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dare-master:
Visit dare-master for more DIY BDSM instructions
Visit dare-master for more DIY BDSM instructions
dare-master:
Intro to Basic Japanese Rope Bondage
Knots
Square Knot: If you can tie your shoes, you can make a square knot. Its just like the first part of tying your shoes, and for the second part you repeat the first half in the opposite direction… Remember “right over left, left over right … makes a square knot nice a tight!”
Half Hitch: The half hitch is a little harder but also very useful. You wrap the rope around what you going to bind too, fold it over itself, then push a loop under the first part, the pull the tails through the loop and pull tight. If you do 3 half hitches, we call that a “hitch and a half”. its possible for a half hitch to slip, but if you do 3 in a row, its easy and fast to make, and virtually impossible to come apart.
Larks Head : It is not really a knot and is called a larks head. Basically you wrap the rope around the body or limp, then put the tails the the bite ( folded mid point ) from the opposite direction and pulling the tails in the opposite direction till snug.
Basic Techniques
Folding/Bight is when you find the center of the rope, and fold the 2 halves over creating a bite and 2 tails. Almost all Japanese rope bondage is based of this technique. It makes the rope act like its twice as wide (so 3/8” rope acts as its 3/4” wide), makes it faster to use up the rope and creates larks heads easy.
Banding: is when you double, triple etc. up the rope up to make it act as it wider then it is to spread out pressure on the surface of the skin. Folding is a version of banding, and you can use a folded rope to create more banding. So a 3/8” rope can act as is 3/4”, 1 1/4”, 2 1/2” wide etc.
Layering: is when you take several different pieces of rope or techniques and layer them on top of each other, or have them effect each other. For example, making a chest harness, then taking another rope, and using one the ends to tie to the chest harness, and the other end to a beam.
The Boola-Boola is an example of layering in one technique.( Figure 8)
Bar Wrap : A bar wrap is when you take the tails of rope and wrap them around a band of rope nice and tight. Basically you end up making a handle you can grab and lift with. And a beautiful way to use up extra rope!
So using these knots are bondage techniques, you can do almost any kind of Japanese rope bondage.
Source
Animated knots is another great site where you can learn all knots required for any kind of bondage.
Visit here for more DIY BDSM instructions and resources
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1qBMnAL
Intro to Basic Japanese Rope Bondage
Knots
Square Knot: If you can tie your shoes, you can make a square knot. Its just like the first part of tying your shoes, and for the second part you repeat the first half in the opposite direction… Remember “right over left, left over right … makes a square knot nice a tight!”
Half Hitch: The half hitch is a little harder but also very useful. You wrap the rope around what you going to bind too, fold it over itself, then push a loop under the first part, the pull the tails through the loop and pull tight. If you do 3 half hitches, we call that a “hitch and a half”. its possible for a half hitch to slip, but if you do 3 in a row, its easy and fast to make, and virtually impossible to come apart.
Larks Head : It is not really a knot and is called a larks head. Basically you wrap the rope around the body or limp, then put the tails the the bite ( folded mid point ) from the opposite direction and pulling the tails in the opposite direction till snug.
Basic Techniques
Folding/Bight is when you find the center of the rope, and fold the 2 halves over creating a bite and 2 tails. Almost all Japanese rope bondage is based of this technique. It makes the rope act like its twice as wide (so 3/8” rope acts as its 3/4” wide), makes it faster to use up the rope and creates larks heads easy.
Banding: is when you double, triple etc. up the rope up to make it act as it wider then it is to spread out pressure on the surface of the skin. Folding is a version of banding, and you can use a folded rope to create more banding. So a 3/8” rope can act as is 3/4”, 1 1/4”, 2 1/2” wide etc.
Layering: is when you take several different pieces of rope or techniques and layer them on top of each other, or have them effect each other. For example, making a chest harness, then taking another rope, and using one the ends to tie to the chest harness, and the other end to a beam.
The Boola-Boola is an example of layering in one technique.( Figure 8)
Bar Wrap : A bar wrap is when you take the tails of rope and wrap them around a band of rope nice and tight. Basically you end up making a handle you can grab and lift with. And a beautiful way to use up extra rope!
So using these knots are bondage techniques, you can do almost any kind of Japanese rope bondage.
Source
Animated knots is another great site where you can learn all knots required for any kind of bondage.
Visit here for more DIY BDSM instructions and resources
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1qBMnAL
It’s actually really easy to be good at arguments and debates, especially if you’re in an rp setting and can make shit up. :D Here are some personal tips from me on how to construct an argument. Remember the PEA! Point, evidence, analysis. Before constructing any argument, try to know what your point is. Try to write a topic sentence, as concise as possible, like “The Avengers will kick the X-Men ass in a battle located in New York City”. Evidence! Try to have at least three pieces of evidence possible in order to back up your point, and always analyze this evidence afterwards. “Because The Avengers have Captain America” Evidence! “Who really has a nice ass and no one can beat his ass cause he has the best one, duh!” Analysis! “Because Wolverine will totally help the Avengers. As seen in graphic novel blah blah blah, Wolverine’s loyalty lies with the Avengers and not with the X-Men.” That’s basically how I would do it in any sort of essay writing slash pseudo debate scenario.
Here are some links to help you with constructing arguments:
Constructing a Logical Argument
5 Ways to Win a Debate
The Best Way to Win an argument
Quick tips to winning debates
Debate tips and tricks
Top 10 tips on winning an argument
How to win Arguments
How to win every argument
How to win an argument
Depending on how you want to play your character, there are a lot of ways to be persuasive. Your character can be more intellectual, coming up with good points to persuade someone to do good. Or, your character can be cunning and achieve it through subtle psychological hints and body language. For example, if you’re drinking with someone, every time that person laugh, by taking a drink you can make them associate the happy and free feeling of being drunk with you. So they naturally listen to you more. Obviously, that’s really sneaky, so it’s up to your character traits on whether that would be included. All persuasive characters have one thing in common and that’s confidence. So as the writer, you have to be confident in what your character’s motivations are. Be sure that you know why your character is persuading someone to do as such. Is it because they always want to be right? Or, is it because they are more manipulative?
Here are some links to help:
Manipulation character tips
The 21 principles of persuasion
How to be persuasive
Principles of persuasion
How to speak with persuasively
How to be persuasive and not get persuaded
And for playing someone more clever than you are, google helps. Really. I’m currently playing an electrical engineer and I have no idea how to even begin. But it’s always about the research. When a specific topic comes up like, building a tiny robot camera, I google how to build a robot camera. It’s legitimately all I do for every character. When I roleplay Hawkeye, I think I had thirty tabs open at one point telling me how to shoot an arrow and how to calculate wind direction affecting said arrow. So you know, bullshit a little bit, and google a little bit. Throw really long words at your roleplayer and it’s all good.
Here are some links:
Kgillsrpc’ writing a witty character
writing-questions-answered’s how to write a smart character
Forum: how to create a smart character when you yourself aren’t smart
How to write characters that are smarter than you are
Hope that helps!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1qyHMiD
Here are some links to help you with constructing arguments:
Constructing a Logical Argument
5 Ways to Win a Debate
The Best Way to Win an argument
Quick tips to winning debates
Debate tips and tricks
Top 10 tips on winning an argument
How to win Arguments
How to win every argument
How to win an argument
Depending on how you want to play your character, there are a lot of ways to be persuasive. Your character can be more intellectual, coming up with good points to persuade someone to do good. Or, your character can be cunning and achieve it through subtle psychological hints and body language. For example, if you’re drinking with someone, every time that person laugh, by taking a drink you can make them associate the happy and free feeling of being drunk with you. So they naturally listen to you more. Obviously, that’s really sneaky, so it’s up to your character traits on whether that would be included. All persuasive characters have one thing in common and that’s confidence. So as the writer, you have to be confident in what your character’s motivations are. Be sure that you know why your character is persuading someone to do as such. Is it because they always want to be right? Or, is it because they are more manipulative?
Here are some links to help:
Manipulation character tips
The 21 principles of persuasion
How to be persuasive
Principles of persuasion
How to speak with persuasively
How to be persuasive and not get persuaded
And for playing someone more clever than you are, google helps. Really. I’m currently playing an electrical engineer and I have no idea how to even begin. But it’s always about the research. When a specific topic comes up like, building a tiny robot camera, I google how to build a robot camera. It’s legitimately all I do for every character. When I roleplay Hawkeye, I think I had thirty tabs open at one point telling me how to shoot an arrow and how to calculate wind direction affecting said arrow. So you know, bullshit a little bit, and google a little bit. Throw really long words at your roleplayer and it’s all good.
Here are some links:
Kgillsrpc’ writing a witty character
writing-questions-answered’s how to write a smart character
Forum: how to create a smart character when you yourself aren’t smart
How to write characters that are smarter than you are
Hope that helps!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1qyHMiD
Things I Never Learned In High School
Sep. 23rd, 2014 05:22 amclevergirlhelps:
sweetandlovelygirl7:
w0lf-eyes:
How to do taxes
What taxes are
How to vote
What political parties are
How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
How to write a check/balance a check book
Anything to do with banking
How to do loans for college
How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
How to buy a car or house
but I’m so glad I know the fucking pythagorean theorem
thank you
didn’t learn any of this in college either
yoooooo (part II)
How to do taxes
What taxes are
How to vote
What political parties are
How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
How to write a check/balance a check book
Anything to do with banking
How to do loans for college
How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
How to buy a car or house
BONUS
How the stock market works (and how to invest)
How insurance works (house, car, life)
Good meals for under $10
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1ufMsBt
sweetandlovelygirl7:
w0lf-eyes:
How to do taxes
What taxes are
How to vote
What political parties are
How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
How to write a check/balance a check book
Anything to do with banking
How to do loans for college
How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
How to buy a car or house
but I’m so glad I know the fucking pythagorean theorem
thank you
didn’t learn any of this in college either
yoooooo (part II)
How to do taxes
What taxes are
How to vote
What political parties are
How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
How to write a check/balance a check book
Anything to do with banking
How to do loans for college
How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
How to buy a car or house
BONUS
How the stock market works (and how to invest)
How insurance works (house, car, life)
Good meals for under $10
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1ufMsBt
thecsph:
alittleswitchinwonderland:
stickdom:
Self Spanking is hardly ever discussed and I have gotten lots of questions about it, being as I was a self spanker for years before finding a partner, I hope this info is helpful!
This doesn’t really work for me. I like the energy from another person’s hand, but its good information and I will pass it on.
EDIT: Self-spanking is an option that is not talked about very often! The best part is doing it with someone you trust, so why not do it with yourself!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1AZs1Hz
alittleswitchinwonderland:
stickdom:
Self Spanking is hardly ever discussed and I have gotten lots of questions about it, being as I was a self spanker for years before finding a partner, I hope this info is helpful!
This doesn’t really work for me. I like the energy from another person’s hand, but its good information and I will pass it on.
EDIT: Self-spanking is an option that is not talked about very often! The best part is doing it with someone you trust, so why not do it with yourself!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1AZs1Hz
coolator:
beahbeah:
this website SAVED MY BRAIN when i was a stressed out college student. quite a few of you are still suffering through college so i hope this helps you too!! c:
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1sJKFyU
beahbeah:
this website SAVED MY BRAIN when i was a stressed out college student. quite a few of you are still suffering through college so i hope this helps you too!! c:
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1sJKFyU
officialkia:
pennameverity:
This is Duolingo, a language-learning website/app that deserves some serious recognition. It offers over 10 languages for English speakers, as well as courses for non-English speakers around the world, and they’re in the process of adding more.
