sophygurl:
maevele:
no-more-ramen:
i get asks from time to time from people upset they can’t claim spoon theory to describe themselves, from people who say “able bodied people still have spoons, just a lot more of them than someone with an illness”.
i’m going to have to stop you right there, folks — spoon theory was CREATED to describe chronic illness. its origin and reason for existence is to give people with chronic ailments the ability to articulate their energy levels at any given time.
reserving spoon theory for people with chronic illnesses is not othering able bodied people. it is empowering people with disabilities. the empowerment of a marginalized group does not mean to automatic demotion of a privileged one.
healthy people don’t need spoon theory. healthy people get tired, yes. of course everyone runs out of energy eventually, yes. of course everyone needs rest, yes. but that struggle is not synonymous to someone whose life is defined by difficult choices, someone whose disease means choosing between cooking lunch and taking a shower, or whose flare-ups make it impossible to complete certain tasks.
some things are simply not yours to claim. some terms belong to certain groups, because they were created specifically for that group to be used by that group, often in order to communicate their specific situation to someone who wouldn’t understand from the outside. be respectful. don’t take it personally. be compassionate to people dealing with chronic illness and disabilities and mental illness. it is the right thing to do.
sophygurl: “ maevele: “ no-more-ramen: “ i get asks from time to time from people upset they can’t claim spoon theory to describe themselves, from people who say “able bodied people still have spoons,…
while I feel perfectly legit using spoons as a metaphor when I’m in the midst of a bad depressive episode, I worry because one of the things I use spoons as shorthand for the most, actually, is my introversion - which isn’t exactly a disability.
I’ve always thought of spoons as being a perfect way to describe the limits to my ability to be sociable and assumed it was a legit way to describe it for any introverts, because we genuinely have limits to our emotional ability to deal with other people, but I guess that’s not really enough to justify appropriating spoon theory?
or maybe what I’ve always thought of as ‘introvert’ spoon limits on socialization are more to do with other ways in which I’m weird? I. don’t actually know what happens to other introverts when they’re over-socially stimulated, besides withdrawing and getting cranky - now that I’m thinking about it, it seems kind of unlikely for it to trigger meltdowns in most people, except in really extreme circumstances of some kind.
and that is really what my spoons usually represent to me: how much I can deal with before I end up completely falling apart.
maybe I shouldn’t use spoons for myself anymore? like. it’s not like I don’t get them back, usually. and they’re not really quantifiable in terms of physical effort or whatever, since mine are pretty much always emotional.
IDK what else to use if not spoons, tho. It’s such a handy shorthand that most people know and understand, and it says in just a few words what might take me paragraphs otherwise.
I’ll probably just keep using the spoons metaphor and feel vaguely guilty about it, but I don’t really understand why I shouldn’t use it, either.
as always, I am so fucking confused.
it does look like quite a few disabled folks disagree with what no-more-ramen’s saying here, and (from my admittedly biased and abled pov) making some pretty good points.
the-real-seebs[x][x][x] csolarstorm[x] bramblepatch[x] jumpingjacktrash[x] deshah[x]
more on nmr’s side of things: zmizet[x] lymmea[x] sylvtaylor[x]
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