot3: first and last scenes

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