But wait, I don’t want to do any more schoolwork! Not to worry little one, Duolingo is actually more like a game. You can compete with friends, and earn “lingots” (which are basically Duolingo money) to buy power-ups, extra activities, and bonus skills - like Flirting.
I’m already taking a language, what do I need this for?
It’s not really a secret that most school language courses (in America, anyway) suck and only teach you to speak the language at about a third grader’s level. Which is why Duolingo is so freaking awesome.
Teachers can’t give every student individualized attention, but Duolingo can. If you’re not learning the way you want to or as much as you want to in the classroom, Duolingo is a really great resource. It’s easy, tailored to you, and really effective.
Duolingo tracks your progress and reminds you when you haven’t studied for a while or need a refresher on something. Already semi-fluent in a language? No problem, just take a shortcut to more advanced subjects or test out of the lesson.
The lessons start with the basics (he, she, hello, thank you, etc) and move up to harder stuff. Duolingo focuses on vocabulary first, so you can learn the language and then the grammar that goes with it - much simpler than the system most schools use. It also tracks the number of words you’ve learned and how well you know them.
And you don’t even have to write out the flashcards!
Duolingo is perfect for reviewing everything you forgot over the summer or giving you the extra help you need. And if you’re trying to learn a language on your own, it’s fantastic - you don’t have to create your own lessons. Whether you’re trying to learn your second, third, or fifth language, I seriously recommend Duolingo.
Okay, what else?
Duolingo also has discussion boards, where you can ask for help with a hard lesson, make new friends, watch for updates, and share your achievements.
Even better is the Immersion feature. It won’t send you to Spain or France, but it’s pretty awesome. Duolingo takes real articles from the internet, which users translate. You can translate articles from your native language into the language you’re learning or vice versa, which gives you more experience and makes the Internet more universal.
You can suggest new languages and track Duolingo’s progress in creating new courses. Bilinguals (older than 13) can help to create these courses. Duolingo has a long list of courses that can be contributed to, like Punjabi, Hebrew, and Vietnamese. Oh, and Dothraki, Klingon, Sindarin, and Esperanto.
And the best part? IT’S COMPLETELY FREE.
If you love languages or just want to pass French class this year, USE DUOLINGO. Download the app and practice a language while you wait for the bus instead of playing Angry Birds!
Coolest app I’ve ever downloaded.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1mpGP15
pennameverity:
This is Duolingo, a language-learning website/app that deserves some serious recognition. It offers over 10 languages for English speakers, as well as courses for non-English speakers around the world, and they’re in the process of adding more.
But wait, I don’t want to do any more schoolwork! Not to worry little one, Duolingo is actually more like a game. You can compete with friends, and earn “lingots” (which are basically Duolingo money) to buy power-ups, extra activities, and bonus skills - like Flirting.
I’m already taking a language, what do I need this for?
It’s not really a secret that most school language courses (in America, anyway) suck and only teach you to speak the language at about a third grader’s level. Which is why Duolingo is so freaking awesome.
Teachers can’t give every student individualized attention, but Duolingo can. If you’re not learning the way you want to or as much as you want to in the classroom, Duolingo is a really great resource. It’s easy, tailored to you, and really effective.
Duolingo tracks your progress and reminds you when you haven’t studied for a while or need a refresher on something. Already semi-fluent in a language? No problem, just take a shortcut to more advanced subjects or test out of the lesson.
The lessons start with the basics (he, she, hello, thank you, etc) and move up to harder stuff. Duolingo focuses on vocabulary first, so you can learn the language and then the grammar that goes with it - much simpler than the system most schools use. It also tracks the number of words you’ve learned and how well you know them.
And you don’t even have to write out the flashcards!
Duolingo is perfect for reviewing everything you forgot over the summer or giving you the extra help you need. And if you’re trying to learn a language on your own, it’s fantastic - you don’t have to create your own lessons. Whether you’re trying to learn your second, third, or fifth language, I seriously recommend Duolingo.
Okay, what else?
Duolingo also has discussion boards, where you can ask for help with a hard lesson, make new friends, watch for updates, and share your achievements.
Even better is the Immersion feature. It won’t send you to Spain or France, but it’s pretty awesome. Duolingo takes real articles from the internet, which users translate. You can translate articles from your native language into the language you’re learning or vice versa, which gives you more experience and makes the Internet more universal.
You can suggest new languages and track Duolingo’s progress in creating new courses. Bilinguals (older than 13) can help to create these courses. Duolingo has a long list of courses that can be contributed to, like Punjabi, Hebrew, and Vietnamese. Oh, and Dothraki, Klingon, Sindarin, and Esperanto.
And the best part? IT’S COMPLETELY FREE.
If you love languages or just want to pass French class this year, USE DUOLINGO. Download the app and practice a language while you wait for the bus instead of playing Angry Birds!
Coolest app I’ve ever downloaded.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1mpGP15
other-bronte:
Guide to Rope Types and Some Places to Get Them
So, one question I get asked by at least one new person every time I talk about rope is, “What kind of rope should I get?” (Exact phrasing varies.)
My answer is usually something vague and slightly unhelpful like, “Well, that depends…”
(This is how I answer a lot of rope questions.)
I’ve decided to write up a guide to the most common kinds of rope, their pros and cons, and some places you can buy them specifically for kink purposes. The usual diameter for most bondage rope is 5 or 6 mm, depending on preference; some places will go up to 7 or 8 mm but at that thickness it can be hard to work with and get very bulky. Rope will either be braided or twisted in construction. Twisted ropes leave good rope marks and have more bite to them, while braided ropes (usually with a core of some kind) are more solid and have less stretch, and also do not run the risk of high-stranding or opening up while in use.
Keep in mind that what some people (me) consider to be a pro of certain kinds of rope, others might find to be a disadvantage. Try a few kinds, use different kinds for different things, learn about all the possible types available to you and what you can/can’t do with them!
Natural Fiber
The common natural fiber types used for bondage are hemp, jute, and cotton. Other materials include bamboo, silk, and linen, but they are less common and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend them for beginners. There is also coconut, palm frond, and sisal rope, but those are specifically for torture techniques, not general use.
Pros of natural fibers:
-They have an innate grip or bite to them which allows the rigger to use friction to hold rope in place when tying, rather than relying entirely on knots.
- They have a higher burn point than synthetic ropes, so it’s harder to give your bottom rope burn (exception: woven cotton rope such as the kind which is sold as ‘bondage rope’ by sex toy companies. This stuff has a very low burn point.)
-They have less stretch than most synthetics, so when you tie them they stay at that tension, more or less, making it harder to wriggle out of (exception: braided cotton, which is very stretchy.)
Cons
- Being natural instead of man-made, there really isn’t a way to 100% know how strong any given piece of rope is. Most sellers/manufacturers have tested them to a reasonable level of surety, but there could be weaknesses in the fibers that aren’t apparent.
-Some people have hemp or jute allergies, or sensitivities to the products used to treat them.
-Unless you buy them pre-conditioned, you might have to put time into defuzzing and treating them before use, otherwise they are very stiff and scratchy.
- Washing and drying them can be a pain; you have to dry them under tension so they don’t shrink down, and washing can weaken them. They also aren’t great for using in water bondage, as they are very hard to untie when soaked.
Hemp
Hemp is a really common rope material for shibari and Western-style bondage. It’s strong, soft when broken in, and has a pleasant weight to it that some bottoms enjoy. It has a grassy/horsey scent as well, which some people love and some people hate. I like hemp for long-term wearable bondage or bondage for sleeping in because of how soft it is when worn in. It takes dye better than jute does, so finding it in pretty colors is easier. There is also a synthetic version of hemp available, called Hempex, which is made of polyester to mimic the look and feel of hemp while retaining the strength of synthetic rope.
Jute
Jute is pretty much the rope du jour in the Shibari world at the moment. It’s much lighter than hemp, allowing for faster tying and carrying around more of it without having a bag that weighs a ton. Jute doesn’t have the cloth-like softness of hemp; it tends to be a bit scratchier even when broken in. It isn’t quite as strong as hemp, either, but you can find jute that has been reinforced with nylon or Dyneema for strength. I use jute in most of my tying, with reinforced jute for my suspension lines.
Most jute and hemp rope sold for bondage is twisted, but it is possible to find braided varieties.
Cotton
Commonly sold as a starter sex rope, cotton is soft, stretchy, and cheap. It is generally not as strong as hemp or jute so is rarely used for suspensions. It can be found or dyed in many colors. Its softness means it really compresses under tension, so tying knots very tightly can mean spending ages getting them undone; this goes extra if it’s wet. It’s easily washable and easy to come by. I honestly barely use it, except to give to Peer Rope people for practice rope.
Synthetics
There are two main kinds of synthetic ropes used for bondage — nylon and MFP (multi-filament polypropelene), though polyester rope is also available from some sellers. Synthetic rope is much more common in Western-style bondage than in Shibari, and the ties used there are more suited to its properties. Braided construction is more common in synthetic ropes but it is possible to find twisted varieties if you’re going for rope marks. You’ll usually find synthetics for bondage sold in 5/16” or 1/4” diameters, roughly comparable to 5mm and 6mm.
Pros
- Synthetic rope is manufactured from man-made materials, so it is consistent in size and strength. Apart from possible manufacturing error, all pieces of a rope of a given diameter should have the same load bearing capabilities. Synthetic rope is much stronger and more reliable than natural fiber.
-Synthetics come in all the colors of the rainbow, and won’t fade or bleed dye the way dyed natural fibers do.
-Synthetics are easy to care for, usually machine washable and hang to dry with no ill effects. This makes them ideal for rope play around bodily fluids or water. They also don’t compact when wet the way natural fibers do, retaining their shape and slickness, so they are easier to untie when wet.
-You don’t have to treat or break in synthetics. They’re ready to go!
Cons
-Synthetics are slick and slippery; you cannot depend on friction to hold things in place the way you can with natural fibers.
-It is much easier to give someone rope burn with synthetic ropes, so be aware when pulling rope quickly over skin or between parts of the body. Even though they feel softer and smoother than the naturals, they heat up faster.
-Some bottoms who are used to natural fibers really don’t like synthetics (this is mostly a snobbery issue, in fairness.)
Nylon
Nylon is stronger than MFP, while still feeling slightly softer and more sensual. 100% nylon rope can be great for bottoms with sensitivities to other materials. It’s not as water-resistant as MFP but is still good for wet or messy play. It is stretchier than natural fibers.
MFP
Not as strong as nylon, but with less stretch as well for more accurate tension. MFP repels water, making it ideal for wet or messy play and the ensuring cleanup.
Polyester
Polyester has a softer, warmer feel than the other two and a slightly higher burn point (though still lower than natural fibers). It is stronger than nylon and MFP.
As with everything in rope, for each point I’ve made above, you can find someone who disagrees. Do your own research, try things, and come to your own conclusions.
Now where to get all these marvellous kinds of rope?
