shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
timemachineyeah:

So this girl walks up to another girl and says “Hey, have you heard of the Bechdel Test?”

And the other girl says, “Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day!”

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
georgemallory:

nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order

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shamelessly_mkp: (Default)
noahwayout:

“HONEY”
“WHAT”
“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”
“WHAT”“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”
“I UHHHH. ORGANIZED THEM.”“WHAT?!”
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”“I NEED THEM”“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”
“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

i think i just died.

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