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FUCKING MATZAH BALL SOUP
Dec. 17th, 2013 12:27 pmfuckingrecipes:
HAIL, FELLOW JEWISH COOKS AND APPRECIATORS OF JEWISH COOKERY! HAPPY OUR FUCKING OIL LASTS LONGER THAN YOUR OPPRESSION WEEK! LET’S MAKE SOME GODDAMN DELICIOUS MATZAH BALL SOUP! THIS RECIPE WILL NOT REQUIRE YOU TO CASTRATE A MATZAH.
YOU ONLY NEED A FEW THINGS, AND THE ONLY ONES YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN’T DO WITHOUT ARE SOME EGGS AND MATZAH MEAL. YOU CAN MAKE MATZAH MEAL BY POUNDING MATZAH INTO DUST WITH YOUR OWN HANDS (OR FOOD PROCESSOR), OR YOU CAN BUY IT.
BEGIN BY MIXING YOUR INGREDIENTS IN THE PROPORTION OF TWOS: FOR EVERY 1/2 CUP OF MATZAH MEAL, YOU NEED TWO EGGS, TWO TABLESPOONS OF WATER OR CHICKEN STOCK, AND TWO TABLESPOONS OF OLIVE OIL. IF YOUR OLIVE OIL IS BUSY FIGHTING OPPRESSION, USE ANY KIND OF VEGETABLE OIL. ADD A LITTLE BIT OF SALT IF YOU LIKE THINGS TO HAVE SALT IN THEM.
MIX UNTIL UNIFORMLY GOOEY, THEN PUT IN A COVERED CONTAINER AND PUT IN THE FRIDGE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELDRITCH MAGIC HAPPENS DURING THIS STEP, BUT IT IS MAGIC INDEED, AND YOU MAY NOT SKIP IT. THE MATZAH GOO MUST HAVE ITS FIFTEEN MINUTES.
IN THE MEANTIME, PREPARE CHICKEN SOUP IN THE MANNER OF YOUR LIKING. ANYTHING FROM PLAIN CANNED BROTH TO A MAGNIFICENT FEAST IN A POT WILL DO. OR VEGETABLE SOUP IF YOU ARE NOT AN EATER OF FLESH.
BRING YOUR SOUP TO A BOIL. RETRIEVE THE MATZAH GOO FROM THE FRIDGE AND FORM IT INTO BALLS ABOUT AN INCH ACROSS. (SOME PEOPLE MAKE GIANT MATZAH SPHERES OF THREE INCHES. THESE PEOPLE ARE STRANGE IN THEIR WAYS AND I SHALL SPEAK NO MORE OF THEM.) CAST MERCY ASIDE AND DROP EACH MATZAH BALL INTO THE BOILING SOUP.
WHEN ALL THE GOO HAS BEEN BALLED AND ALL THE BALLS HAVE BEEN SOUPED, REDUCE HEAT TO A SIMMER, COVER THE POT, AND ALLOW TO COOK FOR TEN MINUTES. THE MATZAH BALLS SHOULD BE FLOATING BUT STILL FIRM WHEN THEY ARE DONE.
(OPINIONS DIFFER ON MATZAH BALL FIRMNESS, AND MANY BATTLES HAVE BEEN FOUGHT. EXPERIMENTATION MAY BE NECESSARY TO FIND YOUR OWN PREFERRED BALL FIRMNESS.)
SERVE IN A SPIRIT OF JUSTICE, WITH NONE ALLOTTED MORE MATZAH BALLS PER BOWL THAN IS THEIR FAIR SHARE.
FEAST.
via:Tumblr http://shamelesslymkp.tumblr.com/post/70284409596
HAIL, FELLOW JEWISH COOKS AND APPRECIATORS OF JEWISH COOKERY! HAPPY OUR FUCKING OIL LASTS LONGER THAN YOUR OPPRESSION WEEK! LET’S MAKE SOME GODDAMN DELICIOUS MATZAH BALL SOUP! THIS RECIPE WILL NOT REQUIRE YOU TO CASTRATE A MATZAH.
YOU ONLY NEED A FEW THINGS, AND THE ONLY ONES YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN’T DO WITHOUT ARE SOME EGGS AND MATZAH MEAL. YOU CAN MAKE MATZAH MEAL BY POUNDING MATZAH INTO DUST WITH YOUR OWN HANDS (OR FOOD PROCESSOR), OR YOU CAN BUY IT.
BEGIN BY MIXING YOUR INGREDIENTS IN THE PROPORTION OF TWOS: FOR EVERY 1/2 CUP OF MATZAH MEAL, YOU NEED TWO EGGS, TWO TABLESPOONS OF WATER OR CHICKEN STOCK, AND TWO TABLESPOONS OF OLIVE OIL. IF YOUR OLIVE OIL IS BUSY FIGHTING OPPRESSION, USE ANY KIND OF VEGETABLE OIL. ADD A LITTLE BIT OF SALT IF YOU LIKE THINGS TO HAVE SALT IN THEM.
MIX UNTIL UNIFORMLY GOOEY, THEN PUT IN A COVERED CONTAINER AND PUT IN THE FRIDGE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELDRITCH MAGIC HAPPENS DURING THIS STEP, BUT IT IS MAGIC INDEED, AND YOU MAY NOT SKIP IT. THE MATZAH GOO MUST HAVE ITS FIFTEEN MINUTES.
IN THE MEANTIME, PREPARE CHICKEN SOUP IN THE MANNER OF YOUR LIKING. ANYTHING FROM PLAIN CANNED BROTH TO A MAGNIFICENT FEAST IN A POT WILL DO. OR VEGETABLE SOUP IF YOU ARE NOT AN EATER OF FLESH.
BRING YOUR SOUP TO A BOIL. RETRIEVE THE MATZAH GOO FROM THE FRIDGE AND FORM IT INTO BALLS ABOUT AN INCH ACROSS. (SOME PEOPLE MAKE GIANT MATZAH SPHERES OF THREE INCHES. THESE PEOPLE ARE STRANGE IN THEIR WAYS AND I SHALL SPEAK NO MORE OF THEM.) CAST MERCY ASIDE AND DROP EACH MATZAH BALL INTO THE BOILING SOUP.
WHEN ALL THE GOO HAS BEEN BALLED AND ALL THE BALLS HAVE BEEN SOUPED, REDUCE HEAT TO A SIMMER, COVER THE POT, AND ALLOW TO COOK FOR TEN MINUTES. THE MATZAH BALLS SHOULD BE FLOATING BUT STILL FIRM WHEN THEY ARE DONE.
(OPINIONS DIFFER ON MATZAH BALL FIRMNESS, AND MANY BATTLES HAVE BEEN FOUGHT. EXPERIMENTATION MAY BE NECESSARY TO FIND YOUR OWN PREFERRED BALL FIRMNESS.)
SERVE IN A SPIRIT OF JUSTICE, WITH NONE ALLOTTED MORE MATZAH BALLS PER BOWL THAN IS THEIR FAIR SHARE.
FEAST.
via:Tumblr http://shamelesslymkp.tumblr.com/post/70284409596