Here are some places in the UK and the US where you can get rope. I’ve added a note with each about what kinds of rope they sell/specialize in. This is not an exhaustive list by any means; this is just a few that I know and/or have experience with. I’m sorry if I’ve left out your favorite local artisan who makes hand-twisted spiderweb and unicorn-hair rope that glows in the dark.
UK/EU
Esinem: http://esinem-rope.com/ (cotton, hemp, and jute)
Bind Me: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJ8 (hemp and jute, some colors)
Jakara: http://ift.tt/ZunpxD (jute and hemp)
Jaderope UK: http://ift.tt/1qXnzqi (jute, hemp, cotton, Hempex, synthetics)
US
De Giotto rope: http://ift.tt/1wwpion (hemp, jute, bamboo, lots of colors)
Erin Houdini: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJc (hemp and nylon, lots of colors including UV reactive)
Rainbow Ropes: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJf (MFP and hemp, lots of colors)
Twisted Monk: http://ift.tt/ZunpxJ (hemp, some colors)
Boss Bondage: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJp (hemp and jute, lots of colors)
Jaderope US: http://ift.tt/1wwpioy (jute, hemp, cotton, Hempex, synthetics)
M0co: http://ift.tt/ZunpO0 (jute)
MauiKink: http://mauikink.com/ (hemp, jute, exotics)
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1wwpfZH
Guide to Rope Types and Some Places to Get Them
So, one question I get asked by at least one new person every time I talk about rope is, “What kind of rope should I get?” (Exact phrasing varies.)
My answer is usually something vague and slightly unhelpful like, “Well, that depends…”
(This is how I answer a lot of rope questions.)
I’ve decided to write up a guide to the most common kinds of rope, their pros and cons, and some places you can buy them specifically for kink purposes. The usual diameter for most bondage rope is 5 or 6 mm, depending on preference; some places will go up to 7 or 8 mm but at that thickness it can be hard to work with and get very bulky. Rope will either be braided or twisted in construction. Twisted ropes leave good rope marks and have more bite to them, while braided ropes (usually with a core of some kind) are more solid and have less stretch, and also do not run the risk of high-stranding or opening up while in use.
Keep in mind that what some people (me) consider to be a pro of certain kinds of rope, others might find to be a disadvantage. Try a few kinds, use different kinds for different things, learn about all the possible types available to you and what you can/can’t do with them!
Natural Fiber
The common natural fiber types used for bondage are hemp, jute, and cotton. Other materials include bamboo, silk, and linen, but they are less common and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend them for beginners. There is also coconut, palm frond, and sisal rope, but those are specifically for torture techniques, not general use.
Pros of natural fibers:
-They have an innate grip or bite to them which allows the rigger to use friction to hold rope in place when tying, rather than relying entirely on knots.
- They have a higher burn point than synthetic ropes, so it’s harder to give your bottom rope burn (exception: woven cotton rope such as the kind which is sold as ‘bondage rope’ by sex toy companies. This stuff has a very low burn point.)
-They have less stretch than most synthetics, so when you tie them they stay at that tension, more or less, making it harder to wriggle out of (exception: braided cotton, which is very stretchy.)
Cons
- Being natural instead of man-made, there really isn’t a way to 100% know how strong any given piece of rope is. Most sellers/manufacturers have tested them to a reasonable level of surety, but there could be weaknesses in the fibers that aren’t apparent.
-Some people have hemp or jute allergies, or sensitivities to the products used to treat them.
-Unless you buy them pre-conditioned, you might have to put time into defuzzing and treating them before use, otherwise they are very stiff and scratchy.
- Washing and drying them can be a pain; you have to dry them under tension so they don’t shrink down, and washing can weaken them. They also aren’t great for using in water bondage, as they are very hard to untie when soaked.
Hemp
Hemp is a really common rope material for shibari and Western-style bondage. It’s strong, soft when broken in, and has a pleasant weight to it that some bottoms enjoy. It has a grassy/horsey scent as well, which some people love and some people hate. I like hemp for long-term wearable bondage or bondage for sleeping in because of how soft it is when worn in. It takes dye better than jute does, so finding it in pretty colors is easier. There is also a synthetic version of hemp available, called Hempex, which is made of polyester to mimic the look and feel of hemp while retaining the strength of synthetic rope.
Jute
Jute is pretty much the rope du jour in the Shibari world at the moment. It’s much lighter than hemp, allowing for faster tying and carrying around more of it without having a bag that weighs a ton. Jute doesn’t have the cloth-like softness of hemp; it tends to be a bit scratchier even when broken in. It isn’t quite as strong as hemp, either, but you can find jute that has been reinforced with nylon or Dyneema for strength. I use jute in most of my tying, with reinforced jute for my suspension lines.
Most jute and hemp rope sold for bondage is twisted, but it is possible to find braided varieties.
Cotton
Commonly sold as a starter sex rope, cotton is soft, stretchy, and cheap. It is generally not as strong as hemp or jute so is rarely used for suspensions. It can be found or dyed in many colors. Its softness means it really compresses under tension, so tying knots very tightly can mean spending ages getting them undone; this goes extra if it’s wet. It’s easily washable and easy to come by. I honestly barely use it, except to give to Peer Rope people for practice rope.
Synthetics
There are two main kinds of synthetic ropes used for bondage — nylon and MFP (multi-filament polypropelene), though polyester rope is also available from some sellers. Synthetic rope is much more common in Western-style bondage than in Shibari, and the ties used there are more suited to its properties. Braided construction is more common in synthetic ropes but it is possible to find twisted varieties if you’re going for rope marks. You’ll usually find synthetics for bondage sold in 5/16” or 1/4” diameters, roughly comparable to 5mm and 6mm.
Pros
- Synthetic rope is manufactured from man-made materials, so it is consistent in size and strength. Apart from possible manufacturing error, all pieces of a rope of a given diameter should have the same load bearing capabilities. Synthetic rope is much stronger and more reliable than natural fiber.
-Synthetics come in all the colors of the rainbow, and won’t fade or bleed dye the way dyed natural fibers do.
-Synthetics are easy to care for, usually machine washable and hang to dry with no ill effects. This makes them ideal for rope play around bodily fluids or water. They also don’t compact when wet the way natural fibers do, retaining their shape and slickness, so they are easier to untie when wet.
-You don’t have to treat or break in synthetics. They’re ready to go!
Cons
-Synthetics are slick and slippery; you cannot depend on friction to hold things in place the way you can with natural fibers.
-It is much easier to give someone rope burn with synthetic ropes, so be aware when pulling rope quickly over skin or between parts of the body. Even though they feel softer and smoother than the naturals, they heat up faster.
-Some bottoms who are used to natural fibers really don’t like synthetics (this is mostly a snobbery issue, in fairness.)
Nylon
Nylon is stronger than MFP, while still feeling slightly softer and more sensual. 100% nylon rope can be great for bottoms with sensitivities to other materials. It’s not as water-resistant as MFP but is still good for wet or messy play. It is stretchier than natural fibers.
MFP
Not as strong as nylon, but with less stretch as well for more accurate tension. MFP repels water, making it ideal for wet or messy play and the ensuring cleanup.
Polyester
Polyester has a softer, warmer feel than the other two and a slightly higher burn point (though still lower than natural fibers). It is stronger than nylon and MFP.
As with everything in rope, for each point I’ve made above, you can find someone who disagrees. Do your own research, try things, and come to your own conclusions.
Now where to get all these marvellous kinds of rope?
Here are some places in the UK and the US where you can get rope. I’ve added a note with each about what kinds of rope they sell/specialize in. This is not an exhaustive list by any means; this is just a few that I know and/or have experience with. I’m sorry if I’ve left out your favorite local artisan who makes hand-twisted spiderweb and unicorn-hair rope that glows in the dark.
UK/EU
Esinem: http://esinem-rope.com/ (cotton, hemp, and jute)
Bind Me: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJ8 (hemp and jute, some colors)
Jakara: http://ift.tt/ZunpxD (jute and hemp)
Jaderope UK: http://ift.tt/1qXnzqi (jute, hemp, cotton, Hempex, synthetics)
US
De Giotto rope: http://ift.tt/1wwpion (hemp, jute, bamboo, lots of colors)
Erin Houdini: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJc (hemp and nylon, lots of colors including UV reactive)
Rainbow Ropes: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJf (MFP and hemp, lots of colors)
Twisted Monk: http://ift.tt/ZunpxJ (hemp, some colors)
Boss Bondage: http://ift.tt/1wwpfJp (hemp and jute, lots of colors)
Jaderope US: http://ift.tt/1wwpioy (jute, hemp, cotton, Hempex, synthetics)
M0co: http://ift.tt/ZunpO0 (jute)
MauiKink: http://mauikink.com/ (hemp, jute, exotics)
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1wwpfZH
pro-choice-or-no-voice:
The Importance of Comprehensive Sexual Education:
"Research has identified highly effective sex education and HIV prevention programs that affect multiple behaviors and/or achieve positive health impacts. Behavioral outcomes have included delaying the initiation of sex as well as reducing the frequency of sex, the number of new partners, and the incidence of unprotected sex, and/or increasing the use of condoms and contraception among sexually active participants. Long-term impacts have included lower STI and/or pregnancy rates." [x]
We need to equip people with knowledge and resources to maintain a healthy and safe lifestyle. By teaching comprehensive sex education we are allowing people to make informed decisions about their health and and personal lives. - Paige
The Basics (Anatomy and Biological functions):
What is a vagina?
What is a vulva? (Basic Anatomy inside links.)
What is the vagina’s biological function during sexual intercourse (specifically PIV sex)?
What is the uterus and what is it’s biological function?
What is a hymen and what are the different kinds of hymens?
What is the purpose of a hymen?
Which hole does urine come out of and which hole does menstruation come out of?
Menstrual Cycle:
What is a menstrual cycle?
What is menstruation?
Why do we menstruate?
How to use pads, tampons, and menstrual cups.
What is ovulation?
Vaginal Hygiene:
The vagina, is in fact, designed to keep itself clean with the help of natural secretions (discharge). But there are ways you can help maintain the cleanliness of your vagina (i.e. avoiding perfumed soaps and gently washing the vulva area, not the actual vagina.) Click the link for more information.
*Vaginal odors and discharge; what’s normal and what’s not?
What is douching?
What are Pap Smears?
"A Pap smear, also called a Pap test, is a procedure to test for cervical cancer in people. A Pap smear involves collecting cells from your cervix — the lower, narrow end of your uterus that’s at the top of your vagina."
When do I need a pap smear?
What are vaginal orgasms? Clitoral orgasms? G-Spot orgasms? How can you achieve an orgasm?
"A “vaginal orgasm” is the notion that [people] can have an orgasm through stimulation during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, entirely without clitoral stimulation. However, the vagina has few nerve endings, and therefore cannot create an orgasm on its own. Instead of thinking of the vagina and clitoris as separate entities, try thinking about them as a network of nerves and muscles."
"There’s some disagreement about the size of the G-spot; it may range from a quarter inch to a couple inches along the upper wall of your vagina, about an inch or two past your vaginal opening. Underneath it is highly sensitive tissue that, when touched the right way, triggers feelings of sexual happiness, explains Debby Herbenick, PhD."
Myths and facts about orgasms.
Tips on how to have an orgasm.
Having trouble reaching an orgasm? No worries, there is help! [x][x]
Female Genital Mutilation Information:
"Female genital mutilation (FGM) includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons."
“The procedure has no health benefits for girls and women.”
"Procedures can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, infertility as well as complications in childbirth and increased risk of newborn deaths."
"FGM is a violation of the human rights of girls and women."
The Basics (Anatomy and Biological Functions):
What is a penis?
What are testicles? (Basic Anatomy inside links.)
What is the penis’ biological function during sexual intercourse? (Specifically PIV sex.)
Examining your testicles for Testicular Cancer: How to.
Penile Hygiene:
"Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re having a shower or bath. If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash underneath."
"Gently washing your penis once a day with warm water is sufficient to maintain good hygiene. If you want to use soap, choose a mild or non-perfumed soap to reduce the risk of skin irritation."
What is an erection and ejaculation?
"An erection begins in the brain. Physical and/or mental stimulation cause nerves in the brain to send chemical messages to nerves in the penis telling the penile blood vessels to relax so that blood can flow freely into the penis. Once in the penis, high pressure traps the blood within both corpora cavernosa. This causes the penis to expand and sustain an erection."
"Ejaculation, the release of semen at climax, is triggered when a person reaches a critical level of excitement."
*Overcoming ejaculation problems.
Is ejaculation and having an orgasm the same thing?
What is semen and what does it do?
What is Erectile Dysfunction? Treatments.
What is circumcision & is it medically necessary?
"Circumcision is the removal of a simple fold of skin (the `foreskin’ or `prepuce’) that covers the head (glans) of the un-erect penis."
While there are benefits of being circumcised, it is not medically necessary.
The Basics:
What is masturbation and how do you do it?
Why do people masturbate?
Is masturbating normal and can it be harmful? (Short answer: Masturbation is normal, and no it is not harmful!)
WebMDs Masturbation FAQ.
The benefits of masturbation: [x] [x]
An Asexual’s Guide to Masturbation.
What is sex?
People define “sex” in different ways. Some people believe that it only counts as sex if a penis goes into a vagina, but this isn’t true for everybody. There are lots of different ideas about what sex can be: Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse), Oral sex (mouth-to-genital contact), Anal sex (penis-in-anus intercourse), Dry humping or genital rubbing, Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact), and Masturbation.
What is oral sex?
What is anal sex?
Why do people have sex?
How to have safe sex.
(STI and pregnancy prevention goes more in depth below!)
What is Consent and is it mandatory?
"Whenever you have sex, you need to make sure that your partner is just as enthusiastic about having sex. In other words, that they give their full consent.” Consent is an enthusiastic, freely-given, uncoerced, sober, “yes”.
Consent is ALWAYS mandatory, whether you’re married, dating or just met.
What is sex without consent? Rape/Sexual Assault.
What is sexual assault? What is rape? (Resources below.)
Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention.
What do I do if I’ve been sexually assaulted?
Sexual assault prevention and awareness.
Resources for sexual assault victims: United States.
Resources for sexual assault victims: Canada.
Resources for sexual assault victims: United Kingdom.
More international resources.
More resources.
Is sex supposed to hurt the first time?
"While it’s common for [some] to feel pain or discomfort with sex, it’s not “normal” in that it has to happen or there isn’t an alternative. Sex is not supposed to hurt: it’s supposed to feel very good.”
[Inside the link above, it does explain what to do to make sure sex is not painful.]
Are there benefits to having sex?
10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex.
Top 11 Benefits of Having Sex.
14 Unexpected Benefits of Having Sex.
What does MOGII mean?
Marginalized Orientation, Gender Identity, and Intersex.
It’s a synonym for LGBTQIAP+ and is inclusive for people who don’t have or don’t want labels, rejects allies, and uses no reclaimed slurs.
What is a sexual orientation?
"Sexual orientation describes to whom a person is sexually attracted. Some people are attracted to people of a particular gender; others are attracted to more than one gender. Some are not attracted to anyone."
“Affectional orientation is a term that describes to whom a person is romantically attracted, acknowledging that for many people there are more components to attraction than just sexual desire.”
What is gender identity?
"The ways in which a person identifies and/or expresses their gender, including self-image, appearance, and embodiment of gender roles. One’s sex (e.g., male, female, intersex, etc.) is usually assigned at birth based on one’s physical biology. One’s gender (e.g., man, woman, genderqueer, etc.) is one’s internal sense of self and identity.”
Some gender identities.
Some more gender identities.
Genderqueer and Non Binary Identities.
Resources for most Gender Identities.
(Resources for understanding gender identity, figuring out yours, how to come out to parents and friends, transitioning resources, local supports, and more!)
What is asexuality?
"Some people who identify as asexual do not experience sexual attraction to other people, while others experience sexual attraction but no desire to act on these attractions."
“Asexuality and Celibacy are not the same. Many people who are asexual live a celibate life, meaning that they do not engage in sex with others. But while Celibacy is a choice, asexuality is not.”
"Asexuality is not a dysfunction, and there is no need to find a "cause" or a "cure."" [x]
Are all people who identify as asexual sex repulsed? No!
Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
What does transgender mean? (Resources below!)
"Transgender – or trans – is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity or expression is different from those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth (e.g., the sex listed on their birth certificate)." [x]
"Transgender may be used to describe someone who was assigned female or male at birth, but later realizes that label doesn’t accurately reflect who they feel they are inside."
Resources for transgender people.
More resources for transgender people
Coming Out as Trans
All About Gender Therapy
Trans Health Matters: Trans Women
Trans Health Matters: Trans Men
Top 10 Trans-Friendly Colleges
What does intersex mean?
“Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.
How common is intersex?
Intersex Society of North America.
Resources for intersex people.
What are STIs, how do you get them, and what are the symptoms?
"A sexually transmissible infection (STI) is any infection or disease that can be passed from one person to another during sexual activity. Sexually transmissible infections include chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, scabies, pubic lice (crabs), hepatitis and HIV (the virus that causes AIDS).”
Why do we call them STIs now and not STDs?
Everyone is at risk of obtaining an STI, but some are more at risk.
STIs that can be contracted through non-sexual contact.
How do you protect yourself from STIs?
Female / male condoms and dental dams.
Finger cots (finger condoms).
Post-exposure prophylaxis, is a short-term antiretroviral treatment to reduce the likelihood of HIV infection after potential exposure.
Know the signs and symptoms of an STI. If you notice a symptom that worries you, get checked out!
How do I get tested for STIs?
What treatments are out there for STIs?
What is pregnancy? When are you considered to be pregnant? How do you get pregnant?
To be pregnant is to have an embryo/fetus developing in your uterus. “A pregnancy is considered to be established only after implantation is complete.”
"When engaging in unprotected vaginal intercourse during which ejaculation of sperm occurs in the vagina. The sperm can then travel up through the cervix, into the uterus, and, if an egg is present, the sperm may fertilize it."
"It is also possible — but less likely — for a person to become pregnant through any kind of sex play in which semen, or ejaculate, comes in contact with the vulva. The sperm can travel through the moisture on the vulva into the vagina."
WebMD’s Online Pregnancy Center.
What to Expect: Pregnancy.
Pregnancy Resources.
What are my options if I get pregnant?
If you’re pregnant you have three options; parenting, adoption, and abortion.
Only you can decide what is right for you, definitely take some time to go over your options, but remember, the sooner you decide the more options you’ll have.
Resources for Decision Making and Low Income Parenting.
Abortion funds and Judicial Bypass.
How do you prevent pregnancy? (Check out birth control masterpost below.)
"Birth control allows us to prevent pregnancy and plan the timing of pregnancy."
Birth control is not a “one size fit’s all deal” there are all different kinds of birth control out there from hormonal to non hormonal, methods to medicines, and so on. The best way to figure out which birth control works best for you is by doing research and speaking with your doctor.
****Contraceptives Masterpost****^^ Lists many birth control options (and links you to more information about these options), goes over emergency contraceptives and FAQs, birth control FAQs, options for people with allergies or personal preferences, and debunks myths about birth control.
Lubricants that should not be used on condoms.
Where can I obtain birth control/contraceptives?
Guide to getting privacy under parent’s health insurance.
10 Ways to save on Birth Control.
The 5 Steps of a Breast Self Exam: Checking for Breast Cancer.
Sex Ed for physically, emotionally, and mentally disabled youth.
Sex Ed for Youth with disability or chronic illness.
Advocates for Youth.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1trHcsS
The Importance of Comprehensive Sexual Education:
"Research has identified highly effective sex education and HIV prevention programs that affect multiple behaviors and/or achieve positive health impacts. Behavioral outcomes have included delaying the initiation of sex as well as reducing the frequency of sex, the number of new partners, and the incidence of unprotected sex, and/or increasing the use of condoms and contraception among sexually active participants. Long-term impacts have included lower STI and/or pregnancy rates." [x]
We need to equip people with knowledge and resources to maintain a healthy and safe lifestyle. By teaching comprehensive sex education we are allowing people to make informed decisions about their health and and personal lives. - Paige
The Basics (Anatomy and Biological functions):
What is a vagina?
What is a vulva? (Basic Anatomy inside links.)
What is the vagina’s biological function during sexual intercourse (specifically PIV sex)?
What is the uterus and what is it’s biological function?
What is a hymen and what are the different kinds of hymens?
What is the purpose of a hymen?
Which hole does urine come out of and which hole does menstruation come out of?
Menstrual Cycle:
What is a menstrual cycle?
What is menstruation?
Why do we menstruate?
How to use pads, tampons, and menstrual cups.
What is ovulation?
Vaginal Hygiene:
The vagina, is in fact, designed to keep itself clean with the help of natural secretions (discharge). But there are ways you can help maintain the cleanliness of your vagina (i.e. avoiding perfumed soaps and gently washing the vulva area, not the actual vagina.) Click the link for more information.
*Vaginal odors and discharge; what’s normal and what’s not?
What is douching?
What are Pap Smears?
"A Pap smear, also called a Pap test, is a procedure to test for cervical cancer in people. A Pap smear involves collecting cells from your cervix — the lower, narrow end of your uterus that’s at the top of your vagina."
When do I need a pap smear?
What are vaginal orgasms? Clitoral orgasms? G-Spot orgasms? How can you achieve an orgasm?
"A “vaginal orgasm” is the notion that [people] can have an orgasm through stimulation during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, entirely without clitoral stimulation. However, the vagina has few nerve endings, and therefore cannot create an orgasm on its own. Instead of thinking of the vagina and clitoris as separate entities, try thinking about them as a network of nerves and muscles."
"There’s some disagreement about the size of the G-spot; it may range from a quarter inch to a couple inches along the upper wall of your vagina, about an inch or two past your vaginal opening. Underneath it is highly sensitive tissue that, when touched the right way, triggers feelings of sexual happiness, explains Debby Herbenick, PhD."
Myths and facts about orgasms.
Tips on how to have an orgasm.
Having trouble reaching an orgasm? No worries, there is help! [x][x]
Female Genital Mutilation Information:
"Female genital mutilation (FGM) includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons."
“The procedure has no health benefits for girls and women.”
"Procedures can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, infertility as well as complications in childbirth and increased risk of newborn deaths."
"FGM is a violation of the human rights of girls and women."
The Basics (Anatomy and Biological Functions):
What is a penis?
What are testicles? (Basic Anatomy inside links.)
What is the penis’ biological function during sexual intercourse? (Specifically PIV sex.)
Examining your testicles for Testicular Cancer: How to.
Penile Hygiene:
"Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re having a shower or bath. If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash underneath."
"Gently washing your penis once a day with warm water is sufficient to maintain good hygiene. If you want to use soap, choose a mild or non-perfumed soap to reduce the risk of skin irritation."
What is an erection and ejaculation?
"An erection begins in the brain. Physical and/or mental stimulation cause nerves in the brain to send chemical messages to nerves in the penis telling the penile blood vessels to relax so that blood can flow freely into the penis. Once in the penis, high pressure traps the blood within both corpora cavernosa. This causes the penis to expand and sustain an erection."
"Ejaculation, the release of semen at climax, is triggered when a person reaches a critical level of excitement."
*Overcoming ejaculation problems.
Is ejaculation and having an orgasm the same thing?
What is semen and what does it do?
What is Erectile Dysfunction? Treatments.
What is circumcision & is it medically necessary?
"Circumcision is the removal of a simple fold of skin (the `foreskin’ or `prepuce’) that covers the head (glans) of the un-erect penis."
While there are benefits of being circumcised, it is not medically necessary.
The Basics:
What is masturbation and how do you do it?
Why do people masturbate?
Is masturbating normal and can it be harmful? (Short answer: Masturbation is normal, and no it is not harmful!)
WebMDs Masturbation FAQ.
The benefits of masturbation: [x] [x]
An Asexual’s Guide to Masturbation.
What is sex?
People define “sex” in different ways. Some people believe that it only counts as sex if a penis goes into a vagina, but this isn’t true for everybody. There are lots of different ideas about what sex can be: Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse), Oral sex (mouth-to-genital contact), Anal sex (penis-in-anus intercourse), Dry humping or genital rubbing, Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact), and Masturbation.
What is oral sex?
What is anal sex?
Why do people have sex?
How to have safe sex.
(STI and pregnancy prevention goes more in depth below!)
What is Consent and is it mandatory?
"Whenever you have sex, you need to make sure that your partner is just as enthusiastic about having sex. In other words, that they give their full consent.” Consent is an enthusiastic, freely-given, uncoerced, sober, “yes”.
Consent is ALWAYS mandatory, whether you’re married, dating or just met.
What is sex without consent? Rape/Sexual Assault.
What is sexual assault? What is rape? (Resources below.)
Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention.
What do I do if I’ve been sexually assaulted?
Sexual assault prevention and awareness.
Resources for sexual assault victims: United States.
Resources for sexual assault victims: Canada.
Resources for sexual assault victims: United Kingdom.
More international resources.
More resources.
Is sex supposed to hurt the first time?
"While it’s common for [some] to feel pain or discomfort with sex, it’s not “normal” in that it has to happen or there isn’t an alternative. Sex is not supposed to hurt: it’s supposed to feel very good.”
[Inside the link above, it does explain what to do to make sure sex is not painful.]
Are there benefits to having sex?
10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex.
Top 11 Benefits of Having Sex.
14 Unexpected Benefits of Having Sex.
What does MOGII mean?
Marginalized Orientation, Gender Identity, and Intersex.
It’s a synonym for LGBTQIAP+ and is inclusive for people who don’t have or don’t want labels, rejects allies, and uses no reclaimed slurs.
What is a sexual orientation?
"Sexual orientation describes to whom a person is sexually attracted. Some people are attracted to people of a particular gender; others are attracted to more than one gender. Some are not attracted to anyone."
“Affectional orientation is a term that describes to whom a person is romantically attracted, acknowledging that for many people there are more components to attraction than just sexual desire.”
What is gender identity?
"The ways in which a person identifies and/or expresses their gender, including self-image, appearance, and embodiment of gender roles. One’s sex (e.g., male, female, intersex, etc.) is usually assigned at birth based on one’s physical biology. One’s gender (e.g., man, woman, genderqueer, etc.) is one’s internal sense of self and identity.”
Some gender identities.
Some more gender identities.
Genderqueer and Non Binary Identities.
Resources for most Gender Identities.
(Resources for understanding gender identity, figuring out yours, how to come out to parents and friends, transitioning resources, local supports, and more!)
What is asexuality?
"Some people who identify as asexual do not experience sexual attraction to other people, while others experience sexual attraction but no desire to act on these attractions."
“Asexuality and Celibacy are not the same. Many people who are asexual live a celibate life, meaning that they do not engage in sex with others. But while Celibacy is a choice, asexuality is not.”
"Asexuality is not a dysfunction, and there is no need to find a "cause" or a "cure."" [x]
Are all people who identify as asexual sex repulsed? No!
Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
What does transgender mean? (Resources below!)
"Transgender – or trans – is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity or expression is different from those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth (e.g., the sex listed on their birth certificate)." [x]
"Transgender may be used to describe someone who was assigned female or male at birth, but later realizes that label doesn’t accurately reflect who they feel they are inside."
Resources for transgender people.
More resources for transgender people
Coming Out as Trans
All About Gender Therapy
Trans Health Matters: Trans Women
Trans Health Matters: Trans Men
Top 10 Trans-Friendly Colleges
What does intersex mean?
“Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.
How common is intersex?
Intersex Society of North America.
Resources for intersex people.
What are STIs, how do you get them, and what are the symptoms?
"A sexually transmissible infection (STI) is any infection or disease that can be passed from one person to another during sexual activity. Sexually transmissible infections include chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, scabies, pubic lice (crabs), hepatitis and HIV (the virus that causes AIDS).”
Why do we call them STIs now and not STDs?
Everyone is at risk of obtaining an STI, but some are more at risk.
STIs that can be contracted through non-sexual contact.
How do you protect yourself from STIs?
Female / male condoms and dental dams.
Finger cots (finger condoms).
Post-exposure prophylaxis, is a short-term antiretroviral treatment to reduce the likelihood of HIV infection after potential exposure.
Know the signs and symptoms of an STI. If you notice a symptom that worries you, get checked out!
How do I get tested for STIs?
What treatments are out there for STIs?
What is pregnancy? When are you considered to be pregnant? How do you get pregnant?
To be pregnant is to have an embryo/fetus developing in your uterus. “A pregnancy is considered to be established only after implantation is complete.”
"When engaging in unprotected vaginal intercourse during which ejaculation of sperm occurs in the vagina. The sperm can then travel up through the cervix, into the uterus, and, if an egg is present, the sperm may fertilize it."
"It is also possible — but less likely — for a person to become pregnant through any kind of sex play in which semen, or ejaculate, comes in contact with the vulva. The sperm can travel through the moisture on the vulva into the vagina."
WebMD’s Online Pregnancy Center.
What to Expect: Pregnancy.
Pregnancy Resources.
What are my options if I get pregnant?
If you’re pregnant you have three options; parenting, adoption, and abortion.
Only you can decide what is right for you, definitely take some time to go over your options, but remember, the sooner you decide the more options you’ll have.
Resources for Decision Making and Low Income Parenting.
Abortion funds and Judicial Bypass.
How do you prevent pregnancy? (Check out birth control masterpost below.)
"Birth control allows us to prevent pregnancy and plan the timing of pregnancy."
Birth control is not a “one size fit’s all deal” there are all different kinds of birth control out there from hormonal to non hormonal, methods to medicines, and so on. The best way to figure out which birth control works best for you is by doing research and speaking with your doctor.
****Contraceptives Masterpost****^^ Lists many birth control options (and links you to more information about these options), goes over emergency contraceptives and FAQs, birth control FAQs, options for people with allergies or personal preferences, and debunks myths about birth control.
Lubricants that should not be used on condoms.
Where can I obtain birth control/contraceptives?
Guide to getting privacy under parent’s health insurance.
10 Ways to save on Birth Control.
The 5 Steps of a Breast Self Exam: Checking for Breast Cancer.
Sex Ed for physically, emotionally, and mentally disabled youth.
Sex Ed for Youth with disability or chronic illness.
Advocates for Youth.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1trHcsS
bdsmgeek:
fetishweekly:
Shibari Tutorial: Weave Harness
♥ Always practice cautious kink! Have your sheers ready in case of emergency and watch extremities for circulation issues ♥
All the weaving! Very beautiful, thank you.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/XLMfI2
fetishweekly:
Shibari Tutorial: Weave Harness
♥ Always practice cautious kink! Have your sheers ready in case of emergency and watch extremities for circulation issues ♥
All the weaving! Very beautiful, thank you.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/XLMfI2
truebluemeandyou:
The Color Thesaurus for Writers and Designers from Ingrid’s Notes. The color blocks represent white, tan, yellow, orange, red, pink, purple, blue, green, brown, gray and black. Really interesting blog I’m going to pass onto writer friends. In her short bio she writes,
I have an MFA in writing for children and young adults from Vermont College of Fine Arts, and an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman University. I created this blog to share what I’ve been learning about the writing and publishing industry.
Here are more infographics writers have found useful:
Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 1 Infographic.
Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 2 Infographic.
Know Your Sunglasses Infographic.
Know Your Shoes Part 1 Infographic. Lobster Claws anyone?
Know Your Shoes Part 2 Infographic.
Know Your Necklines Infographic from Paper Blog.
Sleeves and Necklines Infographic.
Know Your Hats Infographic.
Know Your Collars and Cuffs Infographic.
Know Your Necklines Infographic.
Know Your Skirts Infographic.
Know Your Nail Shapes and What’s Popular on Instagram Infographics.
Know Your Eye Liners Infographic
Know Your Wedding Dresses Infographic
History of Swimwear Infographic
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1oY2gle
The Color Thesaurus for Writers and Designers from Ingrid’s Notes. The color blocks represent white, tan, yellow, orange, red, pink, purple, blue, green, brown, gray and black. Really interesting blog I’m going to pass onto writer friends. In her short bio she writes,
I have an MFA in writing for children and young adults from Vermont College of Fine Arts, and an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman University. I created this blog to share what I’ve been learning about the writing and publishing industry.
Here are more infographics writers have found useful:
Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 1 Infographic.
Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 2 Infographic.
Know Your Sunglasses Infographic.
Know Your Shoes Part 1 Infographic. Lobster Claws anyone?
Know Your Shoes Part 2 Infographic.
Know Your Necklines Infographic from Paper Blog.
Sleeves and Necklines Infographic.
Know Your Hats Infographic.
Know Your Collars and Cuffs Infographic.
Know Your Necklines Infographic.
Know Your Skirts Infographic.
Know Your Nail Shapes and What’s Popular on Instagram Infographics.
Know Your Eye Liners Infographic
Know Your Wedding Dresses Infographic
History of Swimwear Infographic
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1oY2gle
submissivefeminist:
Since the popularization of kink through the series “Fifty Shades of Grey,” I’ve gotten more and more inquires about the idea of contracts within established Dominant/submissive relationships. While these books and their problematic stance on ethics within BDSM are an entirely different conversation in itself, there is some truth to the idea of contracts used within the community. However, in order to maintain communication, understanding, and on-going consent, there are some specific ways of going about this that may or may not differ from the fictional portrayal.
It is important to first note very strongly that sex contracts between individuals have no legal bearing under the law. Never sign into one of these contracts with the misconception that a) you must legally obey all outlines b) that you may not opt out of the contract or its representing relationship(s) and that c) you may be sued with this document as evidence in a legal case against you. None of these things are true.
These contracts are not legally binding and are purely for an informational and organizational novelty use only.
With that in mind, contracts between sexual and/or romantic partners can be very beneficial at times. Drafting one requires lots of communication of ideas, desires, and limits. I fully suggest drafting a contract together, as opposed to one partner writing it for another’s approval. One of the biggest benefits to this is having a direct line of communication about everything that pertains to a D/s relationship, and that is one of the most important aspects to such a dynamic.
So, what kinds of things should you think about when writing a contract? What should be included? The answer to this question depends on the people involved in the relationship, as some aspects are more important to some than to others, and different dynamics have different clauses. However, here are some ideas to help you get started:
Established Roles
Establish who is the Dominant and who is the submissive. If both/all partners switch, write that in. If one/some of the partners switch, discuss the situations where the other would be willing to change roles or state clearly that one partner has a fixed position. Basically, establish the titles of each partner. Is the Dominant going to be referred to as “Sir,” or “Mistress,” or “Captain”? Is the submissive comfortable being called a “slut,” “fucktoy,” or “sissy”? Outline the acceptable titles of each partner and any hard limits in this area.
Define the Relationship
Are you in a committed relationship? What does that commitment mean? Is dating other people allowed? Playing with other people? Threesomes? Relationships with other people? Is this a poly-dynamic? Are you a triad? Outline the rules of commitment or non-commitment and establish what is and isn’t allowed from each partner to avoid upsetting anyone at a later point.
Consent Clause
I always suggest a clause on consent because I think it’s important for everyone to be aware of what consent means to each person. Does “no” mean to stop? Or can that be ignored in place of a safeword? What is the safeword? Is there a system of safewords or just one that means to stop everything? List any hand signals in cases where a gag is used.
Outline the definition of enthusiastic consent and make a vow to respect each other’s safety and always listen for the “yes!”. Write in limits such as, “no sex when I’ve been drinking,” or “no vaginal sex during mensuration” to make intentions absolutely clear.
Limits
Very simple, here. Create a list of hard and soft limits for each partner—soft limits being things that are a “maybe” or things that they have no interest in but would consider for their partner and hard limits being strong “no”s. Note any soft limits that the person would like to work on or push at some point.
Rules & Regulations
Is the submissive under a set of rules? Is the Dominant expected to have certain responsibilities? Document these things as a means to keep track of the expectations of each party. These can include but are not limited to:
Rituals.
Daily tasks.
Restrictions on clothing/orgasms/spending/etc.
Bedtimes.
Punishments.
Behaviour modification goals.
School or work obligations.
Journaling.
Termination Clause
Specifically state that either party is free to opt out of the contract and/or relationship at any time without question. If either party feels they have been violated or that their sexual, mental, or physical well-being is in danger, they have the right to end the relationship and thus make the contract void.
Right For Revision Clause
Since BDSM is highly about exploration, growth, and evolution, note that the contract can (and probably will) be revised upon either party’s request. If any information in any section changes, keep the contract updated of this information. Clauses can be added as needed, as well. All parties should be made aware of any changes and provided with a copy of the revised content.
All parties in the dynamic should have access to this file, either electronically or printed for their personal reference. For the symbolic effect of commitment to follow these guidelines, all parties should sign the bottom of the contract to ensure they understand their expectations and agree upon the terms applied.
Keep in mind these are for reference or for fun, not legal purposes. Make them as casual or legal-sounding as you would like. Some couples like to have them posted in the bedroom or play-space for reference. Any way you go about it is fine, so long as everyone is in agreement on how these procedures are drafted. Have fun with it!
xx SF
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1Dg0S76
Since the popularization of kink through the series “Fifty Shades of Grey,” I’ve gotten more and more inquires about the idea of contracts within established Dominant/submissive relationships. While these books and their problematic stance on ethics within BDSM are an entirely different conversation in itself, there is some truth to the idea of contracts used within the community. However, in order to maintain communication, understanding, and on-going consent, there are some specific ways of going about this that may or may not differ from the fictional portrayal.
It is important to first note very strongly that sex contracts between individuals have no legal bearing under the law. Never sign into one of these contracts with the misconception that a) you must legally obey all outlines b) that you may not opt out of the contract or its representing relationship(s) and that c) you may be sued with this document as evidence in a legal case against you. None of these things are true.
These contracts are not legally binding and are purely for an informational and organizational novelty use only.
With that in mind, contracts between sexual and/or romantic partners can be very beneficial at times. Drafting one requires lots of communication of ideas, desires, and limits. I fully suggest drafting a contract together, as opposed to one partner writing it for another’s approval. One of the biggest benefits to this is having a direct line of communication about everything that pertains to a D/s relationship, and that is one of the most important aspects to such a dynamic.
So, what kinds of things should you think about when writing a contract? What should be included? The answer to this question depends on the people involved in the relationship, as some aspects are more important to some than to others, and different dynamics have different clauses. However, here are some ideas to help you get started:
Established Roles
Establish who is the Dominant and who is the submissive. If both/all partners switch, write that in. If one/some of the partners switch, discuss the situations where the other would be willing to change roles or state clearly that one partner has a fixed position. Basically, establish the titles of each partner. Is the Dominant going to be referred to as “Sir,” or “Mistress,” or “Captain”? Is the submissive comfortable being called a “slut,” “fucktoy,” or “sissy”? Outline the acceptable titles of each partner and any hard limits in this area.
Define the Relationship
Are you in a committed relationship? What does that commitment mean? Is dating other people allowed? Playing with other people? Threesomes? Relationships with other people? Is this a poly-dynamic? Are you a triad? Outline the rules of commitment or non-commitment and establish what is and isn’t allowed from each partner to avoid upsetting anyone at a later point.
Consent Clause
I always suggest a clause on consent because I think it’s important for everyone to be aware of what consent means to each person. Does “no” mean to stop? Or can that be ignored in place of a safeword? What is the safeword? Is there a system of safewords or just one that means to stop everything? List any hand signals in cases where a gag is used.
Outline the definition of enthusiastic consent and make a vow to respect each other’s safety and always listen for the “yes!”. Write in limits such as, “no sex when I’ve been drinking,” or “no vaginal sex during mensuration” to make intentions absolutely clear.
Limits
Very simple, here. Create a list of hard and soft limits for each partner—soft limits being things that are a “maybe” or things that they have no interest in but would consider for their partner and hard limits being strong “no”s. Note any soft limits that the person would like to work on or push at some point.
Rules & Regulations
Is the submissive under a set of rules? Is the Dominant expected to have certain responsibilities? Document these things as a means to keep track of the expectations of each party. These can include but are not limited to:
Rituals.
Daily tasks.
Restrictions on clothing/orgasms/spending/etc.
Bedtimes.
Punishments.
Behaviour modification goals.
School or work obligations.
Journaling.
Termination Clause
Specifically state that either party is free to opt out of the contract and/or relationship at any time without question. If either party feels they have been violated or that their sexual, mental, or physical well-being is in danger, they have the right to end the relationship and thus make the contract void.
Right For Revision Clause
Since BDSM is highly about exploration, growth, and evolution, note that the contract can (and probably will) be revised upon either party’s request. If any information in any section changes, keep the contract updated of this information. Clauses can be added as needed, as well. All parties should be made aware of any changes and provided with a copy of the revised content.
All parties in the dynamic should have access to this file, either electronically or printed for their personal reference. For the symbolic effect of commitment to follow these guidelines, all parties should sign the bottom of the contract to ensure they understand their expectations and agree upon the terms applied.
Keep in mind these are for reference or for fun, not legal purposes. Make them as casual or legal-sounding as you would like. Some couples like to have them posted in the bedroom or play-space for reference. Any way you go about it is fine, so long as everyone is in agreement on how these procedures are drafted. Have fun with it!
xx SF
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1Dg0S76
moelui:
submissivefeminist:
BDSM can turn out to be one expensive hobby/lifestyle. With the cost of toys, lingerie, gear, and furniture, the cost really adds up and can take a toll on the budget of college students and those who aren’t as well off as we’d like to be. However, there are some very cheap alternatives to expensive play and some free forms of kink you can take part in, as well as some DIY projects.
Impact
Paddles, whips, floggers, canes, and crops all fall under this category of kink, which can all be pricey depending on the material you’re interested in. Leather is common, but can be on the more expensive end when you get a well-made toy. Cheap alternative work well for beginners, though.
Paddles
Wooden spoons.
Hairbrushes.
Leather belts.
Bath brushes.
Ping pong paddle.
Rulers/yard sticks.
Canes
Decorative bamboo.
Dowels from arts and craft stores or home improvement stores.
Thin copper piping.
Whips/Floggers
Homemade gimp (plastic strings) whips.
Homemade leather floggers with scrap leather from clothing or leather strings from a leather supply store.
For a more extreme and slightly nerdy flogger, you can fold a bunch of Ethernet cables over and tape around the folds to make a handle. This type of flogger has a bite to it!
Duct tape flogger.
Temperature Play
Temperature play is basically free if you have ice trays and/or a freezer. It’s something not a lot of people get into when they’re starting out with kink, but it can be really exciting to the right person.
Ice, Ice, Baby: Take a bowl or ice cubes to bed and tease your partner by rubbing them over the neck, chest, stomach, and genitals. There is bound to be lots of squirming and moaning if they enjoy the cool sensations. Blindfold them for an added element of surprise.
Ice Branding: I posted a full guide on this here. Check it out if you’re into semi-permanent marks and like numbingly cold sensations with little to moderate amounts of pain.
Ice Dildos: This little project is fun for those hot summer days! Take a condom and fill it to size with water, tying off the end. Around the condom, wrap an old paper towel roll to keep the shape of the condom while it freezes and tape it shut. Freeze overnight and then remove the condom and run it under warm water. You’re set to play!
If you’re into more advanced ice dildo-making, use rubber bands or tape to create different shapes and textures on the dildo.
Roleplay
Roleplay is generally a free kink, but for those who like to dress the part or use props, it can get expensive.
Check out stores like Goodwill, Savers, and local thrift shops for clothing. You can usually snag barely used to new clothes for a fraction of the price at these places. While I don’t suggest lingerie at these locations, things like business-wear for secretary/boss play or school uniforms for student/teacher play should be easy to find.
For other types of roleplay, check these locations just before or after Halloween, as they usually carry lots of costumes and accessories for cheap prices.
Bondage
Rope is pretty cheap, and an awesome way to start some bondage play. There are endless possibilities with rope, especially in large quantities. Save money by purchasing it at a home improvement store instead of sex shops.
Don’t waste money on books for references. If money is tight, head to YouTube and look up free videos on how to do specific ties. Search for the “The Knotty Boys” if you want some good starter material.
Internal Sex Toys
Money may be tight, but my advice here is never to settle for unsafe internal toys. Never buy jelly, rubber, or TPR toys. Spare yourself the infection and save up for a glass or silicone toy. If you really need a cheaper option, opt for hard, no-porous plastic.However, I assure you the difference in glass or silicone is worth the extra saving.
If you already own toys of an unsafe material, you need to use a condom with them or throw them out. Materials like TPR and rubber hold in bacterial and grow it, no matter how much you clean them. Materials like jelly do the same thing, but also break down and release toxins that are unsafe for your body.
Keep in mind that if you’re toy shopping at Edenfantasys, the code V2V entered at checkout where it says “partner codes” will get you 15% off everything in your cart and has no expiration date so keep the code and share all you’d like for savings.
xx SF
I just want to chime in here as a rope guy, you absolutely can and should learn with cheap rope, i got my start with 3 dollar per 100 foot clothesline from walmart and poly blends from home depot, all very cheap. However, with these cheaper ropes there are hazards to be aware of. Thinner ropes can be harder to untie, especially with non-synthetic ropes like cotton clotheslines, because the rope can swell under duress and be very difficult to untie. But don’t worry, that’s why you’re using cheap rope! Just cut it! Also make sure you have safety shears, they’re incredibly cheap and can save a life!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1wxkmTa
submissivefeminist:
BDSM can turn out to be one expensive hobby/lifestyle. With the cost of toys, lingerie, gear, and furniture, the cost really adds up and can take a toll on the budget of college students and those who aren’t as well off as we’d like to be. However, there are some very cheap alternatives to expensive play and some free forms of kink you can take part in, as well as some DIY projects.
Impact
Paddles, whips, floggers, canes, and crops all fall under this category of kink, which can all be pricey depending on the material you’re interested in. Leather is common, but can be on the more expensive end when you get a well-made toy. Cheap alternative work well for beginners, though.
Paddles
Wooden spoons.
Hairbrushes.
Leather belts.
Bath brushes.
Ping pong paddle.
Rulers/yard sticks.
Canes
Decorative bamboo.
Dowels from arts and craft stores or home improvement stores.
Thin copper piping.
Whips/Floggers
Homemade gimp (plastic strings) whips.
Homemade leather floggers with scrap leather from clothing or leather strings from a leather supply store.
For a more extreme and slightly nerdy flogger, you can fold a bunch of Ethernet cables over and tape around the folds to make a handle. This type of flogger has a bite to it!
Duct tape flogger.
Temperature Play
Temperature play is basically free if you have ice trays and/or a freezer. It’s something not a lot of people get into when they’re starting out with kink, but it can be really exciting to the right person.
Ice, Ice, Baby: Take a bowl or ice cubes to bed and tease your partner by rubbing them over the neck, chest, stomach, and genitals. There is bound to be lots of squirming and moaning if they enjoy the cool sensations. Blindfold them for an added element of surprise.
Ice Branding: I posted a full guide on this here. Check it out if you’re into semi-permanent marks and like numbingly cold sensations with little to moderate amounts of pain.
Ice Dildos: This little project is fun for those hot summer days! Take a condom and fill it to size with water, tying off the end. Around the condom, wrap an old paper towel roll to keep the shape of the condom while it freezes and tape it shut. Freeze overnight and then remove the condom and run it under warm water. You’re set to play!
If you’re into more advanced ice dildo-making, use rubber bands or tape to create different shapes and textures on the dildo.
Roleplay
Roleplay is generally a free kink, but for those who like to dress the part or use props, it can get expensive.
Check out stores like Goodwill, Savers, and local thrift shops for clothing. You can usually snag barely used to new clothes for a fraction of the price at these places. While I don’t suggest lingerie at these locations, things like business-wear for secretary/boss play or school uniforms for student/teacher play should be easy to find.
For other types of roleplay, check these locations just before or after Halloween, as they usually carry lots of costumes and accessories for cheap prices.
Bondage
Rope is pretty cheap, and an awesome way to start some bondage play. There are endless possibilities with rope, especially in large quantities. Save money by purchasing it at a home improvement store instead of sex shops.
Don’t waste money on books for references. If money is tight, head to YouTube and look up free videos on how to do specific ties. Search for the “The Knotty Boys” if you want some good starter material.
Internal Sex Toys
Money may be tight, but my advice here is never to settle for unsafe internal toys. Never buy jelly, rubber, or TPR toys. Spare yourself the infection and save up for a glass or silicone toy. If you really need a cheaper option, opt for hard, no-porous plastic.However, I assure you the difference in glass or silicone is worth the extra saving.
If you already own toys of an unsafe material, you need to use a condom with them or throw them out. Materials like TPR and rubber hold in bacterial and grow it, no matter how much you clean them. Materials like jelly do the same thing, but also break down and release toxins that are unsafe for your body.
Keep in mind that if you’re toy shopping at Edenfantasys, the code V2V entered at checkout where it says “partner codes” will get you 15% off everything in your cart and has no expiration date so keep the code and share all you’d like for savings.
xx SF
I just want to chime in here as a rope guy, you absolutely can and should learn with cheap rope, i got my start with 3 dollar per 100 foot clothesline from walmart and poly blends from home depot, all very cheap. However, with these cheaper ropes there are hazards to be aware of. Thinner ropes can be harder to untie, especially with non-synthetic ropes like cotton clotheslines, because the rope can swell under duress and be very difficult to untie. But don’t worry, that’s why you’re using cheap rope! Just cut it! Also make sure you have safety shears, they’re incredibly cheap and can save a life!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1wxkmTa
truebluemeandyou:
DIY How to Tie a Scarf Bow from …yet another beauty site. I’m over summer - it’s getting cold here.
For 50 Ways to Tie a Scarf (yes, not 40) go here.
And for those tired of how to tie a scarf tutorials there is this.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1sXQdJM
DIY How to Tie a Scarf Bow from …yet another beauty site. I’m over summer - it’s getting cold here.
For 50 Ways to Tie a Scarf (yes, not 40) go here.
And for those tired of how to tie a scarf tutorials there is this.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1sXQdJM
bananas-ooo:
I like practical techniques that you can use straightaway :) these are good!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1D8Q0rS
I like practical techniques that you can use straightaway :) these are good!
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1D8Q0rS
selfcareafterrape:
Boundaries are a complicated thing- especially for individuals who have been through trauma or come from families that had poor boundaries. We first learn boundaries in our family unit and then it is briefly talked about in schools, but most people just assume that boundaries are a thing ‘you know’. People who have gone through trauma may have had good boundaries before, but find them disrupted while trying to recover.
This is meant as a bare skeleton on how to rebuild boundaries:
Physical Boundaries.
Consciously make a decision about who can touch you, where and how. Lay out both things that are okay- and things that aren’t. Boundaries are going to vary from person to person- but you could say something like:
'I am okay with my friends hugging me but only if they do it from the front'
'I am not okay with anyone touching my neck'
'I am okay with people I've just met asking for hugs- but not with them touching me without asking first'
Boundaries are allowed to change too. Something you used to be okay with- might not be after trauma, or not on days that you’re triggered. If this happens, just talk to the individuals involved.
When someone violates a boundary- call them out. A simple ‘Hey, I really dislike being touched like that’ ‘I’m not a big fan of hugs’. Once you’ve laid out a boundary- you can just call someone’s attention to it with a simple ‘really?’ or ‘We’ve talked about this’ ‘You need to respect my decision on if I want to be touched.’
The best way to get someone to respect a boundary- is to say it in a calm but serious voice. Not angry but also not joking/nervously laughing. If you need to, physically take a step backwards to further reinforce the boundary.
Emotional Boundaries
Sometimes it can be hard to draw emotional boundaries because ‘they need us’, ‘they’re just acting out’, or ‘a good friend would’.
Understand that boundaries are necessarily for everyone involved, and just giving in every time someone asks you for something isn’t being a good friend- it is being a doormat. Having boundaries isn’t selfish- it allows everyone involved to grow.
Figure out what being a good friend really means for you- and understand that the best boundaries are flexible boundaries.
which means that you can set a boundary of ‘You cannot call me after 10 pm’ most of the time- and still be there should something come up that you feel it is appropriate to shift that boundary. Like, ‘Usually it isn’t okay to call me super late- but you’ve been through some rough stuff lately, so it is okay if you call me when you need me right now.’ Or ‘I usually wouldn’t handle you snapping at me- but I understand that x is going on. But I am going to make you aware that it isn’t going to continue. I’m happy to be here for you- but you are not going to use me as an emotional punching bag.’
You’re allowed to put boundaries on how much you can help too, ‘I’ll do what I can. but I can’t be there for you 24/7. It isn’t healthy for either of us for me to literally be your everything.’ and if you’re in that position- with a friend who is struggling, you can offer to help them find other means and other support- whether it be a hotline, a support group, or helping them make new friends… but you need to hold strong to the fact that you aren’t going to be ‘on call’ all the time. That you are a person too, and you have to take care of yourself as well. This does not make you selfish- I promise.
Material Boundaries
Material boundaries have to deal with our things. Such as whether or not you’re cool lending money to friends, or letting them stay at your house.
A big problem with material boundaries is that people often have a check list of ‘I can let so-and-so borrow stuff/stay over’ but they don’t set limits.
There is a big difference between someone spending a few nights on your coach because they’re only in the state that long, or they need a safe place to go too… and someone living in your house without paying rent for a couple of months.
and while there are some circumstances where you may permit that (helping a friend get out of an abusive relationship) there are others that you might not be.
And you are allowed to set those boundaries. It isn’t about how good of a friend you are. You aren’t failing someone when they need you most. You are setting boundaries that allow your relationships to survive.
It is also important to realize that if you have a friend that turns down things you offer- it is a boundary on their part. Sometimes people will try and convince someone to accept a gift or let them buy them dinner- and everyone needs to be aware that it isn’t cool to keep trying if someone is uncomfortable. A reason for this boundary may be ‘I can’t afford to pay you back- and I was taught to never be in debt to someone’ to ‘I am used to things like that coming with a price I can’t pay later on.’ and while on the first- you may be able to talk to them and be like, ‘hey, I’m in a better position financially right now… so let me get you dinner. you can pay me back with the pleasure of your company’ but understand when a no is a no.
Mental Boundaries
Mental Boundaries come in two main forms- our absorption of other people’s ideas, and how much what they say affects us.
Mental boundaries can be telling that friend that is just a little too pushy about their politics, “Hey, I would prefer not to talk about politics at the dinner table.” or “You know what? I don’t have information about either side right now. So I’m going to read up later instead of making an opinion based only off what your can tell me.”
Mental boundaries are what allow us to come in contact with gross individuals and come away less hurt. It doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to be effected by someone calling you a slur, or someone making comment on your worth- but they’re what allow us to say ‘They might think I’m (unpleasant thing) but 1. their opinion does not matter to me and 2. I have all these reasons I know otherwise/ people that believe otherwise. I shouldn’t let this hurt me.’ Setting a mental boundary doesn’t mean not calling people out who spout cruel things, or that you have to sit around and listen to it though. Play it safe and take care of yourself.
….
The thing about boundaries is that usually, they are found through bumping into them. Most of our boundaries are things we’ll never speak aloud because usually we don’t need to. (Think of it this way- you probably don’t have to tell your friends that it isn’t okay to punch you. Because this is a generally understood boundary.) People don’t sit down when they meet and go ‘Hi- I am so-and-so and never touch me here here and here, and never bring up this and never ask to do so and so’ and it would probably be a little weird if we did that about everything.
But when something is a strong boundary- such as a trigger, it is perfectly okay to bring it up before the boundary is bumped. Just a ‘Hey, I know this might sound weird, and you’d probably never do it- but I have a really bad reaction to people touching me without my permission and I’d rather put that out here now’
And a verbal/written call out of boundaries is the best one. while we should try and be conscious of people’s body language/ unvoiced cues- sometimes they can be hard to read or people don’t notice them.
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Boundaries are a complicated thing- especially for individuals who have been through trauma or come from families that had poor boundaries. We first learn boundaries in our family unit and then it is briefly talked about in schools, but most people just assume that boundaries are a thing ‘you know’. People who have gone through trauma may have had good boundaries before, but find them disrupted while trying to recover.
This is meant as a bare skeleton on how to rebuild boundaries:
Physical Boundaries.
Consciously make a decision about who can touch you, where and how. Lay out both things that are okay- and things that aren’t. Boundaries are going to vary from person to person- but you could say something like:
'I am okay with my friends hugging me but only if they do it from the front'
'I am not okay with anyone touching my neck'
'I am okay with people I've just met asking for hugs- but not with them touching me without asking first'
Boundaries are allowed to change too. Something you used to be okay with- might not be after trauma, or not on days that you’re triggered. If this happens, just talk to the individuals involved.
When someone violates a boundary- call them out. A simple ‘Hey, I really dislike being touched like that’ ‘I’m not a big fan of hugs’. Once you’ve laid out a boundary- you can just call someone’s attention to it with a simple ‘really?’ or ‘We’ve talked about this’ ‘You need to respect my decision on if I want to be touched.’
The best way to get someone to respect a boundary- is to say it in a calm but serious voice. Not angry but also not joking/nervously laughing. If you need to, physically take a step backwards to further reinforce the boundary.
Emotional Boundaries
Sometimes it can be hard to draw emotional boundaries because ‘they need us’, ‘they’re just acting out’, or ‘a good friend would’.
Understand that boundaries are necessarily for everyone involved, and just giving in every time someone asks you for something isn’t being a good friend- it is being a doormat. Having boundaries isn’t selfish- it allows everyone involved to grow.
Figure out what being a good friend really means for you- and understand that the best boundaries are flexible boundaries.
which means that you can set a boundary of ‘You cannot call me after 10 pm’ most of the time- and still be there should something come up that you feel it is appropriate to shift that boundary. Like, ‘Usually it isn’t okay to call me super late- but you’ve been through some rough stuff lately, so it is okay if you call me when you need me right now.’ Or ‘I usually wouldn’t handle you snapping at me- but I understand that x is going on. But I am going to make you aware that it isn’t going to continue. I’m happy to be here for you- but you are not going to use me as an emotional punching bag.’
You’re allowed to put boundaries on how much you can help too, ‘I’ll do what I can. but I can’t be there for you 24/7. It isn’t healthy for either of us for me to literally be your everything.’ and if you’re in that position- with a friend who is struggling, you can offer to help them find other means and other support- whether it be a hotline, a support group, or helping them make new friends… but you need to hold strong to the fact that you aren’t going to be ‘on call’ all the time. That you are a person too, and you have to take care of yourself as well. This does not make you selfish- I promise.
Material Boundaries
Material boundaries have to deal with our things. Such as whether or not you’re cool lending money to friends, or letting them stay at your house.
A big problem with material boundaries is that people often have a check list of ‘I can let so-and-so borrow stuff/stay over’ but they don’t set limits.
There is a big difference between someone spending a few nights on your coach because they’re only in the state that long, or they need a safe place to go too… and someone living in your house without paying rent for a couple of months.
and while there are some circumstances where you may permit that (helping a friend get out of an abusive relationship) there are others that you might not be.
And you are allowed to set those boundaries. It isn’t about how good of a friend you are. You aren’t failing someone when they need you most. You are setting boundaries that allow your relationships to survive.
It is also important to realize that if you have a friend that turns down things you offer- it is a boundary on their part. Sometimes people will try and convince someone to accept a gift or let them buy them dinner- and everyone needs to be aware that it isn’t cool to keep trying if someone is uncomfortable. A reason for this boundary may be ‘I can’t afford to pay you back- and I was taught to never be in debt to someone’ to ‘I am used to things like that coming with a price I can’t pay later on.’ and while on the first- you may be able to talk to them and be like, ‘hey, I’m in a better position financially right now… so let me get you dinner. you can pay me back with the pleasure of your company’ but understand when a no is a no.
Mental Boundaries
Mental Boundaries come in two main forms- our absorption of other people’s ideas, and how much what they say affects us.
Mental boundaries can be telling that friend that is just a little too pushy about their politics, “Hey, I would prefer not to talk about politics at the dinner table.” or “You know what? I don’t have information about either side right now. So I’m going to read up later instead of making an opinion based only off what your can tell me.”
Mental boundaries are what allow us to come in contact with gross individuals and come away less hurt. It doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to be effected by someone calling you a slur, or someone making comment on your worth- but they’re what allow us to say ‘They might think I’m (unpleasant thing) but 1. their opinion does not matter to me and 2. I have all these reasons I know otherwise/ people that believe otherwise. I shouldn’t let this hurt me.’ Setting a mental boundary doesn’t mean not calling people out who spout cruel things, or that you have to sit around and listen to it though. Play it safe and take care of yourself.
….
The thing about boundaries is that usually, they are found through bumping into them. Most of our boundaries are things we’ll never speak aloud because usually we don’t need to. (Think of it this way- you probably don’t have to tell your friends that it isn’t okay to punch you. Because this is a generally understood boundary.) People don’t sit down when they meet and go ‘Hi- I am so-and-so and never touch me here here and here, and never bring up this and never ask to do so and so’ and it would probably be a little weird if we did that about everything.
But when something is a strong boundary- such as a trigger, it is perfectly okay to bring it up before the boundary is bumped. Just a ‘Hey, I know this might sound weird, and you’d probably never do it- but I have a really bad reaction to people touching me without my permission and I’d rather put that out here now’
And a verbal/written call out of boundaries is the best one. while we should try and be conscious of people’s body language/ unvoiced cues- sometimes they can be hard to read or people don’t notice them.
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safeword:
i hear LOADS of people, on my blog and elsewhere, telling a story that goes roughly like this:
"i’m dating this person, and i’m really subby and i just KNOW my partner could be dommy if they tried, but they keep saying they don’t want to hurt me. i tell them i WANT them to hurt me, i’ve told them a million times, but they just can’t get into it."
sound familiar?
huge step-by-step advice post under the cut!
Read More
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i hear LOADS of people, on my blog and elsewhere, telling a story that goes roughly like this:
"i’m dating this person, and i’m really subby and i just KNOW my partner could be dommy if they tried, but they keep saying they don’t want to hurt me. i tell them i WANT them to hurt me, i’ve told them a million times, but they just can’t get into it."
sound familiar?
huge step-by-step advice post under the cut!
Read More
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noctislucisscaelum:
Theme type: Redirecting pageCode name: RP001. Aesthetic and simplisticCreator: noctislucisscaelumLinks: static preview / LIVE PREVIEW / code
Why is this theme so cool?
First of all it looks nice. But this is not important here. The most important thing about this theme is that it will send your visitors not only to your blog but also to the post or page they wanted to see.And here is the example of how it works.
Features & important notes:
theme redirects you after 5 seconds;
aesthetic and good looking;
fully customizable at the customize page so there is no need to mess up with html code;
for the comfort of customization you can disable the redirection effect and don’t forget to enable it again when you are finished!
In case of any troubles of questions shoot me a message
Reblog and/or like if you are going to use / planning on using this page.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1oYwT9i
Theme type: Redirecting pageCode name: RP001. Aesthetic and simplisticCreator: noctislucisscaelumLinks: static preview / LIVE PREVIEW / code
Why is this theme so cool?
First of all it looks nice. But this is not important here. The most important thing about this theme is that it will send your visitors not only to your blog but also to the post or page they wanted to see.And here is the example of how it works.
Features & important notes:
theme redirects you after 5 seconds;
aesthetic and good looking;
fully customizable at the customize page so there is no need to mess up with html code;
for the comfort of customization you can disable the redirection effect and don’t forget to enable it again when you are finished!
In case of any troubles of questions shoot me a message
Reblog and/or like if you are going to use / planning on using this page.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1oYwT9i
Cleaning Your Adult Toys Based on Material
Sep. 7th, 2014 11:12 amthebasics215:
Adult toys are a splendid way to promote safe sex with one’s self. Sharing a toy with a partner is even more fun. But to avoid bacterial infection or transmissions of STDs and to maintain the quality of your toy, products should be properly cleaned. Here are a few tips on how to clean your sex toys.
Cleaning non-porous materials (do not absorb dirt and bacteria): silicone, hard plastic or acrylic, glass, Pyrex, and stainless steel
Silicone: There are 3 effective options for cleaning silicone toys. You can boil toys for 5-10 minutes, place in the top rack of your dishwasher, or wash with gentle fragrance free anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Remember to not boil silicone toys with electrical components. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Hard Plastic or Acrylic: Toys made of hard plastic or acrylic can be cleaned with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Do not boil. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Glass, Pyrex, or Stainless Steel: Glass and Pyrex toys may be washed with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. They are also dishwasher safe. Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures. Boil or soak stainless steel toys (that do not contain electrical components) in a 50:50 ratio bleach-water solution for 10 minutes. Anti-bacterial soap with warm water or a cycle through the dishwasher works as well.
Cleaning porous materials (trap dirt and bacteria): rubber or jelly and realistic materials
Rubber or Jelly: Sex toys made of rubber or jelly can be cleaned with gentle anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Be sure to thoroughly rinse soap completely off the toy so that it doesn’t become damaged or an irritation to you. For the upmost safety, using a condom with rubber or jelly toys is highly recommended. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Realistic Materials: Wash these items with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. After a deep cleaning, let the items completely dry. Lastly, to maintain the quality and freshness of the toy, apply a light coating of cornstarch.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1q1sVmp
Adult toys are a splendid way to promote safe sex with one’s self. Sharing a toy with a partner is even more fun. But to avoid bacterial infection or transmissions of STDs and to maintain the quality of your toy, products should be properly cleaned. Here are a few tips on how to clean your sex toys.
Cleaning non-porous materials (do not absorb dirt and bacteria): silicone, hard plastic or acrylic, glass, Pyrex, and stainless steel
Silicone: There are 3 effective options for cleaning silicone toys. You can boil toys for 5-10 minutes, place in the top rack of your dishwasher, or wash with gentle fragrance free anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Remember to not boil silicone toys with electrical components. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Hard Plastic or Acrylic: Toys made of hard plastic or acrylic can be cleaned with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Do not boil. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Glass, Pyrex, or Stainless Steel: Glass and Pyrex toys may be washed with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. They are also dishwasher safe. Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures. Boil or soak stainless steel toys (that do not contain electrical components) in a 50:50 ratio bleach-water solution for 10 minutes. Anti-bacterial soap with warm water or a cycle through the dishwasher works as well.
Cleaning porous materials (trap dirt and bacteria): rubber or jelly and realistic materials
Rubber or Jelly: Sex toys made of rubber or jelly can be cleaned with gentle anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Be sure to thoroughly rinse soap completely off the toy so that it doesn’t become damaged or an irritation to you. For the upmost safety, using a condom with rubber or jelly toys is highly recommended. Air dry and wipe with a clean cloth before storing.
Realistic Materials: Wash these items with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. After a deep cleaning, let the items completely dry. Lastly, to maintain the quality and freshness of the toy, apply a light coating of cornstarch.
via:Tumblr http://ift.tt/1q1sVmp
